March of 2015 I was 16 and I almost successfully killed my self. I woke up in the hospital and I cried. I think the nurse thought I was crying tears of relief but I wasn’t. I was crying because I felt like a failure. Fast forward to ten years later and I am ashamed I survived. My life isn’t anything special. I never planned for a future because I had this thought I was never going to see it. Even after my attempt I didn’t get better. I tried to end it again a few years later. My life means nothing. I am 26 years old with nothing to show for it other than being married. That’s the only good thing. I have this deep deep feeling of just being inadequate because I don’t have an ambitions. Even now I have a hard time planning for the future because I still feel like I’m not going to be here. I literally survived for what???
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U survived for your family…Family! You mentioned u married right?..so how is self harm gonna help u and don’t u think u will be hurting those who love u?
I’m 42 and don’t even have a marriage to show for it. Not even a failed one.
Most people who commit suicide don’t actually want to die.
I don’t think the reason you want to die is because you have no ambitions; I think it’s more your perception of life. You need to change your mindset immediately.
Saying you won’t be here is self sabotage. It’s like saying. Well I won’t do anything today because I’m certain it’s worthless. You’re giving up when you haven’t even actually started and you have no idea how life will turn out.
You’re not a failure. Life isn’t all what it is on instagram and x or whatever social you’re on. I also feel like you are socially isolating yourself. I’m not sure if you’re on your phone all the time but this can be a major contributing factor.
Everyday you need to write down 3 things that were good or positive things that happened. On those 3 things, write about them. Why were they good? How did it make you feel? Don’t focus on the negative. Just the positive. Do it everyday.
I would also find a mental health specialist and a neurologist. Find people who care about you and be with those people. You will completely change your outlook on life. Change your diet, eat less processed and more organic. Go outside for a walk when the sun is out. Drink water. Workout. Get good sleep 8-9 hrs a day.
INVEST IN YOURSELF.