I don’t know what else to say. I’m so emotionally drained and exhausted. I will always stay true to my vows, and this is the love of my life, so I don’t plan nor want to leave. But at this point I feel so crushed… I already suffer from depression, always have. I was already barely keeping myself afloat and now I’m sinking myself. I’ve made her a therapy appointment for next week, but it’s going to be a struggle to get through the next week.
It interferes with my work and our finances. I just want to take care of her and help her on the way to feeling better. But it’s so much sometimes.
Just a shout into the void I guess.
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Just breathe, and know that your strength is evident to everyone, it takes a REAL warrior to hold that together
I used to be this type of partner. I’ve grown out of it since, but I can also sympathize in that I would probably be exhausted if I was dating someone like that.
Being in that state of mind every day is exhausting, too. She’s very lucky to have a partner who tries every day to make things a little better.
I don’t know what she’s going through, or your relationship dynamic. But what’s helped me since I’ve been single and healing from that on my own is getting outside and off my phone. It drives me crazy. Even now, if I spend too much time on my phone it dampens my mood significantly. Might be easier said than done, but maybe in the meantime, this week you could try to find a healthy activity to do together like a painting class or archery. Something she could potentially enjoy when she’s having a really bad day that’s outside of the relationship. I like archery. It seriously has benefited me with anxiety.
I’m sorry, OP. I can’t imagine how it’s been for both of you. I hope you find some sort of middle ground and I hope therapy does her well.
As someone with PTSD, who has watched it impact significant others, I would highly suggest you also enroll yourself in therapy. You may learn tools to better help both her and yourself, and you will hopefully learn what your own needs are and how to make sure they’re being met too. You deserve just as much love as you are providing her, and it’s crucial that you realize that and learn that she can’t always come first and you can’t constantly be “rescuing” her. That only does a disservice to both of you.
I’m feeling this so much today. My wife’s anxiety is through the roof constantly. Multiple panic attacks per day. I don’t know what to do to help. She’s in therapy twice a week already. I feel your pain. Hold on for this week and hopefully the therapist can give you both some relief.