I’m f15 and I wanna end it all. I’m not pretty. I get zero attention. I’m a failure. I’m failing two classes and I’m trying so hard. I try to take care of myself but it’s not doing anything but overwhelming me. My best friends is constantly putting herself in toxic situations and then crying to me about it and I can’t take it anymore. I’m fed up. I feel like a teenage whore. I wanna kms so bad. I’m so fucking done. Thank you to my “friends” but I’m done. I’m so so tired. I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry if I hurt anyone but I don’t care. I’ll never be enough. I’ll never get anything back. I want my virginity back. I want the police to open my fucking SA case. I want my life back. Why the fuck am I so stupid. I can’t fucking wait till it’s over.
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If you have a SA case, do you have any evidence that may help. It seems that is the root of your problems. Also, looks can get better, i have seen girls who get prettier with age and get attention later in life. When I mean later i mean in their 20s. Give it a shot and see how that goes, meanwhile just keep doing your best.
I’ve been there failing, invisible, angry no one listened. You’re not weak. You’re tired. The SA wasn’t your fault. Don’t go. Talk. You’re not alone.
I’m sorry for whatever happened. It’s not your fault and you don’t deserve to feel like this.
You’re worth it. You’re 15. It will get better.
Trust.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling all of this, but even though I don’t know you, I can promise that none of the self-depricating things you’re saying are true. Your life has INFINITE value, and things that seem permanent now will either come to pass or make you stronger. Please trust me when I say that at your age, everything feels like a much bigger and more permanent problem than it really is. You WILL gain proper perspective as you grow and mature, and ending your life now before you’ve had the chance to do that would be an absolute tragedy. I can’t tell you how many things I went through that felt like the end of the world, leading me to think I would never be able to have any sort of joy or happiness again, and now I’m married with a baby girl on the way. Things WILL get better, just please take life one day at a time and don’t give up!
I know this doesn’t seem like it will help. But trauma also gives you the opportunity to draw strength.
You are young. While it seems like it will never end, it will. One day things will be better. Sometimes all you can do is focus on the small moments. The bliss of a warm cup of coffee. The song of a mourning dove.
Hell is other people. Don’t tie you life and your value to your relationships with them. Be your own being. And find peace and solace in not letting your circumstances or the people in your life define you. You chose who you are. You chose how you react to each storm the world will bring. Shut out the world. Focus on yourself your schooling and your sleep. Lock it down for one day. Sure it is boring. But boring is consistent. And there is serious value in consistent results in the real world.
It gets better. Highschool isn’t the best time of life for everyone. You’ll get out in the world, you’ll find your people.
It gets better. It’s an endurance exercise, but you’ll get through it.
We’re thinking about you.
You can get through this! Just take one day at a time. You will still have the scars from the trauma.
When you are ready, take a walk around the park. Focus on everything that is nature. Give your brain a rest. Play Tetris, it’s supposed to help your brain deal with trauma.
Give yourself some grace. You are the most important person in your life right now. Take care of yourself before anyone or anything. Do things that YOU like.
Make a list of things you would like to do. Try to do one thing on the list every day. Challenge yourself! Add to the list, keep track of all of the things you’ve done.
Don’t pay too much attention to your classmates. After you graduate, you’ll never see them again. They will slowly move on and so will you.
Focus on school. Graduating and furthering your education is a way of investing in yourself. You will have more job opportunities if you have a well rounded education.
Now go take a hot bubble bath and relax. Please take note of what everyone here is saying. You are worth every bit to us and we care about your welfare. Please update us, even if it seems frivolous.
I’m sorry you are feeling this wau. I’m your future self, and am here to tell you, it DOES get better and you get to decide when. Future you is a strong and resilient human who is nailing life. And learn you can’t control other people’s actions, thoughts, feelings, etc. Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business. You don’t have to PROVE to be likeable, they have to decide that. You are worthy of love, of good things, of true friends.
What is one thing that you can do to make your life different? What is one thing that would make your life worth living? I guarantee you are beautiful. You are a person who listens to their friends and tries to make things better for them. But don’t do it if it costs you your peace. More importantly these people around you will not matter to you in 3 years.
Sexual assault is about power and control. Don’t give it to your perpetrator. You take back your control everyday you walk with your head held high. Do nkt carry the shame and guilt for THEIR shitty behaviors.. you did nothing wrong.
This all is tough, but so are you.
You’re not stupid, and you’re not a failure. You’re a 15-year-old girl who’s been through hell and is still here, still feeling, still fighting in your own way. That takes guts. You deserve to take your life back—not the old one, maybe, but a new one where you feel safe and valued. Keep holding on, even just for today. You’ve got people rooting for you, even if you can’t see them yet. You’re worth it.
I mean at least give yourself the chance to get older. 15 is a very awkward age emotionally, mentally, and physically. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone say, “man, I was so hot at 15, but now I’m a ghoul”. There are people who just get better looking as they age, but even then so many of us always think we’re ugly, no matter how attractive we are or aren’t l. All we see are the flaws, but sometimes that’s the thing that attracts others, even if you don’t understand it. But I totally get it, being “done” is so relatable, but you’ve barely been alive, give yourself another 5 or 10 years, then reassess.
Sorry authorities are being dicks about you SA.
Oh, honey, sexual assault causes all sorts of dark feelings that are hard to grapple with. As someone else who has been SA’d, I want to say that a lot of us don’t think rape is losing your virginity. To me, virginity is when you GIVE yourself to another person, not when someone takes your autonomy.