Am I really that bad? I’m 22(f) and my fiance is 23(m), he was born in a middle eastern country but when we met told me how he didn’t like how the culture treated women and that he left his religion and needed to also escape the country so now he lives in a western country. We’ve been 6 years together and we had arguments throughout the years but lately there are arguments I don’t understand where they are coming from. And not long ago he even told me I’ll be a bad wife. The issue we face is that I’m argumentative what I mean is, if I believe I’m right will try to hold the other side accountable, an example will be, that I love plants and take care of them, one of my plants got sick and I was treating it how I know then my fiance loudly early in the morning told me how I’m doing this all wrong and his dad told him what to do ( he never mentioned to me his plan for my plant) so I told him you don’t need to be so loud I know what I’m doing with the plant and if he had mentioned that he had a plan to treat it I would have done as he asked. My fiance comment was then to ignore me for a while then a few minutes later tell me how it’s just a plant and I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it I should just say sorry and shut up. This is what he wants me to do even if I’m right to always say sorry and move on if he will think that he did something wrong he will apologize to me later, he also says that women in his home country all behave like that and not like argumentative b*tchs, and he can replace me at any second with someone from his home country. I do believe that sometimes I should be more chill about things but that any self respecting person wouldnt want to be shouted at and it’s okay to ask to stop, or ask the other side to apologize. What I want to ask am I really that bad? Like is it so unforgivable? I know it’s because the way I was raised to be kind and take care of the people I love but also to fight for what’s right.
A thing to note I mostly do you the house work (cook and clean) as well as work and study
My fiance also studies and works.
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He doesn’t like the way women are treated in his home country so he comes to your country and expects you to behave as the oppressed women of his home country!
He is just as misogynistic as the men he left behind, he just doesn’t want to see himself that way. Run!
Don’t marry that guy. He doesn’t respect you. Anyone who believes women should just agree and shut up is not worth your time. If he can find someone else, let him. Have higher standards.
Buy him a one way plane ticket to his home country.
This is foreshadowing to your future. Threatening you by leaving you to find a woman from his home country will turn into him threatening divorce once you’re married. Speaking your mind is not something you should feel ashamed about. The fact you say you need to ‘chill’ means his manipulation is working, he’s wearing you down.
Don’t be one of those women who become complacent to a man who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve. You’re young, and there is someone out there who will value the things that this jerk tears you down about. He’s seems like a closeted misogynist and I wouldn’t stick around to see what else he’s been lying about.
Run, don’t walk, away from this fucking dude. Moving country doesn’t eradicate a toxic culture. This post is your warning that you can look back to as a reminder if you need it.