I’m writing this in a rush because I feel helpless. My boyfriend and I are together for over a year now and we started talking about masturbation openly a while back. But I think he’s addicted to porn and masturbation. Talking about porn and hentai Is like a half of what he’ll talk about all day and I’m getting sick of it. I’m a person that doesn’t masturbate to porn/hentai at all (I used to) but now only the thought of my boyfriend turns me on. Meanwhile, he masturbates fucking 6 times a day when I’m not home and three times when I am home (+ some sex with me). I’m feeling hurt and angry at him because of it. I don’t know if it’s justified. I kinda feel bad. But what kinda freaks me out is that he refuses to let me see the porn he masturbates to. He hides stuff like that in his phone and doesn’t let me touch his phone without him watching. Just today, we were laying in bed together and all of a sudden he got touchy and spread my legs and we just went at it. But after he spread my legs, he was like: “Or what if I’d masturbate” …… Bitch, what? You’d rather masturbate than to have sex with me? That you started initiating yourself? I understand that sex is tiring, so I’d tolerate if he’d masturbate sometimes if he was really horny. But he does it so much that it’s making me so angry. Yeah, and today after the initiated sex from him, like 15 minutes after, he was like: “Can I masturbate?” He says that he only does it for the quick dopamine rush and shit so it’s kinda making me feel bad for feeling hurt but idk.
EDIT: Today, our conversation came to porn again and I feel bad and insecure again. He watches the perfect girls which have free OF (Onlyfans) accounts. They have totally perfect bodies. Well, since I came to his place today, he hasn’t initiated anything.No intimacy, no nothing. I just know that he masturbated many times when I fell asleep from exhaustion for like 3 hours. Anyway, thank you for all your feedback. I know I’m torturing myself for not wanting to leave but I wanna try to at least know more about his addiction. For now, I don’t plan on leaving until I talk to him about it more. But leaving stays an option if I can’t take it anymore or find something disturbing.
EDIT2: I just broke down to him and told him about how insecure I feel and stuff. That pissed him off and he told me that he’ll masturbate (my punishment). I broke down even more and we talked for some time. At the end, when I was only in my undies and we were cuddling, he said “Now get out” (signaling that he wants to masturbate). I left the room, being visibly fucking angry and now I’m in the bathroom, just sitting here, not knowing what to think anymore.
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girl, stand up and leave this man. is that really the man you wanna end up with for life? i mean, what more do you wanna know about him masturbating. what is there left to feel other than jealousy from the other women he watches?
If he knows how this makes you feel and it’s an issue then this isn’t your problem to fix. He has what seems to be an addiction and it’s not only affecting his life but yours too.
You deserve better
Leave him. There’s no other solution to your problem. He could get help but such a man won’t change. Also, he sounds like a narcissist so that’s also a reason why you should leave him.
Bro is literally addicted to masturbating and porn fuck that even after a vulnerable moment he signals u to get out that’s horrible you need to take care of yourself you can self sacrifice your needs when he clearly doesn’t care that you are it’s not going to stop him that you’ve stopped and you’re hurting because he doesn’t care honestly. If he did he’d make an effort to change but he’s not going to.. don’t self destruct you deserve pleasure!! Give it to yourself and ask leave him fr fr it’s okay for couples to pleasure themselves it’s natural but there’s also boundaries
Honey… leave him. Trust me I know how hard it is to let go of someone you love. But this is an actual addiction. This isn’t just a simple “I love sex”. This is a real problem. He needs help. But he probably won’t ever get it.
Find someone who respects you. Because this is NOT respect.
Tell him he can masturbate whenever he wants, because he’s single!
Seriously this is not normal and it’s not okay for him to treat you this way. This sounds like torture.
Just from reading the title alone. Girl get another boyfriend and break up with this one. Why make this more complicated than what it is???? 😂😂😂 all these men out here—they come in all different colors, flavors, and sizes and you over here crying over this one????
Leave him now. His priorities are all kinds of fucked up and you can’t fix or change him.
He hides the porn he watches?? Maybe it’s gay porn and he’s embarrassed. That many times a day is not ok. Porn addictions are complex and it could take a therapist to help him. You can let his parents know or tell the school counselor to speak with him. If he goes to church maybe let the pastor know
Baby.. you don’t deserve this. He’s literally disgusting. “Addicted” or not you need to leave. Immediately. This man does NOT respect you or care about your needs even a little bit. You deserve better, and you can have that, I promise. Just not from this nasty ass man. Im really sorry, but it’ll be so much better for you to leave him. I know it’s hard, but it’ll be 80000x nicer than being with a man who acts like this. You can do it💛 good luck, sending you so much love💕
That’s awful. Only he can decide when he is ready for change but it’s up to you to draw your boundaries now. That will mean leaving him
I stayed it never got better but I can assure you my mental health got worse. Love yourself more.
This is well and truly an addiction, no normal person needs sex six times/day. And the fact that he won’t let you see what type of porn is pretty terrifying. Run.
Reading OG post I was like “maybe he just needs addiction rehabilitation” and then I read the edits smh
Look at my profile pic
It’s OK not to date someone because you’re not a good fit. Your partner sounds kind of awful.
Having read your edits, wow. That must be really really painful and difficult. I think you know what my advice would be (leave him, girl). But, if it’s still really difficult, it can be helpful to ask yourself what advice you would give to a friend in your situation. It’s really difficult to leave a relationship even if you know it’s not healthy. You care about the person, and you can want to do your best to fix things. But, that only works if the other person wants to change and do better.
Sucks you’re going through this, but just know what it’ll be okay in the end.
Eugh what garbage.
Girl just leave him. Whatever emotional, economic, or social attachments you have to him are not worth it. Just let him die alone.
I agree with the rest of the comments. It’s very clear this person doesn’t respect you. Time to move on.
Someone that into porn is a major turn off for a lot of reasons, imo. Maybe it is for you too.eta: it is already disturbing you
That’s not normal. When my wife and I were dating (mid-1980’s) I didn’t have enough left over energy to masturbate. We were obsessed with each other and stayed that way for decades. Find someone who puts his focus on you instead of fantasy.
You deserve better.
You can’t change him.
He isn’t for you.
LEAVE LEFT GONE.
It’s NEVER changing!
Again, this post??? I search I just read it yesterday somewhere else! Stop stealing posts!
Go back in that room and tell him it’s over and that you’re breaking up with him. he can masturbate till his D falls off and his Bs dry out
Yeah he’s got a porn addiction. He needs to seek help.
Brotha is a Fap Man till the end….till the point it will come off in his hand
If you want to stay with him just have a conversation about how he can’t masturbate when you are around and that you don’t want to hear about it. Let him know that this is something private with himself. And let him know about your needs sexually. I think it can be common to watch porn (men are visual) and some people just have a huge sex drive and he is clearly addicted to the feeling of touching himself. If he can respect your boundaries and take care of your needs sexually and you can accept who he is and there are other qualities you like about him, then I think it could be worth staying with him a while longer and seeing how it goes.
If there is nothing much else to the relationship you could always leave him. You will find someone else. You can always fall in love again it happens to everyone.
No man is ever going to be perfect. Just like you and every other woman in the world has flaws. We have to pick a partner that has similar values to us and whose “flaws” we can accept. My husband knows I pleasure myself sometimes and I know he does too. He doesn’t like porn and really either do I but sometimes I do watch it or sometimes I read erotic stories.
We still have a very healthy sex life, sex with each other at least once a day. My husband is very faithful and doesn’t entertain other girls, if he wants alone time thats fine with me. I don’t tell him when I do it and he doesn’t tell me.
The only time it came up is when I came out of the shower flushed and took a longer shower and he knew what I was doing. lol but all he said was “well it’s going to be my turn to enjoy your body later” and he was kinda turned on by the fact.
Every relationship is different and you know yourself and him best. I’m sure you will make the right decision!
What the heck! I’m saddened by what you are allowing this guy to do to you! Have some boundaries girl and leave that guy in the dust, he’s broken and clearly doesn’t think he needs help. He needs serious and intense therapy to get past that issue and he doesn’t seem like he thinks it’s an issue 🤷♀️
Do you really want to be second fiddle to a screen or worse?
The guy that constantly masturbates is going to masturbate as your punishment. what a terrible trial for him. I’m sure he absolutely wouldn’t have done it otherwise and he’s not just trying to fuck with your head. /s
Honey, you’re being treated as a cumsock for a gooner that has no intention of treating you like a person. Please leave this wretch of a man. you deserve better than this. Even the actual cumsock deserves better than this.
He’s not worth the trouble. Many guys these days are addicted to porn because it’s so widely available. That’s the simplest answer to his addiction. Find someone who cherishes being with you.
I don’t believe a word of it. You posted this story before.
Dump him. Problem solved.
I say this with all the kindness and love in the world, this man is scum. All of my friends have been through shitty relationships, and I’ve been able to see first hand how bad man act. Trust me when I tell you it’s not going to get better.
If he doesn’t change his habits, attitude, and lack of respect towards you and women in general, he’ll never get a long term girlfriend.
He treats you poorly and has no empathy nor common decency towards you. He isn’t worth your time nor energy. You deserve so much better than him. You deserve a person who adores every second with you, and that puts your feelings over their own lust. I promise there are better men out there who will actually give you all the love they have.
Don’t settle for less, and higher your standards. A partner should treat you better than you treat yourself, not worse.
I hope you dump him and he steps on all the Legos.
Please take care of yourself and have a nice day.
(Btw I hope this didn’t sound too strong. I’m very used to giving tough love because my friends have the most horrible taste in partners.)
When I’m in love, I prefer my man to my own hand. Your man would kill my soul.
> and today after the initiated sex from him, like 15 minutes after, he was like: “Can I masturbate?”
I’m wondering if he can even get off from having sex anymore. This can happen a lot with guys who masturbate a lot because they grip their penis too tight. When it comes time to get pleasure from the feeling of P in V sex, the V can’t grip their penis as tight as their hand can, and so they don’t get off because they’re already conditioned to what is called “the death grip”.
Unless he gives up masturbation, he’s going to be ruined for a regular P in V intercourse throughout his entire life. As it is he probably goes soft pretty quickly when intercourse begins because he’s not getting that same type of stimulation.
My advice is to let him know to go ahead and Google the death grip so he can educate himself about how he’s ruining his sexual experience for real life encounters, which means he’ll only have masturbation for his option for the rest of his life. And secondly it does not excuse the way he’s treated you and you need to find someone else who has adult ways of communication and appreciation of their partner.
That would just give the ick so bad I would lose all interest in the relationship.
What is keeping you in this?
He’s showing you exactly who he is. You’re choosing not to recognize that. He has a porn/sex addiction. You can accept this is him or you can leave him.
Just break up with him and find somebody who fight you desirable. Some men have a very high sex drive and doing what they do will not interfere with their relationship between them and your partner. He also is addicted to porn. That’s another problem here just something personal about me. I had a very high sex drive and when I was married to my ex-wife, I could keep my hands off her meaning if I had my way it’d be three times a day seven days a week and I didn’t need porn. The other thing is your boyfriend might have some mental issues. I don’t know, but you do deserve to be treated better. Just the fact he gets angry when you bring this up, tries to make you the villain and him the victim tells me it’s not a very healthy relationship. I will once again say you might want to consider breaking up with him or you could try couples counseling. See if he’s open to that if he isn’t, there’s your signit’s time to leave and break up
Leave him. There are much better men available. They will treat you respectfully. Best wishes.
He sounds tedious and icky. Why are you wasting your time with this dull, grotty man? You can and should do better for yourself than this unseemly turnip. Leave him.
Good gracious with all this masturbation I should think it might even drop off very soon. For heavens sake leave him. This is abnormal and there are many nice guys out there who will want to have proper one to one sex with you without using porn and other nonsense like this. Learn to value yourself more before entering into a new relationship. Work on your feelings of self worth and self confidence before looking for someone else.Basically he has an addiction to porn and needs help.
The secrecy with his phone might get you into trouble. What if is harboring child porn or worse … ?? If he prefers porn to you, let him have his porn, and you can seize the opportunity to move on.
VERY IMPORTANT: do not be confrontational under any circumstances…ANY. If you leave, just move on.
I don’t know your financial and living circumstances situations. If you need to untangle yourself from, for example, a lease, you may need to bide your time and be patient. If you want to leave, plan your departure carefully and tell NOBODY! When the pieces are in place, only then tell him.
Yeah I got to agree with the rest of the people here. Just leave him and walk away
Addiction is difficult to master when not even identified.
Dude needs help with or without you.
Suggest it to him pronto.
What are you still with this person? Leave him, he’s not worth your time find someone ANYONE else
You are sexually incompatible because he’s an addict, dear, and his addiction is also a kink that literally doesn’t include you and never will.
You have somehow internalized this as you being “imperfect” instead of placing the blame entirely on him where it belongs. If he had a fetish for fucking sheep would you blame your body for not being covered in wool? Would you only speak in a Baaaaaah? Ridiculous! Well this whole scenario is ridiculous.
Girl you don’t need to work on your sexiness, you need to work on your emotional backbone and self worth. You can’t do that with a sexual addict as your partner.
Dump his ass and never ever take him BAAAAAAAAAA-CK.
The second edit is so fucked up?? He punished you for breaking down telling him how you feel BY MASTURBATING? Literally leave him. There’s no fixing that👎