I’ll at least try.
I’ve been crashing at my friends house for the last 5 years, I can’t hold down any job, I’m addicted to alcohol, I barely even go outside anymore. I don’t see a way to get myself out of this. I keep lashing out at my friend, using his stuff, using his money. I fucking hate myself and I can’t stop.
I’m leaving him a letter and going to the nearest bridge to jump off.
Update: didn’t kill myself. I got to the bridge, looked down over the railing, maybe heard the sound of a car stopping, though I was kinda preoccupied. Then I felt familiar arms wrap around me and instantly broke down crying. Turns out my friend got off work earlier than I thought, found the letter, and immediately knew where I was. He gently pulled me back to his car and helped me into the passenger seat as I babbled and cried about everything on my mind. I told him about this post and he said I should update. I’m starting to think it might have been a distraction to get me to stop crying, but it worked. I don’t deserve a friend like him. Thank you Jordan.
Edit: We got home and sat on the couch and I immediately fell asleep in Jordan’s arms. I can’t believe the amount of support people have given. Jordan is still asleep next to me as I read through comments. It’s honestly overwhelming and I probably won’t respond to anything unless there’s questions. I’ve been crying but this time out of happiness and gratitude. I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean I do, but you all have given me so much more perspective. I’ve been suicidal since I was a teenager, so it’s easiest for my mind to go back to it. I’m so grateful for everything, especially Jordan. I can’t even imagine how much pain he would have been in if I actually killed myself. We’ve been friends since childhood and he’s helped me out more than I could ever hope for. I don’t want him to burden himself by helping me, but killing myself isn’t the way to do it. He would still carry the emotional pain of our friendship and knowing he couldn’t help me. The only way is to better myself until he doesn’t need to help me. Thank you everyone. I know I won’t get better overnight, but I’ll start. And again, thank you Jordan.
Comments
mate ive just had a breakup idk if the situation i am in is even close to yours but dont unalive yourself we can talk whenever you want to
Please find a support hotline to call or go to the hospital and tell them you don’t feel safe and might harm yourself. Hopefully they can get you started on the right path to stop drinking.
Idk dint do it bro
Try go to therapy and get to rehab
Things may be rough but remember that it’s okay to not be okay
Thats the easy way out man… just because the plants doesnt have flowers doenst mean it never will
No
I know it’s hard, but things can get better. Please don’t hurt yourself. You matter. You deserve a future. Call a hotline or go to the hospital and let someone know you need help. Tomorrow is scary, but there are so many possibilities for you. Think of animals you haven’t pet yet, the delicious food you still haven’t tried, the beautiful, secret places you will get to see. Please hang in there a little longer.
Problems are here the be solved. Please don’t do it. There will come better times. 💯💪🏼
Please hang in there. As out of touch as it might sound, better days are coming. The intensity of what you feel this split second might not and will probably not be how you feel tomorrow or even a bit later into the future. I pray that you find peace and happiness. For now, the best option, in my opinion, would be to call a hotline, open up to your friend and get the help you deserve both for the thoughts and for the alcohol use. At the same time, you might want to try and find a job that does not require much (maybe apply at a Walmart or something), basically anything that will keep you afloat and relieve the stress you feel using your friend’s help. I would also suggest you go for a 15-20 min walk to a park every other day and write down your thoughts, do not oppress them, and try not bottle your feelings in. I know it might sound overwhelming for you at the moment, but I promise you just have to trust the process. I am sending you so much light. You like every other soul, deserve to live.🙏🏼💓
The very fact that you feel bad is why you deserve to survive. You have mental health issues clearly. Better call a hotline. Your friend will not be pleased at your suicide. They will be devastated. You will hurt them forever.
I’m gonna play devils advocate here and nudge you from the other side:
You choosing to jump is a very selfish thing. Your friend has been letting you crash there for 5 whole years and tolerates your moods. Give thought to why for a minute. It’s because your friend hasn’t given up on you. Jumping is a horribly unfixable solution to a temporary problem.
It’s hard to see the light at the end of a tunnel, especially when you’re in so deep. But remember, there’s only one direction to go when you’ve hit rock bottom, and that’s up. You could show your appreciation for your friend being a bro all this time by cleaning up your act and slowly repaying them in ways you feel you owe them. Especially with them in the picture, there’s always someone in your corner rooting for you to sober up because they believe in you. Even when you don’t OP. I suggest a detox, support groups, and therapy. There’s light at the end, but the only way to know it is to see this through.
I believe you can do the right thing just as much as your friend believes you’re so much more than capable to. Wishing you the best on your journey to healing. It won’t happen over night and it will be extremely difficult, but you can overcome it.
[deleted]
Read “think and grow rich” your life will change trust me
Please repay your dear friend (and angel) by getting yourself better.
Im glad your friend was there in time, you are loved, cared for and you got this! please don’t try it again❤️
Suicide isn’t painless when you leave everyone in pain
Hey, after a good 24ish years of alcoholism I finally found my way out. While there’s life there’s hope. Keep working to recover no matter how many times you fail. That is what worked for me. I did programs over and over. Free support groups, therapy, all different kinds of shit, I just kept trying even tho nothing seemed to stick. But actually, it ALL stuck, EVENTUALLY. It just kinda all came together at once.
Don’t listen to any bullshit at all that says you’re statistically hopeless. Don’t even worry about the bridges you burned. The future has bridges to build. Just. Keep. Trying. If you can get out of the addiction, it won’t make your life perfect but it will be so so so much easier. You’re playing on the hardest possible mode right now.
I have been an addict years now, spent 1000s and 1000s on drugs. My parents have bailed my out multiples times. I have been a horrible person to them at times. I have got sober and and relapsed multiple times. But they still let me move back home after a decade of this. I feel so guilty for everything I have done but they still haven’t given up on me. You’re friend still hasn’t given up on you.
I have been sober for two days now. I have deleted every way of getting drugs from my phone. I don’t want to give up on my family because they love me and your friend definitely loves you. Having someone who’s willing to help you even when you are acting terribly will help you massively in trying to sort your life out, there is still so much hope. It will be one of the hardest things you have to do in your life but you can recover from this. Many people have come back from the darkest places. Look at Steve O. Save money for therapy if you have trauma. Guilt is a tool, it serves a purpose. You need to use it to motivate you to change not as an excuse for self destruction. I have realised that now.
Depending on how long you have been drinking for you may need medical help. If you experience physical withdrawals do not go cold turkey, you need to be supervised or taper. I went to see a doctor today and am getting blood tests to access the damage done to my body and am going to go from there.
Jordan is the hero we all need.
Just sent you a DM
I’m glad you’re still here.
Hey pal, I’m a crippling alcoholic! Like, I spent seven years consuming copious amounts of straight vodka and water alone in my bedroom, alcoholism. I dropped out of college with a tonne of debt, I was exceedingly mentally ill, and I put a noose around my neck alone in a rental in October 2019 thinking that it was the only way I could stop being a burden to my loved ones.
Well it’s like six years later and I am almost four years sober. I don’t suffer from mental illness anymore, I do not struggle every day to stay sober (although I do miss alcohol, a lot like people miss their toxic exes, I guess.) Also I’m an engineer with a degree and my own apartment and a happy relationship!!
The only true rock bottom is death. If I’d killed myself in October 2019, I would have drowned my family in a sea of unimaginable grief. The world would have been robbed of all the joy, effort, and spirit that I put forward into it. You are not irreparably broken, you are not stuck where you are forever, you have so much potential for as long as you stick around.
All the voices in your head calling you worthless are just manifested trauma and pain – they have no objective meaning in reality, no ability to see beyond the past and into your future. You have no idea who you will be in five years time. Keep it moving.
Wishing you the best. If you’d like some support in sobriety (should you choose to get sober, I needed a lot of therapy before I could brave the world in this way) the stop drinking subreddit is a lovely place.
I’m so glad you stayed.
Hey op I saw your post just now and wanted to ask you if you can keep us updated? I see that you have a really good friend who wants to help you, hope to see some progress from you doesn’t matter in which way. You can do good luck.
This friend really cares about you, use that love to rise up
Please don’t 🙁
Check yourself into an inpatient program with medi-cal. Sounds like you’d qualify for getting it if you don’t have it yet. You get three months in a rehab and get so many resources then you move to a sober living for another 3 months with even more resources. I’m in the midst of it right now. Alcohol was my choice of drug too and I get to rebuild my life. Glad you’re till here my friend. Keep on keepin’ on ❤️
Wow jordon is 100% true friend. You owe it to him to succeed .. go go win man start winning
I’m gonna be straight up. Stop being weak and feeling bad for yourself and do something! You can get out of this; maybe not alone and it won’t be easy, you need professional help, but everything starts with you, no one else! You can do it.
Your friend did you a huge favor by stopping you from doing a permanent end to a temporary situation. It’s time to repay your friend by doing everything you can to get clean. The best time to get clean was over 5 years ago. The next best time is right now. Don’t try to do it by yourself. You need professional help. Do it now.
Your friend hasn’t given up on you for the past 5 years and you’re going to disrespect him by giving up on yourself?
It’s easy to die for those you love but a lot harder to keep on living for them.
Honour your friend making these sacrifices he’s made for you over the last few years by continuing to try to do better, don’t just give up
The fact that he managed to get off of work early that day is no coincidence. You were saved. I imagine that’s for good reason. You have a lot to give, use it. I believe in you💛
Yo bro! Suicide is a fool’s game. There are people who care about you. Idek you and yet I care for you up to a certain degree. I’m sorry life’s been rough to you, but i have faith that you’ll get better
Thank you, Jordan.
Jordan the MVP.
I’m saying this to be helpful. Every problem you listed is very fixable. At some point you have to start taking some kind of ownership and start fixing things. Maybe you need rehab or something but what ever it is, quit bitching and just do it.
Happy you are here. Stay here, shit is hard, but find something nice to do, go see a movie, buy a boardgame to play with your friend, he deserves it.
Its selfish to take your own life. Everyone in your life loves you. Dont live just for yourself do it for your friends and family.
I don’t know you, but I’m so happy to see you are still here. Stay strong
We love you. It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to want the hurting to stop. You are not selfish, you are human. We all are. Wanting relief is not a failure of strength or character.
Your nervous system, your brain, your body — they are begging for rest, for peace, not disappearance. And you deserve that peace. Not the kind that ends life — the kind that makes life livable again.
What you are feeling right now doesn’t mean you don’t want life. It means you don’t want pain.
It means you don’t want this kind of life — this level of unbearable hurting — to be all there is.
Every second you breathe, every step you make to survive, is a testament to your strength. We see how hard you are fighting for life. You came down from the ledge, which is the hardest and most painful decision you can make. And we are cheering you on with every breath you take.
You are human. We make mistakes. We hurt the people we love. And thats okay, it’s part of being human. We break and we heal, we wilt and we grow.
I cant promise that things will get better, but I can promise you this:
You are worth saving.
You are worth gentleness.
You are worth tomorrow.
https://988lifeline.org/
Thank you for deciding to stay & giving yourself another chance. 🤍
The world is a better place with you in it. Bless you and Jordan.
Stick around for a bit OP, the journey never stops ❤️
We love you!!
love you✌️
Just want to validate the pain you’re in, it doesn’t always get better and it’s not selfish being in a place after so long feeling so desperate for the pain to stop. Not everyone has been there, but I understand, and so do others that have.
That being said, I’m so glad you’re still here, and really do hope you can find the right supports to heal and feel some joy and hope again 🖤
im struggling
You totally deserve a friend like him
Try /stopdrinking
Nicest place in the internet- helped me! 5 yrs sober
Good luck friend
Hey homie I’m down to catch an online AA meeting if you need support!
I’m writing this from my friend’s basement. I’m going through a divorce that isn’t fun and it’s mostly my own doing. It’s not easy to rely on others, but people really do want to help. Let them. They’d rather help than deal with a lifetime of knowing you are gone. Seek help. It’s not too late.
Thank you Jordan!!!
ugh i’m gonna cry at work lmao. i’m so glad you have Jordan and he wouldn’t be there for you if you didn’t deserve it. you do deserve to be here. i know it’s hard to stop lashing but losing a friend like Jordan is not worth it so i know you’ll try to work on that. you got this
I have a perspective on the situation that maybe might help you feel a little better? I’ve tolerated allot of shitty behaviour over the course of my life from various horrible individuals but I have a baseline experience mostly due to my mother of being able to regocnises when a human being is beyond redemption of any kind and of the people I’ve met the mad the bad and the sad those that are kinda toxic and some severely dangerous indiviuals I’ve been able to suss out the roots of their behaviours from a traumatized hypervigelent standpoint and I can tell you that if your friend went so far as too pull you back from the edge and has tolerated your behaviour so far wheich mostly stems from addiction ( which is no one’s fault espicallly alcoholism the most dangerous and accessible addiction in society this isent my perspective by the way Ive gleaned this understanding from addicts who have compared expeincience of being coke heads meth heads and even former heroin addicts and the consensus most reached that ALCOHOLISM was the worst and most degnerative addiction they experienced)
That your friend likely sees something within you worth pulling back from the edge.
If your were truly a horrible person beyond redemption then the cut off point would likely have come sooner if ever and please take your friends faith in you as being worth something he’s seen you up close for five years and still has gone out of his way to help you in the ways he knows how. And you likely add something to his life as well you have someone in the world that cares for you take it as a sign and keep putting one foot in front of the other your guilt is the proof your a good person if you can take the steps needed to move forward. His faith in you is worth something.
Thank you Jordan.
Hey, friend — /you/ feel like a burden to Jordan, but it’s clear that Jordan doesn’t see you that way. He went out to find you, to literally pull you back from the edge. You wanted to save Jordan from yourself, but that takes /his/ choice away. And he chooses /you/. Metaphorical warts and all. He sees your life as worth saving; now it’s your turn to take the steps to continue to save yourself.
Maybe you feel like you don’t deserve his friendship right now. Harness that. Use that as motivation to get things back on track. Lean on him. Embrace his friendship, his generosity, his brotherly love. Figure out how to show him how much you appreciate what he’s done for you. And take this second chance in both hands.
Right now, let yourself come down from your heightened state, and take a moment to breathe. You may have more than one breakdown; that’s okay. Be open and honest with Jordan and where you are, emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. Where do you want to go from here? And how do you get there? Those are questions to truly ponder later, but keep them in the back of your mind. You may not be able to take this journey alone, but you don’t have to.
You have my well wishes, from one survivor to another.
Wish I had a friend like that
I’m glad you’re still here!
I’m so glad you are still here 💓 ❤️ 💕
Suicide might be the end for you but it’s a disease you spread to everyone else who cares about you. Do not release your pain by spreading it to everyone you care about. Instead, find a way to overcome it to truly honor them
You absolutely deserve a friend like Jordan, and I’m so glad he found you. We need you here, buddy. I’m so glad you stayed. 🫶
I’m so happy you’re here with us!
your phase is… a phase. it’ll end someday, given effort and will to do things differently.
everyone has a specific time to do things; hurry not and, one step at a time, go further from self harm
Hi there, very glad you are still here! So sorry for everything you are going through in your life currently. All i can say is you are still here for a reason and Jordan getting off work earlier than usual and finding your letter, knowing exactly where you would be, and making it to you in the time he did is no coincidence. I just discovered a new artist recently and I feel like you should give this song a listen. ”Hi Ren” by Ren. I hope you find solace in this song and keep on trying and never give up. I love you.
Man this hit home for me. I’ve been thinking of suicide a lot as of lately and I think the only reason I haven’t attempted it yet is because of my 2yr old son. If he wasn’t here I would of walked in front of a bus by now. I can’t afford therapy or even a mental breakdown right now I’m so poor. My brother girlfriend think I still have lingering postpartum, but idk. I’m just super depressed all the time and finding it really hard to find a reason not to besides my son and some days can be overwhelming even with him. I’m so unhappy
How beautiful
I’ve just seen this post for the first time, which includes the update and what a relief to know you didn’t go through with it. There is light at the end of the tunnel, you’ve got this. I’m sending you huge internet hugs and positive vibes. And big love to Jordan!!!
You do deserve a friend like him. Who knows, Jordan may need you just as much as you need him. He obviously cares about you a lot and believes you’re worthy of his friendship & a life. Make the very best of it. I wish you nothing but the best.
You have an amazing friend! Now the tough part is you got to quit drinking. Go to rehab for the withdrawals. Most of the negative things in your head is from alcohol talking. It really can mess you up mentally. Next go to AA and get therapy when you can or even vent to your friend if you can’t afford. Get through that and you most likely will rebound in life.
Don’t give up man. Do it for your friend. You can pay him back by working hard on yourself and not letting him down. If you feel bad by being a burden at his place, just try to be a good room mate by cleaning up the place, doing chores, the basic minimum things that a friend would do. 5 years is not forever, it sounds like you are still young. You can get out of this.
of course you deserve a friend like Jordan💗i hope things get better
Get help big dog. Let this be the moment.
You can do it. Everyone has struggles, nothing embarrassing about nothing.
💪🏼
So glad you are still here, and that Jordan was there for you. Please reach out and get help – you matter, and we need you.
Glad you’re still here!
Glad you’re still here !
i wish i could too
🥹💔🙏🏽Praying for you. Take it one day at a time. Jordan is a good friend!
The way to get yourself out of this and to stop feeling like this is to remove the alcohol from your life and to focus on healing the parts of yourself that make you drink. I have been there. Many of us have. There is actually a way out. It can and does get better <3
This isn’t an airport. You don’t need to announce your departure
I’m so glad you’re staying. Please know you’re not alone and so many of us fight to stay here daily. But I’m so glad to see you stayed.
Jordan had got you, lean on him ❤️ we’re all glad you’re still here!
Jordan is a great friend. He thinks you are worth it. You just need to believe him. ❤️
Get some help. I think you are ready. You have identified the challenges you face which is a massive step. Now you can take the next one.
👣👣
Try to use this a lesson in the future. It’s not worth it. The people around you love you and you can always turn things around.
Hey there internet stranger, I’m glad you’re still here with us.
you are strong man keep it going and thanks Jordan
Please don’t it’s not worth it at all
Always know that there are better days ahead but you have to put in the work to get there. Someone needs you in the future don’t take that away from them as you may be the friend that stops another from doing something like you wanted to do. All I’m saying is there is a future for you and someone needs you
i’m so glad you stayed and that your friend was there for you. you are loved! i hope everything gets better for you.
Nothing but 🩷
Your friend in the midst of all that said you should update Reddit. Come on now 🤦🏻♂️
GOLDEN STAR TO JORDAN. THATS AN MVP FRIEND AND COMPLETELY TRUE!!!!! ❤️
Think about how many people you’re gonna be able to help when you get sober. I don’t have an issue with alcohol, but my best friend has been sober 3 years and helps so many.
Hey mate,
Please, see the love around you, at least your friend’s love.
My dad was a coke addict. He lived off my brother for 5 years, then lived off his sister. He managed to stay clean for a few months. But then he fell back again.
2 weeks later, we found him in the river.
It’s been a week now and it’s hard. He couldn’t see what he had to give him, even at his worse. Please keep going, at least for Jordan.
🤍
Glad you are here
We’re all glad you stayed, I wish you the best friend.
This is the best day of your life, and mine! Friends are beautiful 💜 Welcome back ❤️
God I’m so glad he got you in time, sending you love and strength
I’m glad you stayed on this side of the dirt. I promise it can get better. You are likely very depressed, which is leading to substance use, and the nasty cycle just keeps repeating.
Look at that dude, you are so loved!
All my homies fw Jordan. Glad you’re still here friend.
Everyone should have a Jordan in his or her life!
Btw this might sound stupid but the things given, it´s not your time to go, there´s something that wants you to live and you should definitely keep on living! Try to get a job that suits your skills, in the “worst” case just find a hobby that might could also make you some bucks. Try streaming or tbh after reading your story, write a book (or diary), sounds like you´re meant for more than just dying!!!
Look into AA. It may help you.
it will get better you’re meant to be here even jordan knows it may god bless you both on this journey
For OP and anyone reading:
When we hit rock bottom, our brain often lies to us and tells us there is logically no way out. We feel as though we’re the only one suffering and convince ourselves that other people around us are doing great. I’ve been there and I’ve helped other people out of there.
That single first step to changing your life and changing your habits will be the start of you becoming a different person. Just do one thing, every day, that could push you forward. Teach yourself resilience. Connect with people again. Understand how mental illness tricks your brain. The bad news is the journey may not be quick, but the good news is the journey is often times quite enjoyable. You learn so much about yourself. You try new things. Try new medications. Meet new people who are suffering too. And you never truly get that “aha” moment, you just wake up one day and realize that you actually feel good and want to be here.
Start thinking about your life in that suicide is not an option. You have to try everything to get better before you think about that. And if you have, try even more. You can do hard things. I did, others have. Stop letting your brain tell yourself “well I’m different, it’ll never get better”. It absolutely will. I believe in you.
You clearly do deserve Jordan. You’ve got this. You’re gonna be ok 🫂
Happy you’re still here. One powerful quote that I think of in times like this is “Suicide doesnt take away the pain, it just passes it on to those who love you”. I hope you manage to find strength to reboot and carry on
Go to a meeting man. Find an AA meeting near you and go. It’ll change your life
Hard ass kicking workouts. Multiple times a day if needed. Go do 50 burpees everytime you’re depressed
glad you’re here, dear. you will look back on this moment someday and feel glad you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps 💜
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Wow this seems straight out of a movie, I’m glad Jordan was there to save you.. you have the ability to pull yourself out of this. Won’t be easy, but it will be worth it
I found this post on my page with the tag of 12 hours ago and my heart practically dropped. I don’t know you, but reading through your post and seeing that Jordan found your note and immediately went into action is incredible. I’m glad you’re still alive. I don’t expect you to respond to this. I only want to wish you the best of luck, my guy.
I truly hope you start to feel better. There are a lot of beautiful responses here and they are all for you. You do have people that care, strangers all the way down to your friend who pulled you from the side of a bridge. Him showing up just at the right moment was not a coincidence. You got this.
I’m so glad you’re still here, found this post late and rushed hoping for an update that you’re with us!!!!!!!
Jordan always comes in clutch. GOAT things
Just hugs
Nah chill bro
Thank you Jordan! We are all glad you are still here and Jordan was your guardian angel
Jordan is a real G! Flags for Jordan! 🇯🇴🇯🇴🇯🇴
I’d take an hour or two and just walk around where you live. Just be outside and bask in nature and the neighborhood. It sounds corny, but just try it. Go for a long walk.
I know others have given their permission to talk, but I’m here too. I have an open ear. I think it’ll help to talk to anyone. If you can’t talk to Jordan, you really should talk to someone. Anyone.
Got a Jordan in my friend group, and can Confirm, 100% gold standard great freaking guy.
I’m so happy you’re still here 💗 asking for help can be the hardest thing we do, but it’s the bravest thing too. We can’t do life alone, and you are clearly loved – by Jordan, by random strangers on the internet who are thrilled you’re still with us. Keep asking for help, keep getting back up. Sobriety helped me with suicidal thoughts so much; I hope you can find the peace you deserve.
My friend went thru the same thing and wound up at AA and has been sober for 26 years now. With AA and help with his mental health issues he’s having the life most only dream about. And that’s all I have say about that.
My father is a former alcoholic who was homeless for about a year before he decided to go to NA and get better. he did. he is a wonderful husband and father now who is also very successful in business and has helped so many of his friends and family escape addiction. It gets better if you try.
First problem is booze. You’re not going to solve it alone. It’s amazing though. Once you know that you have a solution for that problem everything else gets easier. There are people in your town who can help you. If you need help getting to them reach out. There are many of us out here who have been where you are and are now living joyful and contented lives.
As someone who actively wants to die rn.. I’m glad you didn’t 😭
Jarvis, get me some karma
Wow, as someone who’s also struggling with my mental health, I didn’t expect the turn. Holding out for you, my man.
Good luck bro
Hell yes Op, and hell yes Jordan <3
Really glad you’re still here, bro. Jordan’s a solid dude.
Ok! Good luck!
Insane stuff people write for imaginary reddit karma.
This post sounds fake as fuck lol
“Jarvis, I’m low on karma”
Jarvis, I’m low on karma
There are way too many assholes I want to outlive in this world to seriously consider offing myself.
Thanks for sticking around. Let’s outlive the assholes.
My darkest time was when I was deep into alcohol. Not like a lot of stories I’ve heard but around 1/2 litre of vodka a night.
Getting out of that spiral helped me stop thinking suicide was the only way out.
I’m not completely sober I still drink a couple of cans of beer a day but holy shit did spirits murder my mind.
Stay strong and try to get help with the alcohol addiction. Start taking Vitamin B1 (thiamine) as it can help your brain recover from the damage the alcohol has done. I say this because when I finally went into mental health services the first thing they did was put me on thiamine and the therapy helped me stop drinking the way I was.
Bro, I’m glad you’re still here.
I lost a friend to these same thoughts you wrote down. I’d known him since the 4th grade. He never shared how bad it was. I’m glad you now have someone in your life that knows how bad is because you need that.
I’m so glad you are still with us!!!!!! You have the whole world ahead of you buddy, and I know there are people in your life that care and love you just like Jordan does. You DO deserve a friend like him, just as he deserves a friend like you. OP I hope you have the absolute best fresh start tomorrow with a new outlook!
I’m glad you are still here. Kudos for Jordan being there for you. ❤️
Can you take suboxen? I felt the same way as you do last year I was addicted to fentanyl. I was spending $70 a day and all I did was live fir drugs. I could not see a way out. Now I’m a year clean. You can’t imdgine how differht your life will be if you just stop now. I promise you that
Please don’t do it, Ive sat with hundreds of suicidal patients as a cna, they always regret it. Spiritually you will hold yourself back with the guilt . I spend time contacting spirits , and everyone of them regrets going out that way and will beg for help. It’s so scary, please don’t be like those poor souls
I am so so so thankful your friend stepped in and was able to help you.
I’ve never attempted suicide, but I’m no stranger to self-harm in various forms and suicidal ideation. It’s awful.
I don’t know you but I’m so grateful you’re still here. I know how much it sucks to feel stuck/trapped in life by various circumstances, it’s so difficult to keep going.
One day at a time, friend.
I want you to stay.
May you feel love and comfort and peace soon.
I’m proud of you for accepting your friend’s help and sticking around longer than you anticipated. Keep going. Life is shitty for tons of people and I fully understand it’s hard for a lot of people to keep living.
But you did it today, and I believe you can do it again tomorrow. You did the hard thing – you survived – and I believe you can do it again.
Sending you tons of love.
I’m glad you’re still here. 🫶🏻
Im diagnosed with bipolar and depression, ive attempted atleast 5 times, gone to thearpy, talked to friends. Thing is i was crying out for someone to help me, ive told ppl i was going to end myself and they left me because they thought i didnt want to help myself. Met my current partner and they figured out it was a cry for help. He has helped me get out of the deep dark pit i was in. I have hated myself for even thinking i didnt have anyone around me that actually cared because i pushed everyone away at the time. Op i know its a struggle each day. Talk with ur friend about ur problems and see if you can get into thearpy. You should try it. Ive herd wonders about edm therapists helping out with trauma, but i dont know if u have any trauma you beed to work through. I can relate to you in different ways and im glad you have a friend that you can lean on. I hope you find the light again op. It can get quite dark down in the pit.
I’m so glad you are here with us
Jarvis, I’m low on karma
Hey I’m so proud of you for staying. I quit alcohol to support my partner who was on his way to killing himself with his problem. It’s one of the hardest decisions you will make but if you do pick sobriety it’s worth it.
I have been sober for 5 years now, can send you to some different Reddit’s for help if you would like or if you have concerns with what alcohol withdrawal looks like.
I’m so proud of you. Thank you for being here.
Please don’t
Hey man, I just moved away from the best friends I’ve ever known and I’ve been having a hard time. Friends are everything, honestly. Love and connection is what matters in this world. I’m so happy you are loved. I’m so happy you are here.
Your story has oddly inspired me, sorry for your struggles, let’s all try and stay strong
Im so glad you’re still here
Wow. What a powerful statement. I am so glad Jordan got to you. Know that you are loved. Help is there for you not just from Jordan. Ask around, people will help. Not everyone will but You just need to find the helpers.
Suicide may seem like the way out but there are so many rewards to sticking around and working towards better days. And think about the grief and pain that you spared for your loved ones.
Best wishes to a bright future for you.
There’s hope. Honestly, try God
It’s easy from the outside looking in to think that suicide is chosen because it’s the “easy way out”. It’s definitely something that hurts a lot of those around you, but when you’re in a bad enough place to consider it, it feels like the opposite. It feels like not just a release for yourself, but a release for those you feel like you are wronging or would be better off without you. It feels like the only logical option.
I know these things because I’ve lived them too, in my own way, just with emotional and verbal abuse in my marriage instead of substance abuse. Still came to the same conclusions, i.e. can’t do this anymore, I’m an awful dad, awful husband, etc. I failed too, and am glad I did.
I’m glad you’re still here and hope that the clarity you have gained from this experience leads you in a direction that brings you the peace you deserve.
Damn these practice essays are getting crazy.
Im glad you’ve lived another day friend
You are very lucky to have Jordan. Please show him that you appreciate him. He’s done soo much for you and he might want to hear that he’s appreciated. He might be fighting his own battles.
sending much love to you. i know its not much, but know many strangers including myself are thinking of you.
I’m happy he found you and stopped you from going over the edge. I have been having a very rough depressive episode the last 6 months and it’s been very difficult finding the will to live every day. The only thing keeping me going is my pregnant wife. I have attempted twice in the past, but the thought of leaving my baby girl alone with a grieving mother makes that final step impossible.
You can get through this, it’ll be hard just getting out of bed, but something as simple as sitting in a park on a nice day can help. The most important step someone can take is not the first, it’s the next.
Remember that alcohol is not the problem, just a solution to a problem you can always solve.
“JORDAN WITH THE SLAM!”
Make Jordan proud, bro. He literally saved your life. That’s how you pay him back.
I know I’m just a stranger but I am insanely happy you are still here(!!!!), so I can’t imagine how relieved and overjoyed Jordan is.
I hope this is your rock bottom that shocks you into realizing how much you are worth and loved and a part of this world, and how capable and strong you really are. I know it’ll be hard to feel/remember that but the more you do the easier it becomes
Try to think of this event as the closing chapter on the negative time in your life and you’re starting your positive one now. You will always have support and people there for you, just make sure to appreciate them and not be afraid to ask for help, because they love you and want the best for you, so you should too🤍
I know being/staying positive is so so hard, but every time you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself/someone/something/a situation, make yourself say two positive things about it, I promise it helps(:
Ex:
Negative: “the weather is shitty and bringing me down”
Positives: “the earth is getting watered and it’s going to make all the plants/animals/life so happier and healthier” “spring rains means summer is coming”
Negative: “I look fat and ugly”
Positives: “my friends/family love me for what’s inside and don’t give a shit what I look like not do I them, so why should I to myself?” “I am healthy enough to have some chub, that’s a blessing many don’t know”
Negative: “I am an awful person who doesn’t deserve love or happiness and shouldn’t bother anyone with my feelings”
Positives: “the people I love and respect very much, also love and respect me, and I respect their their opinions above anyone else’s, so therefore I should love/respect myself a bit more” “if the people I loved felt that way, I’d want nothing more for them to tell me so I can reassure them and make them feel needed because they are, and they would want the same for me”
-A random person who’s in your corner rooting for you