Need to get this off my chest. So one of my close friend got married recently which I am really happy about them. She got married with my BF’s brother. It’s now making me a bit jealous and frustrated that they get to spend their time together, hopefully forever! I want that too. I want to spend my lifetime with my BF but I don’t know when he’s going to propose to me or if he plans to. We have discussed marriage and kids which we are on the same page. We’ve been together for almost 7 years. We each have good relationship with both of our parents and everything’s good. I don’t really like rushing people but I’m pushing 30 and not getting any younger. Sometimes it’s making me feel hurt and I overthink that what if I’m not marriage worthy? Or is he having second thoughts and doesn’t want to commit. It’s just making me a bit frustrated just waiting around.
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This is really tough, id try and have a very casual conversation with your dude about it. Dont bring up his brother or anyone else getting married. Only talk about yourself, “what does the next few years look like for us?” “I think I’d like to be married by 30/35 whatever” a convo can’t hurt and if it does then you’ll know he wasn’t the one to marry anyway
cuz when the lights are off, i see the stars asleep, but i can hear you my love, calling from the abyss. and when we are worlds apart, the aeon means the world to me, if you call, i will rise, i will answer.
cuz when the lights are off, i see the stars asleep, but i can hear you my love, calling from the abyss. and when we are worlds apart, the aeon means the world to me, if you call, i will rise, my lover.
What’s stopping you from proposing?
Have you tried asking him? If you can’t have this conversation with him, you’re not ready to be married. If you have had this conversation and he keeps moving the goalposts, he doesn’t want to marry you. Which is it?
Have you talked to him to see if marrying you is in his long-term plans too?
You have talked about marriage and kids, so talk about it again since it sounds like he is giving you lip service. Don’t say you are giving a deadline/ultimatum, but it feels like he is stringing you along and hoping you eventually forget about wanting to get married. Hear what he says and ask yourself if that is acceptable.
Here is some advice that i hope you’ll carry with you into your (hopefully) married life: talk. To. Him. He can’t read your mind. Until you are comfortable having difficult conversations with him, it’s a premature decision
When you have your conversations about being on the same page, do you discuss timelines??? If not it’s time to bring that into question.
7 years is a long time to wait for a ring but if you’re still under 30 that means y’all met very young so def have that conversation before jumping to any conclusions.
why do we want to ruin a good thing by getting married – your boyfriend
Sounds like me. I got the ultimatum. Propose within 6 months or we are done
Marriage is a contract between two people. I know de beers has tried to make it into a big show of love, but it isn’t.
Bigger weddings are correlated with higher divorce rates, and outside of the wedding and how you are legally entwined, nothing changes after you get married.
Seeing as marriage is a contract, what are you bringing to the marriage pot? Do you have more assets or a higher paying job than your bf? Do you or he have debts or health insurance plans that may be better? Will one of you likely have a much higher income in the future? Does one of you struggle staying on top of filing your taxes and bills? Does one of you own a business?
Why do you have to wait for a proposal? Sit down and talk about whether now is a good time to get married or not, and if you both think it is then congrats, youre engaged!
If he’s hesitant, then you need to work out why or break up.
But the whole ‘waiting to be surprised by a proposal’ thing is out of date imho. Decide on it like equal partners.
Why can’t you and your bf be together but not married? You have to understand that from his perspective there’s nothing he gets from marriage that he doesn’t get from a gf. There’s nothing in it for him.
Have you considered talking to him? I talked with my partner about marriage like 3 months in
If he hasn’t proposed after 7 years he doesn’t want to marry you. Move on before you waste your life
Yikes. After 7 years he’s comfortable. Your bf likely feels that nothing will change after marriage so what’s the point. If you’ve been playing the wife role without being a wife—this is going to be a hard push.
If you’re ready for marriage you need to set that expectation now. Be prepared for the “what’s the point” or “not now” push back.