I’m not talking about little white lies (though there have been plenty of those too). I’m talking about grave, big lies that quite literally change how people view me in every sense. And if I ever came clean, I am absolutely positive that I would lose everything. But I don’t know how to stop. And honestly? I don’t even know what’s true and what’s a lie anymore in some cases. I’m even too embarrassed to say some of the “big lies” on an anonymous app in fear that someone, somehow, might be able to find out who I am and out me.
Comments
Would love to offer some advice, but more context is needed.
Well now ya gotta tell us
I mean people’s advice would be wildly different if the lie was like I’m 35 but I tell people I’m 30 vs something like I have a secret family in another city.
You have to tell no one will know
Let the lies die out and slowly start coming to reality if anyone questions you gas light them to believe you
We gotta know the lie before we can tell you if you’re overreacting or if you’re truly toast.
Can you live without these lies or do you have to either come clean or continue lying? If you can live without the lies just wake up tomorrow morning and stop. If you can’t, then you should probably come clean because you’re likely just postponing the inevitable.
Keep lying. Make it bigger and more convoluted. Then do an update when it all comes crashing down in terrible flames so we, the Reddit, can read it and say “ooooooh snap!” And feel all the things before moving on to the next crazy story.
We can’t really give advice without knowing what the lie is
Sounds like something to discuss with a therapist tbh if you’re not comfortable disclosing here
You have to come clean or it’s going to completely destroy you from the inside out and end up crumbling down in the end anyway because it isn’t based on truth… You know what’s right, you are just.. afraid to do what’s right. Maybe due to how you’ve treated people in the past, you’re afraid they won’t show you mercy. I would honestly seek support at a catholic church. You can talk to a pastor in confession who is bound by god’s law to keep the conversation between you and him. He can figure out with you and strategize a plan of action to help save yourself in this situation. He will help you resolve guilt and fix your relationships in the most healing possible way, while not necessarily bringing down the entire structure. Catholic church.
Counseling.
This could be me writing this. Unless it could cause someone harm, keep quiet.
You are not alone. ❤️
It’s ok your family friends even husband/wife who ever it is if they love you they will still love you no matter what coming clean is the best thing to do
If telling the truth will make you lose everything, and continuing to lie is unbearable, then take time to prepare for the inevitable losses to ensure when you come clean. Stash money, rent a storage unit, lawyer up, get a second passport, etc. Loss may be inevitable, but take honest steps to prepare for life as an honest person with a newly cleaned slate.
Maybe instead of telling us the specific lies, you can tell us the gist of them.
Like are you really a slob, a janitor telling everyone you’re rich, live in a mansion, drive expensive cars, abandoned kids
Same ! Certain people in my life can never meet lol didn’t want people to know I cancelled a wedding soooooo…….
Therapy or psychiatry maybe to get to the root of the issue and figure out how to stop. It’s hard for us to comment without much context
Can you make a new, throw away account and divulge? Advice varies widely between “this is my third schmurder, am I a cereal killer?” And “I’ve had am affair”. More context needed pls
First thing first – honest can hurt but it only hurts once – lies hurts over and over – second it’s hard to give advice if we don’t at least have a vague description but maybe seeking out professional help from someone who has to remain confident will help a lot. I’ve been there honestly. I was an addict and had to lie to survive but once I was honest – I mean a lot changed that I didn’t want to BUT after a lot of come to Jesus and a lot of time and work to regain trust I’m back with most of those I hurt. Good luck 💕
Can you imagine how well you’d feel waking up knowing you no longer have to keep track of all the lies. My memory is just not that great. Best wishes to you, but if you do decide to tell them, be sure to fill us in here.
The lie is living you…so don’t feel bad. The lie doesn’t
Not really a confession
So like is your career a lie? Your sexuality? You have a secret family kind-of thing going on? Addiction issues? Is it your religion? All of the above? Get us in the ballpark at least.
Just one? I’m living like 20. The old George Costanza.
Therapy can help if you really want to stop and you can come clean .. it didn’t happen overnight so you may need to have a sit down and explain the truth but slowly and with help from a professional. My friend was a habitual lier.
The only thing that was weird to me (besides the constant lies ) was a lot of time it was an auto response to lie over things that were so little so petite .
Talk to an attorney .
I think I understand where you’re coming from…. Maybe some of our lies are similar and others likely not.
All that I can say is that I’ve lived a fairly long life built upon many lies. It is too heavy of a burden. It has made life unsatisfying and unfulfilled. Mental health is just shit. Wears you down until as you say sometimes we don’t know lie from truth.
Unless it means a potentially long term punishment for you, just let it out. let whatever happens happen, take a deep breath and then see it as the slate is wiped clean and you have a chance to start a new.
They might already know depending upon what it is.
Dying to know
A confession is any acknowledgment of guilt, fault, or mistake. In a religious setting it’s to help prove repentance and gain forgiveness. In law it’s a statement given by someone accused of a crime which acknowledges guilt of said accusation. In general, it’s an admission of a mistake or fault.
This being an “anonymous” public forum, most are wanting some sort of feedback. Whether it be to help avoid having to confess in your personal life, advice on how to navigate a confession conversation, or to get a feel for public opinion on one’s “wrong doing”. Another option, is to simply help relieve stress and anxiety by just putting it out there, which I get, but you probably won’t benefit much more then the initial stress relief due to it being hard for us all to engage with such a vague confession. As you can imagine, it’s a vastly large subject with many different “degrees” to which everyone views differently…
Are we talking, lied about my background, age, religion etc. to get the one I want kind of lies?
Or
Married with house and kids, but also gay with a bf/gf, apartment and a dog kind of lies?
Or like..
Fronting as a surgeon for a nonprofit when I really have no idea what I’m doing kind of lies??
Or maybe it’s..
Volunteered to be caretaker for Grandma so I could covertly make myself her sole beneficiary and accidentally give her too much medicine kind of lies..
It could be SOOO many things that without any specifics or defining factors we couldn’t possibly know what to say.
I’m right there with ya.
I tell people I’m 6’ when I’m really 5’11.
Remember, it’s not lie if you believe it. 🤫
Are you having a gay affair ? Because then your problem is that you live in dishonesty. Be honest with who you are and things will change for the better. It takes time, but it gets better.
How do I know any of that is true?