First and foremost, I want to thank everyone that took the time to comment on my two previous posts. I did not expect such an outpouring of support and advice from so many people. Reading all the comments really put things into perspective for me and help me to confirm things that I have already been feeling for such a long time.
I had a conversation with my son earlier after my fiancé left for work, and asked him to be completely honest with me about how he feels about my fiancé and how he treats him. He made it clear that my fiancé is mean to him sometimes and he doesn’t want us to get married. My son wants it to be just me and him.
Currently, I am depending on my fiancé financially but I already have a few interviews lined up this week to change that.
Thankfully, our bank accounts and bills are separate so I don’t have to worry about splitting or removing myself from any of his accounts or bills. The only thing we share currently is our apartment.
My plan is to build some financial security for myself and my child so that we can move out and be on our own.
A lot of you have suggested that I suck it up and go back home with my parents. While that does seem like the most practical thing to do right now, I was subject to a lot of mental and emotional abuse and manipulation from my parents, more specifically my mother, in my childhood. And while they’re different with my son and very loving and accepting of him, my mother has made it clear that she and I cannot live together. I have considered having my son just stay with my mother, and I can go to a women’s shelter, but I really just don’t want to be separated from my son. I also don’t wanna subject him to a homeless shelter. Any suggestions here?
Are there any other resources in NJ that could help in the sort of situation?
Comments
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Be very careful who you tell about your plan. Mine got derailed completely by accident
Your best bet is to have a longer term exit strategy. Work your ass off and save as much money as you possibly can. Work two jobs. I realize you don’t want to be separated from your child, but it will be easier to work long hours if he’s with your mom and you don’t have to worry about child care. You can focus solely on earning enough for the security deposit on your own place for you and your child.
Good luck, but…
Why is he still your “fiancé”?
What is your timeline to “build some financial security” so you can move out? 1 month? 3 months? End of year? Unsure at this time?
Do you have a backup plan in case you don’t find a job or financial security?
Fake it till you make it out of there. Tell your son not to mention this at ALL to anyone or to your fiancé. Are you on the lease?