Everytime I look at my reflection or even think about myself, I feel disgusted. I don’t find myself attractive, not even pretty. I’m taking care of myself (style, hair, diet, skin care etc) but still I have nothing of value in me. In public, people don’t look at me or they say something not very nice to hear. It only proves I’m nothing special.
I’m dealing with self-loathing and depression, all caused by society. At least I’m self-aware. I can’t stand my face and height. It’s hard for me to imagine someone would be into me. No one has been and will never be.
Maybe I’ll feel good with myself after surgeries. I really need it. Just need money for it. I wanna be attractive, beautiful and desirable, at least to myself. But I’m not. I have to deal with looking like a plain potato ogre. I hate everything about myself.