Idk what to do with all these thoughts but it has been bothering me for years so someone please help me get over this
(Im kinda tired and English is not my 1st language so here may be some mistakes)
Im not trans but I wish I was born a guy sometimes. I feel like life would be easier and better. But like, im not trans, idw2 change my gender, im fine being a girl and idw2 transition but I just wish I was born a dude..
Ngl honestly I don’t even know why I want it.. it just feels like it would be better
Sometimes I hate being a girl, it sucks so bad.. all the negative attention and all the pressure to look good, I just hate it. And don’t get me wrong, ik guys have their own issues aswell and shit but I feel like my life would be so much better if I wasn’t a girl.. I hate painting my nails and if I was a boy my parents wouldn’t push me to do it, and they wouldn’t shit talk me when I don’t wear dresses and stuff like that all the time
Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror my face doesn’t really look feminine to me.. it seems like sth is wrong with it and idk what, it feels so weird looking at myself. I feel like my body doesn’t look ‘fem’ enough even if I am a girl and I hate it and its not bc of the clothes I wear. No matter what I wear its just not it.
Sometimes I can’t even look at myself in the mirror properly I just hate it
Ive never really told this to anyone and ive been feeling like this for years. I don’t know what to really do with this..
Any advice to making these feelings dissappear? How do I get over this
Comments
hi! so understand that even if you were born a man, you’d have just as many societal expectations put on you. maybe your parents wouldn’t pressure you to paint your nails but they’d pressure you in other ways.
guys have pressure to be tall, muscular, stoic. it wouldn’t be better hon.
it sounds like you’re unhappy with your appearance. you don’t have to paint your nails or have curves or wear dresses to be a woman. you don’t have to be a feminine woman. many women choose more masculine presentations or don’t wear dresses or paint their nails. and it doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
you just have to find your personal style. find a haircut you like, find a style of clothing you like, it’s out there. take care of your body and mind and you’ll find self love. you got this.
You sound like you were raised with a lot of negative feelings surrounding femininity. What to wear, how to act, how to look; that’s not what being a girl is about. That’s sexism. Men don’t deal with the same beauty/societal standards women do (though they do deal with different ones).
It sounds like you want to stop being judged, and you think the easiest way to do that is to stop being a girl. There’s no default face or body a girl needs to have to be “feminine”.
Femininity is extremely diverse. A muscular female bodybuilder and a Victoria’s Secret model can both be just as feminine as each other. You’ve been ingrained since you were young to think a girl has to be a certain way, but you don’t. It can be challenging to unlearn, but know that you’re not alone.
As a NB person (non-binary) honestly treating myself as genderless and being fluid enough to roll with feeling like. Boy or a girl or sometimes nothing it feels super freeing and it makes you focus on yourself as just an individual and not gender Norma or expectations. I’m not saying you have to be nonbinary but is it something you’ve thought about? As in are you confused with your own identity and it’s fine if you’re not sure yet don’t let people convince you it’s bad or a sin or whatever those people are kinda in some religious psychosis of some kind
Heard a story of a lady who pretended to be a guy for a year at for a documentary she got so depressed. She wanted to kill herself. She said it was the loneliest thing she had ever experienced in her life.
I know I won’t have the greatest advice, but he’s what I’ve got to say. Being any gender isn’t easy, and most people who have easy lives were usually lucky at birth. Hardships can mould you into something amazing.
Rather than thinking of what could have been, think of what you can make with your current position. Based on this post, I assume you already have, but considered communicating with your parents about how you feel. You don’t need to include the part about wishing you were a boy, but make it clear how you feel about gender expectations.
Also, I noticed you mentioned not feeling feminine enough when looking in the mirror. That’s not the right mindset. You said yourself you don’t like all the gender based expectations, so rather than looking in the mirror and wanting an example of feminism to look back, you should want to see yourself and feel like yourself.
No one is perfect, not because no one is close to it, but because perfect doesn’t exist. Everyone is unique, and that’s why gender expectations are naive.
I hope if you haven’t already, you can speak to them and allow them to see your point of view and let them understand how you feel.
Its worse.
Be happy you’re a girl.