Second time posting here, things got worse. I really REALLY want to die, but the thought terrifies me. It’s a bit selfish for me to just give up my life considering how my family has done so much for me, and I owe them a lot, but have I done something good for them? Nope. I want to. I really want to do something good for them, but I can’t take it anymore. I keep on b1tch-crying over how bad my academic performance is. I’m very self-aware of everything that’s wrong with me or what I have to do to improve, but I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. It’s like every single problem of mine piled up, so I’ve simply just given up. I know I’m still very young and things can still change, but no one can somehow get the ‘we’ll all die someday and all the things we’ve done will result to nothing.’ mindset from me.
I want to die but the thought of my friends, family, or my loved ones in general grieving over me terrifies me.
Can I still do something about this?
Comments
Message me if you need to vent (I’m 18F) You are worth staying here for and i’m always here if you need someone to talk/ listen to. I’ve been through similar things as well as dealing with my own hardships. Things do get better eventually. even if the end doesn’t seem in sight
Please don’t kill yourself I get how life can be tuff and sometimes some situations can be shitty and even if we know how to improve them sometimes we struggle to motivate ourselves to act on them. But nonetheless it’s still important to try. And even if you don‘t and I know this will sound cliche but Academia isn’t everything there are so many things in live you can experience either big or small it’s not worth giving up before you’ve really experienced what it means to have lived.
And please if you’re having those thought and I know this can be emotionally challenging but talk to your family. Also maybe if you can afford it or if your health insurance covers it seek professional advice. You posting this is already a good step because it shows how you’re trying to atleast reach out even if it is to strangers on the internet.
You’re gonna be ok! You’re more resilient than you think.