I’m 35, married with a house, no kids yet though.
I’ve just started a fulfilling career after years of job hopping, school, and being lost and disappointed with life.
At this new job during a conversation I mentioned I’ve been with the same guy for 18 years, everyone was shocked, apparently they all thought I was 18. Not at all the first time I’ve gotten this kind of reaction,
I’ve been around older teens and young twenty somethings who thought I was one of them, my age is often surprising to people. This is not at all in a good way.
I don’t wear makeup or do much with my hair, I’m plus size and wear comfortable dresses and leggings. I like to get dressed up once in awhile but I hate comments and compliments so I don’t do it much. And I never did get the hang of makeup.
I’ve gotten comments from younger folks that I “talk like them” I
guess because I speak casually and I use slang, not the newer stuff, just talk like I always have.
I guess my vibes are lack of confidence, easygoing, and eager to please (especially at work) but I try to stand up straight, smile, and small talk.
This was all fine in my 20s but now I would like to be seen as a reliable adult, someone people can depend on.
What does a thirty something even look like? How do they act? How does a thirty something woman with no kids act? I straight up don’t know any and the stereotype is the wild or cooky Aunt (I would so lean into that if I was single lol)
I don’t want to be mistaken for someone younger, it’s be nice for people to see me and think “oh she must be in her thirties, she must have lots of life experience”
Any ideas or advice?
Comments
In part you could see if you could change what you were at the office. Just find a store and find a lady to help you with recommendations. Go to the hair dresser and ask for advice.
And in part will you win this game. By the time everyone is 40/50 and will be complaining you will be fine!
I had this problem, until my first baby was a bad sleeper and I was in survival mode for 2 years. Apparently the exhaustion made me 10 years older. I wonder what this says about our life choices as a society.
There’s no right answer.
One method is to dress to impress. Some people want to be sexy, sophisticated, dependable, neutral or even offputting. They are aiming for a particular impact. This is particularly true for people who need to make an impact at work to support their career like sales, finance, marketing, etc.
Another way is to dress for a feeling. Confidence, happiness, comfort, or just vibes. I work behind a computer from home, so I can pull off a forest-witch vibe without worrying about how that impacts my livelihood.
Pinterest is a great resource to look at outfits and get an idea of what you might like.
A good salon can help you figure out what makeup or hair suits you.
Often when I work with younger people, they assume I’m 22 or whatever and its because young folks don’t realise that 35 isn’t old like they thought.
I just joke that my immaturity keeps me young.