Hi ! Just so you know my main language is not english so dont mind my gramar please !
My partner and I (21F and 22F) have been to get her for 3 years now, like all couples we fight and argue but I was never « mad », always calm or raising my voice a little to mark my point.
My partner have autisim and botherderline personnality so she got a lot of emotions and her own way of dealing with them. Me, on the other hand, have ADHD and dont have a lot of emotions, generaly I dont feel them at all, I feel them only when one of them is too big and it’s a very short period of time.
Today we start to argue about something I dont remember but it end with her asking me to not just communicate my emotions but to show them, wich is difficult for me since I don’t know them.
I was a bit angry and we start to argue more and I did what she ask, I show it, at some point I made a mean comment and hurt her, I apologie and say that showing my anger only hurt so I earn my lesson and I Will never show it again (I know its not cool from me but I was feeling very bad for hurting her).
We continue to argue and she tell me that every emotions she has as always been an issue (which is not she is teeling that to herself) and say that she will never show any other emotions than love. We talk a bit (still mad at eatchother) and I say that I didnt want that and was not comfortable and okay with that, she keep saying she doesnt care and nothing will change the decision.
It’s been a few hours now, we didnt really talk and I’m still mad, like crazy mad so I didnt apologies first like usual. I don’t know what to do I really dont want to apologies first or make the first step and I’ve never been this mad this long to anybody in my life.
Anybody have advice ? I really dont know what to do
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TL;DR; my partner and I (21F and me 22f) argue about showing emotions, I got mad and made a mean comment and didnt want to show my anger again because I hurt her, we continue to argue and she tell me that she will never show me any other emotions than love since her emotions have always been an issue (it’s not but she is telling herself that), now I’m mad and never been this mad for that long for her and I dont know what to do
Comments
It’s okay to be angry at your partner. Talk about it with each other after the anger passes, and express yourselves calmly. She loves you, she will eventually open up and express other emotions again. People say things they don’t mean out of anger or being hurt all the time, what’s important is that you forgive eachother and move on from it.