I’m really smart but I downplay it and never talk about my achievements

r/

Unless you really pry it out of me because I learned that people are SO quick to feel bad about themselves / get jealous because of what someone else has done…

And I can’t stand making other people feel bad 🙁

I used to think others would be excited for me but I can’t even state basic facts without seeming like bragging.

Now I’ll meet entire groups of people, and go all night without mentioning a word about myself or career and they’re always more friendly to me that way . Everyone in the circle talking about what they do and I won’t open my mouth until directly asked. Sucks because I thought there would be more of a shared excitement for peers who are doing well, I learned….. that is not the case

Comments

  1. LobotomyOptional2 Avatar

    If you’re not in an environment where people can root for each others achievements, is that really your circle? Sure, maybe tooting your own horn in a casual environment out of the blue is kind of braggadocios but with friends and colleagues, I feel it’s completely warranted.

  2. Money-Journalist7479 Avatar

    I am the same way. I think it’s just because I don’t see it. When my mom speaks about my achievements to family members I even say I just “apply myself and anyone can do it” because it is technically true but also, I don’t want to make anyone feel bad.

    Guess it happens to the best of us, haha!

  3. Azerd01 Avatar

    Same to a degree

    You just need a local support group, whether its friends or family to share your excitement with. Without going overboard of course.

    Ive been in quite a few situations this last year or so where ive wanted to excitedly let people know stuff, but refrained to avoid appearing as a bragger. I think its a balancing act you’ll have to manage

  4. magaketo Avatar

    But it also sucks to have conversations and get to know someone while they never bother to be inquisitive about me.

    Edit: Your comments also extend to financial information. Those are conversations I keep to myself because people are not happy to hear you are more financially set than they are.

  5. the_independent_wolf Avatar

    Just go to smart people meetups and make friends there

  6. vanityislobotomy Avatar

    My cousin recommended a barber to me. I went, and the barber and I had a great chat while he cut my hair. Afterward, I told my cousin about it. He said “He didn’t talk with me when he cut my hair.” I asked why he thought that might be. He said “Probably because when he asked me what I was studying in college, I said Physics.”

  7. Expensive_Window_312 Avatar

    I find too much “tit for tat” and I can “top that” when discussing achievements, failures, ideas. I save it for those who can listen and have positivity to conversations.

  8. ContestWeekly3955 Avatar

    This is what outgrowing your circle feels like

  9. Key_Drawer_3581 Avatar

    real g’s roll in silence like lasagna

  10. MasterAnthropy Avatar

    Well OP – quite the summation of the human condition.

    Sucks that you feel you can’t open up and be yourself – but also (sadly) not uncommon.

    The average bear only wants to run their mouth about themselves and can bear-ly (😉) stand to pay attention for 10 seconds if someone else chimes in or answers a question.

    Finding people who actively listen is a sure sign of their true intelligence.

    I wish you luck in your journey and hope you find your tribe. 👊

  11. Huge-Pattern7967 Avatar

    This

    Nobody talks about this

  12. Huge-Pattern7967 Avatar

    Smart, successful, pretty, rich——

    The truth is people hate it when someone within their own social circle is better than them in anyway shape or form.

    They always want to be the best.

  13. luca-__- Avatar

    That what I feel every time I talk about that time when I was travelling, ho never mind.

  14. Key-Proud Avatar

    Learn what comedians do to come out less cocky with self deprecation.