So, my sister (22f) recently moved back in with me (17f) and my parents after getting out of a toxic six-year relationship, which has caused her to go down some dark roads. She has always been known to drink and go out and constantly be black out, but recently we have grown a relationship to where she told me about her coke problem… now it scared me right off the bat because one of my best friends died from fent laced coke 2 months ago and so did our uncle and cousin, I didn’t want her to be afraid to open up to me or make her feel like I judged her so I made it seem like I didn’t care like it wasn’t a big deal, it is one though.
I did the same with my best friend, I just distanced myself and stopped texting her as much because I was scared that I might fall into those acts because I have the addiction gene from both my mom and my dad and fall for peer pressure easily and I regret it so much now, I don’t want the same outcome for my sister but she’s so hard headed and takes everything harshly and if u say one thing she doesn’t like she will hold it for all her life it’s how she is. I mean how do u really help someone with an addiction?
I love how strong she is, it’s like for her, her opinion is a fact, and she will hold her head up high and not get embarrassed easily and not to mention she’s my mom’s favorite. They will always have that amazing relationship and that’s great it’s just as of recently it’s like she’s checked out and constantly makes comments about how I have to be the strong one for mom or I have to be the generational change for the family because she can’t it’s like she doesn’t see a future for herself. I wish she knew how much she was loved.
How am I supposed to help her? My mom enables the behavior because she says, “she’s an adult she can handle herself” when there are literal nights, she has come home at 2 am crying in my room, blasted, about how she wants to be cared for and how tired she is, so it’s not that reassuring.
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You can’t save her by sinking with her. Speak up or risk losing her to silence.
She needs to get help , something you cannot provide …
If she knows she has a problem then not only dorks she need to see a shrink but she needs to join a group for addicts and get a sponsor.
It’s that or she needs to admit herself to a rehab clinic
talk to freddy fazbor. he will save her
You’re not alone keep supporting her and encourage professional help. Take care of yourself too
That’s so tough….Just stay by her side, listen, love her, and gently steer her toward help. Check out NA meetings or hotlines. And don’t forget to look after yourself too…
Unfortunately, until she sees how bad her situation is, she won’t get help..you won’t be able to make her do anything. My brother was an addict and I tried for 3 years to make him go to rehab or make him go to NA but it wasn’t till his lover was failing that he decided to change his life for himself.
I’ve had my own battles with substances and also other issues but it wasn’t until I made the decision that I needed to change my life or doe that I got on track.
Staying on track is the trick
She really needs professional help, addiction isn’t something you can fix alone, no matter how much you love her. Support her, but encourage her to talk to a therapist or join a recovery program.
The best way to help someone with an addiction is to communicate directly about how you envision their actions playing out in the long run.
Communicate in a non-confrontational, but direct manner, that you do not want to be attending her funeral anytime in the near future, and that she deserves to grow old with you by her side (and vice versa).
The reality of street drugs these days is that fentanyl is being laced into all types of drugs and it is only a matter if time before she finds it in her nose. If the paramedics or law enforcement isn’t there quick enough with the narcan that will be the end of her life.
On a side note you should look into acquiring some narcan. It is readily available in many places and you should keep some around if this situation should ever arise. I would not tell your sister about this, as an addict will see this as “permission” in a way, a backup plan that she can have on hand “so as long as I have this I can do whatever I want”.
I wish you luck in your pursuit of a solution. Addiction is a horrible problem that effects us all in some way.
I been doing coke for 8 years but finally came clean. It takes a good person as in a relationship to see her flaws and to pin point what is wrong with her. She wont listen to you because your her sister but this has to be an outsider who’s with her almost everyday. Hopefully your sister will get some sense in her head to quit. If I can do it I am sure she can but it will take a long time to cold turkey.