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I’m serious….

r/

If you had/ if you are, having a successful hoe phase, please share your secrets! If this ain’t for you, please keep it movin. 😊

Edit: kinda strange that this would be down voted. When it comes to a woman with marital problems, relationship problems, kid problems, family problems….. The community shows up. But I ask a question to assist in my life, and a life that maybe many others are wondering about, or maybe looking for tips on self-confidence and how to maybe put themselves out there, you down vote? Why?? That’s insane. We are all living different paths and are just looking for a way to fulfill where we are at the moment.

Comments

  1. tree_clouds Avatar
    tree_clouds

    I’m just here to learn. Won’t ever have the guts to be a hoe, but I’m still curious!

  2. Informal_Potato5007 Avatar
    Informal_Potato5007

    I was a slut many many years ago, when I was a teenager lol. I don’t know what kind of tips you’re looking for, though. I was insanely confident back then and I think that was key 😆

  3. eat_sleep_microbe Avatar
    eat_sleep_microbe

    I did in my 20s and then I eventually fell for my FWB (who’s now my husband) so I’m not sure if you can call that successful. But at the time, I was very busy with grad school and had 4 FWBs on rotation. It was purely physical. We didn’t hang out or connect after. I’d also use guys who hit on me in clubs/bars for free drinks.

  4. saltandsassbeach Avatar
    saltandsassbeach

    Know what your boundaries are. Consider what you need to feel comfortable (STDs, pregnancy prevention (if relevant), etc). Know what you’re looking for (eg I want someone that will cuddle me after or spend the night, or if it’s purely good sex). I’ve only had a few one night stands and I can tell you I was mainly looking for company and not necessarily great sex on those occasions and I got what I wanted/needed. Otherwise I feel like good quality sex takes a little bit of practice to figure e/o bodies out so dating casually someone to figure out compatability helps figure out who’s a good communicator and on the same page. Be nice, be respectful, be clear, get tested regularly. Enjoy!

  5. Angry_Sparrow Avatar
    Angry_Sparrow

    What is secret about it? Go on tinder and find someone and have sex with them. I tell them “I’m looking for casual fun, and I’m open to it becoming more”. That’s it. Use protection. Ask to see evidence of their most recent STI screenings. Get the HPV vaccine if you don’t have it already.

    I always send one of my sisters a photo of the person I’m meeting and their name etc. just in case.

    At one point I wanted to see how many different men I could sleep with in a day. 🤷‍♀️ it was fun. I’ve had a 3some with 2 men. That was fun.

    Just always be really transparent with people about your intentions.

  6. ConsiderationOne5609 Avatar
    ConsiderationOne5609

    Hi there! So yeah, what do you want to know? I’ve had some pretty successful hoe phases myself haha. Had a good roster working pretty well a while back haha. Particularly just before I met my partner around a year ago.

    If you really want to go for it –

    • Be cutthroat. If you’re using apps, there are SO many people out there. You can afford to just stop talking to someone or block them if there’s even one tiny thing they’ve said that you don’t like. You don’t have to lower your standards just because you want to have some casual fun. If anything, being cutthroat helps ensure you consistently have positive experiences. What I mean by being cutthroat is – block them if there’s anything you don’t like that they’ve said to you, if they as for your snapchat – block them, if they don’t make the effort to have a conversation properly, they don’t commit to a time to meet after chatting for a couple of days, if they don’t agree to any boundaries that you set. If there’s anything that puts you off, it’s not worth your time. Someone else will come along.
    • In saying that, be openminded. What I mean by this is, swipe right with an open mind and be curious enough about someone to want to meet them first to see if you’re down. They may not be your typical or usual type, but if there’s enough that intrigues you, just go and meet them and see if there’s chemistry. Don’t put up with bullshit, but expand your horizons and be curious.
    • State your boundaries and non-negotiables early. I used to do this so it’s out there in black and white, but it also gauges if they’re an asshole or not. How do they react to you putting boundaries in place? Do they have boundaries of their own?
    • Be honest. Be honest about what you’re looking for and insist upon their honesty as well. If you’re just looking for good honest, clean fun, say that, and tell them if they’re hoping for more, that you’re not the one. And if you’re seeing other people, tell them that and ask them if they’re also seeing other people.
    • Be patient. You’ve gotta put in the ground work and do the swiping (if it’s apps you’re turning to). There’s a lot of bullshit out there so you’ve got to weed through all of that to get to the good stuff. It takes some patience to find someone who’s looking for something similar and that you click with. It may not happen immediataly.
    • Be safe. Always tell a friend what your plans are and have a cut off time that they should hear from you by to know you’re safe. Tell them where you’re going and who you’re meeting. And also, use protection.

    Those are the first things that pop into my head!

  7. Automatic_Syrup_2935 Avatar
    Automatic_Syrup_2935

    Never be afraid to leave after the deed to sleep in your own bed. Make them make you come first. If they annoy you, move on. Keep your boundaries and stay committed. The worst fucking men love to lock a happy hoe down.