(Note: this was also posted in another subreddit but edited to fit this one a little better.) Getting straight to the point: I’m a sophomore in high school who currently has 7 credits and will most likely be ending the year with 9.
From elementary all through middle school I was always a good student, the work was easy for me to comprehend and I didn’t struggle. I started freshman year off strong but snowballed after getting behind and not having the motivation to catch up. I ended up getting diagnosed with ADHD and starting medication the summer before sophomore year.
Fast forward to now and I’m even more behind. My school does everything online, no paper assignments or anything like that, I haven’t been able to get a significant amount of work done. My old homeroom teacher screwed me over for most of the year because she was convinced she “knew how ADHD kids worked” when she didn’t, meaning everything she put in place for me did nothing but make my environment harder to work in. My new teacher is better and easier to work with but we only have 5 more weeks of school and there’s too much damage to undo.
They told my parents I have to transfer to a different school next year but every option I have is terrible. The school I’m zoned to Is known for its violence and horrible learning conditions, my parents aren’t considering online since Covid was hard for me, and we don’t have money for private school.
My dad would get after me for being so behind but he stopped caring and it hurts seeing how disappointed he is. It’s horrible trying to explain that sometimes I physically can’t get myself to do the work and not being understood. Get called lazy and being told “you don’t care” when just the thought of how much work you haven’t done keeps you up at night isn’t something I’d wish on anyone.
I had dreams for a specific college and job, a life I was set on having. It feels nearly impossible now that I’ve put myself in this situation. I can’t imagine a life outside of the one I planned and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to move forward when everything seems so out of reach.
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Make the best of the five weeks for now. Your life has just begun. Relax, too, as you move through the five weeks . Work steady with the help of the teacher who wants to help you
I would work with your teachers and stay after school to get caught up on work and even go into school early if you can to get caught up on work. Ask all your teachers if they offer extra credit work and if they do, then do it. Also ask if they would extend assignments for you. See if your school district offers Gateway to College, it’s a program for kids who are either super behind or at risk of dropping out, I did it and it’s what saved me from completely dropping out of school.
omg, your life isn’t over. It’s barely begin. I’m not going to be mean but I’m not going to coddle either. as a 32 year old father of one who has made more than my fair share of mistakes, life always moves on. you will rebuild yourself a thousand times. your life is a home and homes need remodeling from time to time. you got this buddy.
Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.
You can take summer school classes and credit recovery. See if your district offers a credit recovery school. It will be smaller than your current school without the violence and fewer distractions. The teachers work with you more.
Here’s some tough love:
You have ADHD, and that’s going to make life harder for you than it is for other people. And that’s not fair. But if you want to have your life, you do need to manage your ADHD – yes, even though other people don’t have to and it’s not fair that they don’t and you do. Make sure to take your medication and make sure to look up and use techniques to manage your ADHD besides just medication.
But here’s also something nicer:
You may be behind by 2 years on your high school education. However, all is not lost. A lot of schools offer credit recovery of some kind. If you also blow a semester in your Junior year, you may not be able to graduate from high school, but you’ve now also gotten your diagnosis and you have a better understanding of how you work and what you need to do to manage.
And even supposing your Junior year doesn’t go well, even supposing you don’t graduate from high school (which doesn’t necessarily need to be the case!), you can still get a GED. After getting your GED, you can still go to community college for two years. After going to community college for two years, you can still transfer to a four year university and into the career you’ve been aiming for.
Well luckily your life isn’t over before it started. Because it’s just started. And it’s not over.
Everyone has their hurdles. Here’s one of many you’ll experience. On Advice? It’s gonna be general – do your best, work hard, do what you think is right, be honest, and if you dont know what to do, do something anyway with respect to the first 4 rules. Always. If you do those five things every single day, your life will turn out fine. You probably won’t, I sure as hell dont. But its something to aspire to and to push towards. Dont let apathy get in the way of moving towards something, be it a big goal, or just the goal of “I need to figure my way out of this situation”
Youre young. Relax when you try to sleep, and deal with everything when you’re awake as best you can and as much as you can. You got this – and I know all of this advice is easier given than taken.
In five years, none of this will be important. At all. Try to keep your anxiety soothed with positive self-talk.
It’s SO hard to have perspective at such a young age. Online school is disastrous for lots of students, especially ADHDers. You’re doing the best you can in a very difficult situation.
Rather than throwing yourself 100% into everything, optimize. Figure out how well you have to do on each assignment and exam to reach the next letter grade. Study NO harder in each class than you have to to get a B or even a C+.
Make these choices early and with your eyes open. If you don’t know how you’re doing in each class, this is the time to ask. You could even be honest with your teachers and say you’re feeling overwhelmed and what can the suggest you focus on. Many teachers will be more willing to help if you ask early.
I fucked around because of ADHD for like 6 years. I was way “behind”. Don’t let your journey is slower ruin the journey.
Nothing is impossible and your dreams are achievable duckling. You just need to figure out what works for you. We are all different, we succeed differently, we learn differently, we organize differently. You have to figure out you because what you’re doing now is not working.
I suggest going on chatgpt and telling it your issues and goals and asking it for suggestions. If it gives you ones that haven’t worked just tell it. It’s surprisingly helpful! You are in a box and need to think outside it. You can do this
Okay. Deep breath. When I was your age, I had just missed an entire school year due to severe anxiety and agoraphobia that came out of no where. I also wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my 40s.
My advice: Do the best you can for the next five weeks. Does your district offer summer school? You can take classes then to make up something.
I missed my entire freshman year, and spent my sophomore year just trying to be okay. Junior year I turned it on. I poured everything I had into school to turn things around. Same with senior year.
Overall, I ended up missing about a third of high school. I have two degrees and am going for my masters right now. Focus on the fact that the worst is behind you, even if that starts tomorrow.
You are smart. You can do this.
Stop, take a breath.
High school really does not matter at all, do you best to pass, don’t beat yourself over it. If you try your best, then you achieved your best then that stops regret, it won’t bar you from any ambitions. If you want to do higher ed, there are alternative pathways, because many people capable didn’t do very well in high school. It is slower, but it’s doable, (imo slower is good).
I fucked my high school, i performed better then 55% of other students, i then dropped out of engineering, I am now achieving HDs in law, it’s doable.