I love dogs. I really do. My boyfriend of 3 years made me take my two small dogs that I’ve had for over a decade to my mom’s house because he didn’t like them. (They’re both seniors and pee in the house a lot. Also he just doesn’t like small dogs that’s just how it is.)
Since then, we’ve gotten two more dogs. Dog 1, got her last year. She doesn’t really like my boyfriend and bonded with me. Fine, that’s cool, I like her and I will take care of her.
This year, he decides he wants to adopt a puppy for himself. I say ok, because his dog died a while ago and he misses having a companion. He promised me he will take care of him. He doesn’t do shit to take care of that dog. I’m the only one who feeds him, and I walk him 10+ times a day (active puppy, he asks to go out to pee constantly). Boyfriend will walk him maybe once or twice a week.
Note: boyfriend has a physical disability. But is that really an excuse for him to be a shitty dog owner?
I just spent the last 20 minutes crying because I decided to walk both dogs together just now. Normally I take them one at a time, it’s just easier for me that way. But I wanted to get it done quickly because I need to make dinner soon. It was a bad choice.
Dog 1 is leash reactive, she will pull and growl excessively at other dogs walking. This happened… and Dog 2 decided to follow suit. They’re both large dogs, and I’m a small framed woman. I held onto both leashes with everything, and the dogs pulled me down and dragged me in the grass. The only one who got hurt was me. It was frustrating, and embarrassing. I brought them both back in and put them in their kennels. My eyes hurt. I feel a lot of resentment and desire to drink as a result. (I’m an alcoholic almost 50 days sober)
Call me irresponsible, call me an idiot. I already know. I just want some help because I can’t do this all by myself on top of a full time job and caring for my disabled and unemployed boyfriend.
Comments
He does not sound like a team mate ! He wants dogs but won’t take care of them ? You support him ? You market and make dinner ….Ohhh He is a boy/man who just wants to be taken care of . You are not married there is time for you … Please don’t set yourself up for this … It is too much for anyone .. You will resent him . He will not show admiration or appreciation. He is selfish.. No … He wants his mother not a wife … Sorry to be so blunt ..
I’m sorry you are struggling but why on earth buy more dogs when you had to give two away? (‘Made’ you take them to your mother’s?) can you clarify what you mean by he ‘made’ you?
Your boyfriend had and has no intention of caring for his dog. If you continue to do all the work for him why would he?? He doesn’t care that you’re exhausted and overwhelmed. Be thankful it’s not a child and do not get pregnant by this loser.
Personally I’d refuse to do a single thing for the dog but to offer to rehome it. He probably won’t step up anyway and you continue being his dog sitter but you have a choice here.
hi i just wanted to say im sorry this happened to you and im proud of your sobriety. maybe treat yourself to some dessert or a bath/shower? you deserve something nice. youre not alone and i will not drink with you today
This is a complete mess – just no –
Take the dogs and go to your mother’s.
Girl fucking run wtf are you doing
Just say no.
Throw this man and his dogs out and go get your babies from your mom. Anyone that would force you to get rid of YOUR pets so you could take care of theirs is not worth your time.
This is a very bad situation for not only you but the dogs as well..
You had two small dogs that were elderly and he made you rehome them with your mother? As in through a fit? Told you he didn’t want them there? Did he not know that you had those dogs when he met you? Did he make you feel bad and get rid of them?
At what point did you think it was a good idea for both of you to get another dog? I’m thinking you both got the 1st dog together,?
I get that she bonded with you, but it’s both of your dog.. The fact that she doesn’t like him speaks volumes. .
And then you decide to get another dog, so that he can have his own? You were already doing all the work with your first dog that you both had together…. Obviously that was a terrible idea.
Now the dog. It’s a puppy right? And you’re doing all the work?
If this was supposed to be his own dog is he paying the vet visit? Did he get him dewormed? Is he going to be training this dog on the leash? Is he going to be training him to do tricks? Is he going to be yard training him? Socializing him? Crate training him?
You need to sit down and have a conversation with him.
Tell him, this your dog correct? You wanted this dog to be close to you and you promised to take care of him right? He’s going to say yes. Say, you need to take care of him .
I agreed to get this dog, with the exception that you were going to take care of him.. I didn’t mind stepping in and helping out but now it’s all on me.
I already have one dog to take care of, and it’s not fair that you’re dumping him on me 100%.
Tell him that you had to walk both dogs, and it was a lot.
Tell him that he needs to step in and help you. Tell him you don’t need the extra stress that you’re already struggling with sobriety and this is stressing you out.
Tell him that if he doesn’t step up and take responsibility for the dog, that you won’t. He will have to find somebody to dog sit.
Could you imagine if you had kids with this guy?
Maybe he figures since you’re doing all the work he doesn’t need to do anything. You cannot allow this man to treat you this way. You’ve allowed this behavior. You need to put an end to it or break up. I know this seems like a small issue, but this to me feels like an underlying issue of bigger issues in the relationship just saying…
You gave your senior small dogs to your parents. For them to take care of. Only to get two more dogs. Except this time they’re larger dogs. What you need to get rid of is your man-child of a boyfriend. Take dog 1 and go get her and you some training so that you don’t have to physically restrain your dog. Maybe start muzzle training if you can’t, at least do that.
I’m stating this from a place of love because I’ve been in a similar situation. My dog wasn’t trained. Didn’t have a muzzle. I only had her for a short time. She had to be put down at the same animal hospital where the small dog she had attacked died. I was a mess. My life was a mess. And it went into a downward spiral quickly. I won’t get into the details of that, but I know that resentment is building up here; it’s probably building in other areas of your relationship, too.
Are you giving yourself the love you should be? Is your partner being a partner? Is he giving you what you need in this relationship? Are you sacrificing more than he would ever be able to fathom?
You rehomed your 2 dogs you had for a decade because he didn’t like them? Wtf.
I hope I don’t get downvoted, but I am going to say. You have to completely put your foot down. I love dogs too but I know 100 percent I do not make a good owner. I have kids etc. when my kids dad went through this phase, and did barely anything for the dog. I had to set my foot down strong and firm. I made it very very clear. That he and I are not dog people and he needs to find a home for it immediately or I will myself. It also was a two day process but I nagged him so bad saying “no, no, no I am not accepting this your dog has to go.” The dog went with his mother that was the end of that. Set boundaries and stand on them or you will be the one drained and you don’t deserve that. Someone has to be responsible here, for your mental health, his and most importantly the dog. He deserves a home with people who has time and is a good Dog owner.
It sounds like it’s past time to rehome your big dogs, and your boyfriend too. If your boyfriend is unemployed, doesn’t that mean you paid for the dogs? If you’re their primary caregiver, and they’re too much for you (which clearly they are), the kindest thing would be to find them homes with larger, stronger, active dog lovers. Are they purebreds? Would their breeders take them back (any good one would).
I have two dogs and they set each other off all the time. It’s super frustrating!
I know you didn’t ask for advice, but I want to urge you to stop giving into your boyfriend’s whims, at least without asking questions and setting boundaries first. He is obviously capable of walking the dogs, but you are the one walking his puppy. Did you agree to that before you got the puppy? Was he supposed to be the take care of it?
You didn’t give us much information, but your boyfriend seems horrible. I think a good rule for dog people to stand by is if a partner asks you to get rid of your dog, you get rid of that person instead.
My two dogs will never leave me unless I’m dead before them. You should have gotten out of that relationship before getting rid of your dogs.
How old is ur kid?
No but seriously, I’d rethink/reevaluate the relationship if you’ve spoken to him about this before and he didn’t listen. And I mean, said, “hey, I’m not taking care of the dog you said you’d care for, or you need to help me take care of both the dogs because I am doing a lot of physical labor that you partially signed up for”
Also you shouldn’t have gotten a big dog in the first place for him, idk why either one thought he could handle a big breed if he’s disabled.
Have a talk, or give the dog to a home that is able to care for his size and needs.
I am really sorry.
I can’t understand people who don’t take care of their puppies.
I would do anything to take care of them.
I love so much
Maybe it’s not the person for you.
I say ditch him and the dogs, maybe take the one that bonded with you… get your little dogs back and move away from your boyfriend. He needs to be alone.
Omg. Love yourself and leave him. Please choose you..
Years ago, when I was young and dumb, I dated a guy who wouldn’t take care of his two dogs while I had my own dog. I didn’t realize all this before I moved in with him. He lost his job almost immediately after we moved in together and never got another one as far as I know. He left his big Labrador out in the shed, barely fed him and never let him out. His other dog, a labradoodle, he kept in 3×3 foot little room between the house and the backyard. Both dogs had fleas and lived in squalor. If they were fed, bathed or let outside to run around it was because of me. He was bipolar and had many depressive episodes where he would rot on the couch. I worked overtime to pay all the bills. He was the first guy I had ever been with who was remotely good in the sack so I was very blinded by that at as a 19f while he was a 31m. He never did any house or yard work. Didn’t drop off the rent. Wouldn’t get his car fixed so he could get around. Didn’t go to the grocery store or cook more than one meal per month. A couple months into this I was looking for a way out and it took me another year to save up enough to leave him. The final straw was one day when I asked him to do three things before I left for my 10 hour shift at work. I asked him to change the wet clothes over to the dryer so they wouldn’t mold. I asked him to take my dog out a couple of times in our yard to go to the bathroom and I asked him to change a lightbulb in a lamp. When I got home there was dog piss all over my rug, the clothes were not in the dryer, and the lightbulb still hadn’t been changed. This is your future if you stay with this guy. Don’t have sex with him any more and get yourself out of this. You are not his mommy or his nurse.
You buried the lead. Boyfriend is unemployed. Stop. Doing. Everything. He may be disabled but he owns two dogs. What was the plan? You are letting him get away with too much OP. It’s time to have a hard talk.
>>my boyfriend made me
No, he didn’t. You moved your dogs because your BF was more important to you than your dogs. Be honest.
>>adopt a puppy…promised he would take care of the puppy
He doesn’t even take care of his own responsibilities. Why would you believe your BF about child (puppy) care? Don’t blame him for the decisions you’re making.
So you got rid of your two senior dogs and replaced them with young dogs (who sound like they need some major training)?
Idk what to say.There is no excuse that ever makes doing that ok.
I’d ditch my bf in a heartbeat if he even hinted that I get rid of my 2 senior dogs. They are family and not objects to be given away.
If your boyfriend tells you to jump off a cliff, hurt another person, or commit a crime are you going to your family, friends, and even law enforcement that he “made” you do it?
You have to realize you are an agent and not an object. He’s not making you do anything. You’re choosing to do it because you don’t know how to set or enforce your own boundaries.
Other than that I have two dogs and I also got hurt really walking them together. The first couple of times wasn’t that bad but a time a few weeks ago it was so bad I was bleeding everywhere and I’m still healing from it. I knew something had to change. I ordered 2 Might Paws Hands free dog leashes. I love them. They’re bungee leashes that absorb shock when they lunge. They also have a loop near the collars so I can grab them close to me when needed. I have a fanny pack full of treats and poopy bags and I can use them for training now since my hands are free. I just put both belts around my waist but technically you could do one belt with both leashes. I just like having both belts on. Not super expensive and I’d definitely recommend
loads of practice and also understandjng other persons moves
Honey, he would have been gone the second he suggested getting rid of my dogs. This is not a partner, it’s a user.
What do you mean he ‘made’ you take the dogs to your mom’s house?
Their relationship seems problematic.
A dog is a blessing, I always wanted to get one.
It makes me sad to see someone give up and not be 100% in love with their dogs.
For me it’s a redflag like no other hahaha
In addition to abusing your good will, you are a cook, a dog walker and a maid and you still put money in the house? LOL
What kind of relationship is this, deny it, leak it.
And give me one of those dogs ae
Break up with him. Please. Let him take care of his own dogs and himself.
I’m sorry but I’m angry because I don’t take care of dogs who are the greatest joy in the world
I’m angry
I think I was going to finish hahaha because who doesn’t care about a dog, a good guy isn’t a good night
And stop supporting machu poi.
Take your dogs, go to your mother and take care of them there.
Prioritize your animals, because animals won’t wake up one day saying they don’t love you anymore.
And honestly, if you marry this person it will only be worse: you will be a provider and an employee.
congrats. you are a mom to 3 living animals.
dunp the bf. take both dogs to a rescue to find more appropriate homes. its better for them.
this is what being a reaponsible adult means.
He made you get rid of your dogs so go ahead and get rid of his
Girl, what are you doing? You let some disabled, unemployed jackass force you to get rid of your own dogs, and now you take full care of everything, including him and new dogs?!
Why are you even with this guy?