My husband ’27M’ and I ’30 F’ have been in a relationship for 7 years and married for 4 years. We have fun together, share many common interests, hangout with friends. If anyone were to look at us, we look like the perfect healthy couple. However, something has been changing inside of me slowly. Since day one, I’ve been handling most of the financial burden. Let’s say because he wasn’t lucky and also he wasn’t taking good career decisions. I’ve always been the breadwinner and I make double of what he makes. I’ve been patient with him, supported him when he was looking for jobs, doing his certification and even when he was living in a different country. I tried to explain to him many times that the fact of me being the breadwinner is very pressuring and after 4 years of work I feel like I need to take some rest. He doesn’t argue. He says he’ll start driving for Uber to make some extra money, but that we’ll need to cut back on our lifestyle which is out of question for me since we’re not living a luxurious life anyway and the conversation ends there. He doesn’t bother doing anything more and thinking about solutions. He simply settles for what he’s currently doing. Even at home, I feel like I’m living with a child. I always have to tell him what to do, what to clean where to look and it’s impossible for him to ever complete a task except when he’s angry or upset (weird maybe, I know) He almost never takes the initiative. i feel like I have to manage and supervise him. We’ve had conversations many times and he changes his behaviour for a short period of time until everything goes back to the way it was and I have to have the same conversation all over again. I even found out lately that he got me a very expensive gift for my birthday that he paid from his line of credit. He has been making very bad financial decisions and has over 15k in debts that he’s not planning on paying anytime soon. Also, let me mention his gaming habits and how he games for hours and hours every few days and how defensive he gets when I ask him to spend some more time with me or try to tell him that he should reduce his gaming time. I feel like I’m being taken advantage of under the guise of women empowerment — something he strongly supports and often praises me for. All of this is making him so unattractive in my eyes and I’m slowly losing interest to him. Any advice on what I should do? Anyone has been in a similar situation before?
Tl;dr My husband (27M) and I (30F) have been together 7 years, married for 4. From the outside, we seem like a happy couple, but I’ve carried the financial burden the entire time. He makes half of what I do, has poor spending habits (15k+ in debt), and doesn’t take initiative — at home or in life. I feel like I’m managing a child, not a partner. He says he’ll do Uber to help, but takes no real steps. He games for hours, doesn’t follow through, and praises me in the name of “women empowerment” while I feel taken advantage of. I’m losing attraction and don’t know what to do. Has anyone been through something similar?