I’m 15 and I gave birth to my son Ezra six days ago. I absolutely love him so much and he’s such a great little guy, but the past week has been so overwhelming. He won’t stop crying unless his dad or I are holding him, and even then he’s really fussy. He has trouble nursing, and even though I’m trying to be patient, it’s so hard when he just refuses to eat. I know it’s not his fault, but I feel so bad and angry at myself for being so frustrated with him. I don’t want to formula feed because of the cost, but nursing him is so difficult and I don’t know what to do.
We only have help from his grandpa because my parents aren’t in the picture. My mom kicked me out when I got pregnant, refused to come to my baby shower, and didn’t respond to the little updates I sent her, so I though she didn’t want to be in the baby’s life, but now she’s asking me to come visit and I’m not comfortable with that. I don’t want her around my son, and I don’t know how to make that clear.
People keep reaching out to me with questions and asking to see the baby, and it’s so stressful. People are messaging me asking to see his face because I didn’t post it, asking to come over and meet him, and giving unsolicited advice constantly. My stepdad’s sister literally texted me asking me to change his name just because she didn’t like it. I have a hard time setting boundaries in general, and I know they mean well, but it’s so overwhelming.
I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. Ezra is such a sweet baby and his dad and I love him so much, but it’s so scary being parents.
Comments
You’re drowning not just tired so start saying no before you break. Ezra needs your calm not their chaos.
You’re doing so much already, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Being a new mom is incredibly hard, especially at your age, but your love for Ezra shines through. Take it one day at a time you’re stronger than you think.
Even at the age of 30, as new parents we’ve experience the same. It’s tough and you’re tired and there’s a lot of pressure especially when you don’t know anything but just know that little one is yours and Dads therefore what you say goes when it comes to him.
Nobody else can tell you what to do, if it doesn’t feel right. Ezra is a beautiful name so “whilst I appreciate your view, we really love the name and will be sticking to it as we adore how well it suits him”. Shut down any requests if you’re not ready to be seen as you need to bond and heal and rest. Feeding is hard and takes time to adjust, do you have access to a lactation consultant (depending where you’re from but they’re available most places). Are you pumping?
If baby wants to be held, you hold that baby. Everything else can wait! (Unless you’re sleepy then take shifts). They won’t be this small forever. Are you able to get a carrier to hold so you can free your hands up?
Crying could be many things, hunger, poorly tummy so try laying him down and doing some bicycle exercise to help soothe his tummy. Also massage the tummy (I write I L U across the belly and then flip it to do it on other side).
Take it one step at a time.
You posted on the advice sub to ask for advice but don’t want advice from people you actually know? I’m confused.
Also your mom is trying to reconnect and I’d get back in touch with her. She obviously realises she screwed up.
Also your tired and overwhelmed from the crying. He’s crying because he’s hungry but is having trouble. Have you asked advice from the doctor? See if there’s any tricks to get him to feed.
Also, it might be good to have some family around. They might help you with the baby for a few hours and might let you catch up on some sleep whilst they are there.
Don’t know where you live but usually the Health Department has RN’s who assist with newborn care. I am surprised you weren’t assigned a social worker since you and baby daddy are teen parents. Medicaid should be available for your little baby ( formula , diapers etc.