I (20F) have been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend (22M) for over a year now. He’s kind, caring, and truly the first person I’ve ever felt safe with. But there’s something from my past I’ve never told anyone outside of therapy—and I’m terrified it’s about to destroy everything between us.
When I was 17, I was in a very dark place mentally. I struggled with self-worth, had almost no self-esteem, and was surrounded by people who honestly didn’t have my best interest at heart. One of those people was my sister’s friend (let’s call her T). Through her, I ended up meeting a 25-year-old guy who became my first sexual experience. The experience left me feeling even more broken, ashamed, and I spiraled deeper into depression. I even considered ending my life.
At some point, that same friend introduced me to people who were making money meeting older men from online. At first I just watched from the sidelines. But with my mental state, low self-worth, and a desperate need for control, I gave in. It started with what I thought were “safer” things, but eventually I was involved in transactional sex for a few months. One guy even stole money from me that I had borrowed from a friend, which pushed me deeper into guilt and shame.
That period of my life lasted about four months. I used most of the money on drugs and felt like I was completely losing myself. My grades dropped, I had memory issues, and I felt like a ghost of who I used to be.
Eventually, I found a psychologist, started healing, and a few months later, I discovered faith, which helped me feel whole again. A year later, I met my current boyfriend—and for the first time, I truly believed I could move on and leave that chapter behind me.
But recently, the same “friend” has started threatening to tell him everything. I don’t want to live in fear or lies anymore. I don’t want him to hear this twisted version of my past from someone who only wants to hurt me. I want to tell him myself.
The problem is—I’m terrified. What if this changes the way he sees me? What if he leaves? What if I ruin the only good thing I have?
But I also know that if I truly love him (and I do), he deserves honesty. I never planned on telling anyone—I thought I could take this to the grave. But the past has a way of resurfacing, and I’d rather face it on my own terms.
If you were in his shoes… would this change everything for you?
I’m not that girl anymore. I’ve worked so hard to become someone I can be proud of. But I don’t know if he’ll still see me the same way once he knows.
Thanks for listening.
TL;DR:
When I was 17, I was in a really dark place and made choices I deeply regret. I’ve worked hard to heal and grow, and now I’m in a healthy relationship. But someone from my past is threatening to expose that part of my life, so I’m trying to tell my boyfriend before they do—I’m just terrified it might change how he sees me.
Phrasing and use of chatgpt was for translation purpose. English is not my native. I just really need to vent about this.
Comments
Nice, I could spot the work of ChatGPT just from the title!
If you have a decent reason to produce your content with AI, you should explain it in your post. Otherwise this is just going to get flagged as a nonsense AI post.