I (21 female) went on a date with this 22 year old guy off hinge. Everything started off fine, he asked me a lot of questions about my ambitions and what I want with my life which I thought was a green flag. Im a theoretical physics student and he is an aerospace student so I thought we’d have common ground.
Stuff started getting weird when we started talking about religion. I am from a muslim background but I don’t practice, he is a christian. I love hearing about other peoples religious beliefs and views on life so this doesn’t really bother me (after this experience maybe it should idk) . We were talking about free will, he asked me for my hand and I gave it to him. He held my hand and said he could slap me with his hand right now but he’s choosing not to because god is all good and has told him the objective right and wrong (wasn’t the exact words but this is what was implied) I felt a bit uncomfortable with that since it felt like I was meant to feel threatened by him being able to slap me. Like why was that even brought up. But I ignored it and I tried to change the topic.
I started asking him about his family and how many siblings he has. He had 3 siblings all of which were boys. I have sisters and a brother, so I asked him if he would have liked to have a sister. I got the weirdest reaction ever. He said “thank god”. I immediately felt so uncomfortable. I asked why, and he started explaining how he’s so petty and that he’s heard from other people that women are pettier, and how the week of our period we’re very petty and just a bunch of bullshit about women being petty and him not being able to handle it. Obviously didn’t let that one slide and immediately started telling him how I don’t agree and I thought he was being unreasonable. I think he caught on that I was visibly upset, so he dug himself in a deeper hole. He started talking about how hitting women was wrong and how he couldn’t hit his sister if she pisses him off, and how his younger male siblings feel threatened by him. So then I asked “so the reason you don’t want a sister is because you can’t hit them when you’re upset with them” and he said it is what it is (or something like that but he didn’t disagree)
I asked to go home after that. I was so uncomfortable and disappointed. I tried explaining to him how us women literally just want to be treated like humans rather than sub species. He wasn’t hearing what I was saying and tbh I was tired of it at this point.
It’s been too many times ive had the same if not similar experience with the men ive dated. I feel so objectified/ dehumanised by the men in my life. Will this ever change? Are there men out there that don’t think of this shit?