I(30M) was bullied throughout my whole school career. Up until I got to college. I am a small man, only 5’4. And I was even shorter back then. The bullying got so bad that my parents had to make me move schools twice. I was quiet, never said a word to anyone but my family. But all the other boys were bigger than me and I’d be physically bullied. The worst situation being 5 boys from my school jumping me when I was walking home in 4th grade. I remember their names, their faces, and the things they said to me that day. I remember it like it was yesterday.
I’m married now, and my husband knows that I was bullied and is trying to help me get over it. But he doesn’t really understand, you know? He’s never been bullied as he’s very big in height and stature so, no one wanted to mess with him. I feel like no one gets why I can’t get over it. The bullying ruined my life and I wake up very scared thinking about it. I was so very lonely.
I’m a father now, too. And I want to homeschool my son to ensure that he isn’t traumatized the way I was.
I admit, I do take it out on others. I put on an angry front and sometimes snap at people who mean well but I do it to keep people from being mean to me/bullying me. An example: I was at the bar with my older sister a while ago and some college looking kids were laughing at something. And I automatically assumed it was at me as I was wearing a new shirt I wasn’t really sure about. But I didn’t do anything yet. When one of them glanced at me, I went off. This confirmed it in my head that it was me they were laughing at. And the kicker is that they didn’t say anything back, they just looked at me. My sister had to drag me out and she said that I called one of the guys the name of one of my old bullies but I don’t remember doing so. I probably did.
I wish I could get over it. I don’t have many friends. The ones I do have were bullied very badly as kids also. I don’t really let people in and I push them away before they can hurt me. I want to be free from it all. I can go on and on with stories of me being bullied. I just want the pain to stop affecting me
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Dude. Stop feeling sorry for your self. No one is coming to help you. You have to take ownership. Everyone has bad shit happen to them in their life.
Get into adult sports or organized martial arts.
Make an appointment with a therapist, this is no way to go through life.
I feel like I’m reading about myself. I’m 42m and the kicker is, my husband says he was one of the bullies in high school. Because he was gay and well…I don’t have to explain it. You already understand.
From 3rd grade through senior year…horrific. I totally get it. I still remember names, faces, what they did and said.
Until I was mid-20’s, anytime I was in public and heard someone laughing, I just knew they were laughing at me.
I get it. I’m here if you wanna chat. I wasn’t small, I was 5’11”, but no muscle mass at all and wasn’t a fighter anyhow. I was a total twink and an easy target.
The first step in moving past it is digging deep and realizing the many ways it affected you, your development, your entire thought process. Sounds like you are beginning those steps now.
Ain’t gonna sugarcoat shit here .
I was bullied both physically , sexually touched inappropriate and mentally by my “friends” and school mates , for both my race ( I am a Greek russian ) and my looks as I also was very small and generally just was a lot more innocent than most and didn’t get adult jokes or even knew what adhd and stuff was .
Everyone goes through tough shit but we gotta acknowledge it and move on in our lives. I also had a a hard time with people laughing at me or near me and what really helped me was getting rid of the main character /victim mentality.
While feeling like a victim in this situation is quite natural you gotta move on and that FAST ! While I was able to pull me out of that mentality I saw peers of mine drown in it and become miserable .
Now that I think back to it , those people are embarrassing.
I was never a victim , and so are you. Life coincidently chose you and me and a lot more to go trough bs so that we can become better versions of ourselves instead of drowing in the thought that we are such sad and badly treated creatures that deserve love and recognition.
They let you people have kids jfc 🤦🏻♂️
You react and get over what you choose to.
You were bullied, guess what so we’re a lot of us.
And some of us didn’t have parents to help protect us and some of us actually got bullied and abused by our parents.
You get to be the.
Person that you want to be if you’re an ass hole that’s because you’re taking the easy way out and choosing to be an asshole. What’s funny is when you act like a jerk?People will just see Napoleon syndrome and you’re making it worse on yourself.
Go to therapy and get help.But stop being a victim.You make the choice of how you react. You being bullied did not cause this.You making excuses is what’s causing this
Dude smoke pot, lots of pot. No one should live in anger like that I’m like 5’6″ and my insecurity has fucked me over too, but don’t become angry those were dumb kids and granted a lot of these kids do become dumb adults but most don’t. You have to realize that most of those guys who traumatized you barely remember you if not maybe with a little guilt, but you have let it become half of everything you are. If you don’t better yourself for yourself do it for your kid because they deserve public school and a chance at social skills you were stunted in. I’m no cool dude and it took me many years but for the most part I’m happy with myself and who I am and it took a lot to get here and I’m still growing. Don’t feed into negativity most people suffer silent battles and have nothing to do with your story and they don’t deserve it.
Can you see your current self in those people from the past? Those people were compelled to do that due to their own pain, trauma. Some were just weak, thoughtless followers. And they suck, too. But the main ones were really messed up emotionally.
Try mindfulness to help slow down your reactions in those moments. In time, you will be able to see those thoughts without letting them take over. You will get more insight into bullies as you learn more about how thought and emotion can be triggered and spiral, etc.
You need proper therapy
Don’t let those bullies take another day of your life. Get into therapy. Go until you find someone who helps you, it can take a few tries. You deserve to live a happy life for the rest of your days. Best wishes.
You sound like you have PTSD. I would see a professional if I were you, just to help you process it. The main thing is that you’re safe now. You’re an adult and you can protect yourself in ways your younger self couldn’t. Don’t rub off on your kids. Let them enjoy their life while you find new meaning in yours.
Sounds like you have ptsd to me, but I am not a medical professional. Repeat IAM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. But get yourself some therapy. i was constantly bullied at home & at school. Therapy so help it really does.
It’s probably because you get stressed out, and it feels uncomfortable. For me, I have been avoiding certain places and people, but sometimes I figure that I am actually trying to flow in the moment without paying much attention to other people. I may stress if they look behind my back, but my business is to go in different places to experience different things. Otherwise I would just miss out. I get in rude situations sometimes, but keeping boundaries is always an option.
Deep inside tough, you may feel regret because how your life turned out because of bullying- but you can change the way you see yourself. You can get more stronger and courageous if start learning what is it about. Sometimes you just have to start trusting yourself to go more higher than usual.
U know what u need to do !
I went through a ton of childhood trauma all the way up until I was around 22-23. abuse at home, molestation, bullying at school, always the new kid, SA, chubby kid, SA…. you get the point, so yeah I got mean, I became an emt/firefighter and got harassment there also. There wasn’t a lot of females in that position then but it made me trust people even less. I’ll admit that even now in my early 40s I’m still pretty closed off, I don’t have a lot of friends, divorced, and when I first meet people I treat them pretty coldly until I decide if their worth my “friendliness” i guess you could say. I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor but I think my point is, no matter what, the damage does still last to a point so don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel like you’re not making enough progress or fast enough. I’m trying to work on opening up more and i think it’s getting a little better.
You’re going to traumatise your child/ren with this. You need to do better and get help.
Dude. You’re 30.
Guess what. Lots of us were bullied.
We grew a pair. Got over it and moved on with life.
Stop playing the victim and STFU.
Be strong. Be a man. Stop dwelling on shit that doesn’t matter.
Only the future matters.
Go out and live it!
>He’s never been bullied as he’s very big in height and stature so, no one wanted to mess with him
Not true at all. Haven’t you heard of the trope where the new prisoner picks a fight with the biggest guy in order to prove themselves? People are like that in real life too.
Not trying to invalidate your lived experience but the grass is always greener as they say.
Gay and short? Pick a struggle