I’m a 15 year old girl who’s never been drop dead gorgeous. I’m not going to fish for compliments but how can I come to terms with being ugly. My best friend is gorgeous, guys hit on her left and right. Shes surrounded by guys and every time we try to get a friend for him to bring they decline, her man today literally said I was ugly. Now I have felt really good lately. I’ve put effort into my appearance. I’ve done makeup, or been perfectly free of makeup. I’ve lost weight. I’m around 115 pounds at 5’4 , maybe big I don’t know. I thought I had some attractiveness, I have blue eyes and a small nose with medium length and shaded brown hair. But today was the first time I’d been called ugly by someone who I have no issues with. And now I believe it’s true. It was brutal and I might just be emotional from hormones or some shit but i actually feel ugly. My friends compliment me but every guy i go out with says they’d rather my bsf. Like how can I just lose all feelings for my looks and for comments like that. Because this is the first time in forever I’ve actually been hurt from being called ugly.
Edit1: i appreciate all the stories and shared experiences. It did make me feel better but I’m in that dumb teenage phase where I want a boys positive opinion. I can recognize it’s dumb but I’d still feel bad if not worse if a girl insulted me. I can recognize the whole boy-approval and boyfriends are kinda dumb and no guy wants an insecure girl so I’ve been trying to feel better and I really started too until today. Also I want to say that the statement my friends man made about me. Was random. No insults. No playful beefing or jealousy. Just a brutally honest statement out of the blue.
Comments
Sorry you’re dealing with this. Imo you don’t sound ugly, and you’re taking an effort to better yourself which is good. Either way, keep it up because guys who solely want a girl for looks isn’t usually the guy you want.
You’re 15. As a person who was once 15, understand that you will not look the same forever.
Hey
Don’t ever risk your health just to be appealing.
And don’t get so down
Maybe you are not objectively beautiful
Maybe people won’t stare at you and think she’s cute.
But you can still get compliments like
“That dress looks good on you”
“That earring suits you”
“You are funny”
“I like your company”
These can also mean a lot.
Edit: And don’t be with someone who judges you by looks
As you grow older you can find people who care less about how physically attractive you are.
At 15 you are going to change so much. I absolutely hated myself at 15 and still look back at photos with shock. Your face structure will change your bone density and structure in your body will change. You’ll find a hundred different styles to try. When I was 15 I used to cry over how bad I felt and how I wasn’t like my peers. What you are feeling is so real and valid. At 15 what you are is all you’ve known so it can feel very final but you’ve got so many changes that are going to happen in the next 5 years that might make you feel like a completely different person.
I had a glow up in my late teens/ early 20s and again in my 30s. Our faces are always changing and as we age, we get my confident in our skin. I know the teenage years are tough, but hang in there. Confidence and being a good person is more beautiful than any facial features.
Sometimes, the pretty people at your age grow up and become ugly. Sometimes the people who aren’t as conventionally attractive, grow up to be very attractive.
What you see isn’t all there is. You’re young, focus on the type of person you want to become. Have fun, meet friends, be the best of yourself without worrying about this stuff. I realize it’s not as easy as it sounds. Just don’t define your worth based on these metrics alone. The importance of someone’s attractiveness in contrast with their character, sense of humor, likes and dislikes, standards, etc matter so much more and could in fact attract people regardless of your looks.
I don’t speak for everyone else, but what’s on the inside is what really matters. Yea looks are cool, but they don’t last. What’s inside lasts forever. Walk around with confidence and that you’re beautiful no matter what anyone else says. What you think about yourself other people will pick up on it. So believe you’re a confident beautiful woman.
I look nothing like I did at 15 and I’m 26 now. You’ll be ok. Most people don’t recognize me and I unfortunately still live in my hometown
As someone who felt like you do when I was 15 , we change, especially as we age , I think it’s worse for kids today as social media is everywhere. Beautiful women with filters all over the place. I promise it gets better.
You are beautiful as you.
TLC – Unpretty.
Give it a listen
https://youtu.be/g2gy1Evb1Kg?si=MJIz4OEIbMACzz8Q
That person who said it to you is a piece of shit and is ugly on the inside, where it counts.
You’re still young and will grow into yourself in a few years. Just wait until your mid to late 20’s and you’ll look back at yourself in this transitional period.
I looked like straight ass in my youth. Now I’m feeling weird about compliments since i had a “glow up.” Best part is that i never got that inflated ego since i wasn’t born into a model quality existence.
You’ll be just fine
LOL 1st most girls who says they are ugly . .there are not ..
secondly, u will be shocked how many girls I knew were stuffing in 13-15 and others not beautiful .. how things reversed at 20s
The truth is that young adults your age are mean and lack empathy. They are superficial and don’t understand the value of a good personality. Trust me, as you get older and your dating pool expands to more mature men, they will see in you a beauty that doesn’t fade with time. Also, there is someone (or many tbh) who will see the traits you consider ugly and to them will it’ll look like the most beautiful traits they’ve ever seen. I promise you there is a flavor to you that your local boys might not appreciate, but there are plenty who will. I am also considered objectively unattractive while my sisters are model material, I constantly hear people our age say in disbelief: “You’re related? How?” And while that hurt a lot at the time, once i grew up, there were plenty of women who thought I was attractive and more importantly loved the person I am. There’s a reason why people who focus on looks are called shallow. Over time, their good looks will dry up, and only a hard bed of stones will remain. Instead, work on yourself so that when you get older, a beautiful ocean will still be there, and your future partner will bask in its depths.
I would have called myself ugly at 15 for the same reasons. You’re not big and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just dealing with teenaged boys. As you grow up you’ll realize there are people out there who think you’re gorgeous.
I went from a cute kid to an ugly teen to a decent 20s-30s to a plain 40s. Looks change. You need to learn how to work your assets and divert attention from your flaws. Choose colors that look good on you. Get a haircut that compliments your face structure. Learn makeup techniques that compliment you. These are things I wish I had learned as a teen but I didn’t have any female role model growing up so I was basically a dude in a girl’s body lol.
You are taking 15 years old boys seriously? Stop right there. When I was in high school, nobody wanted to date me. None. I was even told I was not thin enough nor did I look like a model. Looking back, I was drop dead gorgeous. I wasn’t chubby or rail thin. I wasn’t tall. I just didn’t fit the porn star or model standard. After I graduated high school, I got hit on left and right ALL THE TIME. Men begged me to go on dates with them. One even cried. Ive had stalkers who wouldn’t leave me alone. What Im saying is, don’t take teenage boys seriously. They expect women to look like the internet girls with all the filters and photoshop and puts out for sex. I didnt put out then. Even the ugly ones in high school who put out were still sought after. Dont put out. Dont rush into relationships. Even if you truly aren’t good looking, someone who will like you, will like you for who you are. You dont want those shallow fuckboys.
Life is unfortunately unfair. The only good thing is, with age, you start to get over how superficial it is and you realize how little many things (such as these unfortunate details) matter, and how much people can suck.
Be healthy, live a healthy life and do the things that interest you, as much as you can. That is all you need. And do not take insults from anyone, doesn’t matter if they are “true”.
It’s tough out there…
Look, everyone would be hurt if they were called ugly, and there’s no some magic wise words I can say that are gonna remove the feeling of being down right now.
You do what you can with what you have. Comparing yourself is a waste of time, but it’s also hard to avoid.
What you are experiencing is part of the real world experience. Some people get one thing, others get another.
You can always dwell on not getting what someone else is, or you can be awed by the fact that you are alive and get to live as many things as you do.
Welcome to the real life club.
You’re not ugly. One thing to understand is you will never be everyone’s cup of tea, no matter how hard you try.
When I was 17, I overheard one of my boyfriend’s friends ask him who he was dating. When he said me, his friend made a disgusted face and said “Ew, her?!?!? She’s so ugly!”
To say I was devastated would be an understatement.
I’m 42 now, and the number of people who’ve told me I’m pretty far outweighs the single comment from that high school loser who said I was ugly.
My husband’s nickname for me is “Hot Stuff”, and he tells me I’m beautiful every single day.
If I ran into High School Loser Boy today, would he still say I’m ugly? Most likely. But that’s a him problem, not a me problem.
Sorry that happened to you. The years you’re living are difficult in so many ways. 15 was 15 years ago for me and I definitely remember having similar feelings at times, many times. I was never “ugly” but I always thought I was much more than many people around me. It wasn’t the case, but I let myself believe, probably due to a comment or two some jerk around me said. This seems to be what happened to you, it sucks. You don’t describe yourself as ugly at all, and neither was it. It was mental. I had no problems getting girlfriends, many I thought were even way out of my league as far as looks go. By the time I was 20 I got with the girl I had always wanted, we’ve been happily together since. They didn’t care about my flaws, we all have them. Be a good person, stay healthy and don’t do anything drastic to yourself. You’ll be just fine, learn to love yourself! There will always be nasty people in your life, that will never change, they aren’t worth your time.
A final little story. In grade 9 I had bad acne and it made me very self conscious. One of my best friends made fun of me before summer break. My acne cleared up in those two months and when I saw him at the beginning of grade 10 he had it….much much worse.
Ugh people suck.
I was the ugly sister growing up with three older sisters. This was something that was bluntly said to me many times by family and family friends. (I look like our dad, they look like our mum) It sucked lol but I found out what worked for me in my 20s (which helped my self esteem of course but still struggled) and then had a total glow up in my mid 30s. (I’m 38)
Give it time. You are SO young. You won’t be surrounded by assholes forever.
You sound like an average looking girl, which is good. You also sound like you’re lacking confidence. I’ve had phases in my life where I focus a lot on my physical appearance, and that’s when I usually feel the least attractive because I’m so focused on what people think of me. When I stop worrying about how I look and what people think of me and just be myself and enjoy the present moment, people tend to find me a lot more charismatic and are drawn to me (at least from what I can tell). I think the law of detachment has some truth to it; once you detach yourself from certain outcomes, they actually start happening.
You sound just like me at 15. I’m 31 now.
When I look back at pictures, I can see now that I was pretty, my brain and other people just sucked. My friend asked her boyfriend if he had any friends that I could hang out with and he said, “My friends don’t do ugly chicks.” He was just being a douche. I thought my best friend was soooooo pretty, and looking back, we both were! We are always our own toughest critics.
I never thought I’d get married because I was so “ugly” but now I have the best husband in the world, he can’t get enough of me. There is always hope. I promise you that.
15 is a hard age, especially with the way the world is now. What’s inside will always be more important than what’s on the outside, even if it doesn’t feel that way.
I’m a guy, but hey, I can relate. I was a late bloomer and didn’t come into my looks until I was well into my 20s. In High School and College my homies were seemingly surrounded by girls while I was getting pretty much completely ignored. Shit hurt, but honestly looking back at some old pics, I can see why. I looked like a lanky awkward teenager even in University. Most of the homies looked like whole ass men by the time they were 17 or 18, it took me until I was like 22 or 23.
To put it simply, you’re only 15. You’ve got plenty of time. The teenage years tend to be brutal for alot of people.
I had my glow up at 24-31 my friend was 15-26 I’ve just had another glow up the last year I turn 40 in 4 months you change all the time give yourself a break and also don’t rush into dating plenty of time 🥰
Please don’t ever listen to teen boys opinions EVER!! (Coming from a 21 y/o).
These will be the same pricks in your dm’s later believe me! Also, men are sheep, they follow each other constantly, ESPECIALLY teens! If 1 maybe thinks you’re not THAT attractive, the whole group will follow and even make it 10 times worse, why? Because they crave other male validation more than having their own mind and opinion
I hated how I looked at 15. And also during all of middle school and up until I was 17 really. I have my dad’s nose which I thought was big and ugly, I had acne which I hated, and no boys ever told me they liked me.
15 is a weird age. Especially now with social media constantly have you compare yourself to people. But I’m telling you, once you realize that who you are and what you look like is out of your control and you learn to accept your insecurity’s, then that’s when you’ll truly find yourself beautiful and truthfully that’s what matters.
It does feel nice getting complimented because it lets us know that someone besides our self thinks we are beautiful, but beauty if very different for everyone and in high school it’s very surface based. Whoever called you ugly is truly insecure themselves and felt that they needed to make someone feel the same way they do and I’m very sorry you had to hear that.
You are not ugly. The boys are immature 15 year olds that are unaware of what they are saying and have no conscience. Be yourself and don’t listen to what they have to say.
All i can say is as a guy even I’ve had that situation and trust me ..by 17 and 19 ur gonna look completely different of watever u look. The puberty and changes r gonna go rapid and do a glow up…if ur a late bloomer than maybe in ur early 20s but if ur gonna curse urself n cry bout it atm.. i can’t help u bout it. Only u can.
I did come to terms that i was ugly but as time passed …I think some girls did find me decent (tho idk I’m bad at socializing n get awkwarded by it ) but with terms of why tf would girl like me.. I’m ugly af.. but trust me.. it takes time for u realise the changes in u..other notice it sooner.
N being called ugly..we don’t know the context, were y’all just bitching or roasting each other.
No matter how beautiful you are, there will always be somebody else who is more beautiful than you. If you always compare yourself to others then you will never feel pretty no matter how pretty that you actually are.
As someone who was once a 15 year old girl that was not the most attractive or popular I feel you, my best friend at the time was literally a model which made it very difficult to feel pretty or feel like I was worth anything compared to her or others, but just know that you won’t feel this way forever, and also your 15, you are not gonna look the way you do forever, your face and body have so much more developing to do
Don’t worry about it, if you eat healthy and work out (just lightly is enough) guys will probably swarm you in like 5-6 years. You’re still too young, don’t overthink and focus on yourself.
A lot of teens look kinda goofy, but they usually have a glowup in their 20s. I bet you’re not as ugly as you think you are. Why don’t you add a pic and let us decide?
You are not done growing yet. Your face is going to change. Your body will change. Be your most authentic self and don’t worry about what others think. When the time comes, you will come o yo your own
Age 15, you’re still developing. Most of us go through an awkward phase as teenagers. I hated my appearance when I was that age, but looking back, I realize I was really cute. 115 pounds is very thin. I doubt that you are actually ugly, and that was a horrible thing for this guy to say.
I also can feel your pain being overshadowed by your best friend. I went through the same thing in HS. My best friend was not only gorgeous, but she was very confident and outgoing. I was shy with rather low confidence, so I always felt like I was in her shadow while I watched guys constantly shower her with attention and admiration. It’s hard.
I ended my friendship with her about a year after college based on her behavior. She’s not a bad person, but I came to the realization that she was self-centered and I deserved better from a friend. (BTW she ended up marrying a guy who is mid.)
The advice I can give is A) You have your own unique qualities. Everyone might be focused on her right now, but you’ll find your way in the world over time, and you’ll realize she is not superior to you, just different from you. B) you are likely better-looking than you believe now, and your looks will likely improve in the next few years. C) no matter what you look like, if you tell yourself you’re ugly, you will believe that you’re ugly.
Everyone has something they don’t like about themselves at age 15. Who do you look like? I bet there’s a movie star somewhere that looks at least a little like you do. Keep that in mind, you are a movie star.
The vast majority of people are not gorgeous at 15. Yes there are exceptions, but there’s a reason there’s so many glow up photos on the internet. A combination of finishing puberty and figuring out how to be a human will help a lot. But I’m sure you look fine.
Don’t stress. Look after your health and hygiene and everything else will figure itself out in time. Don’t put too much stock in the opinion of teenage guys, I know, I used to be one.
Lastly, always remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You can be someone who society thinks is beautiful, average, or ugly, but it’s pretty much a guarantee that there will always be people who find you attractive and people who don’t, no matter what you look like.
Also do not take comments like that to heart from teenage boys, they know nothing.
Literally same dude, gonna turn 20 this year and i still feel the same way
so firstly, at 15, why are you on reddit? Just seems like an odd place for a 15 year old to be.
Secondly, i myself have also never found myself attractive, and many people would also tell me such as well. Sure, i had relationships but they were always short lived. the kind where they want something and when they either learn they won’t get it, or they DO get it, they leave.
My mother also never helped. She always used to say i have an “exotic beauty” which was worse for obvious reasons. Made me feel so much worse, and also really uncomfortable. (i learned later the uncomfortable was actually because I’m a man 🤣)
So honestly, and this may not be what you want to hear, but forget about it. I’m serious. Don’t think about it. Don’t give it space in your mind. Just live in a way that makes you happy. If that’s putting on makeup, then do it. You will not be alone forever, despite how it may seem to your mind right now. You’ll find someone who values you as a person and WILL find you beautiful. You will find that person. It may take time but you will. And in the mean time, work on self love.
I’m 26 years old and still working on that, but that’s because i have a lot of trauma associated with bullying and a general negative self view for most of my life.
High school ends, kiddo. always remember that.
you are still young to be worried this much girl
Okay let me tell you how it works. Attractive baby. Ugly kid super effing hot attractive adult
Feeling ugly as a teenager is a horrible feeling that feels like it can take over your whole life but please take it from me, feeling like that is A WASTE OF TIME and the more you feel shit about yourself, the more mental and emotional issues you develop.
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
What do you like to do? What skill would you like to develop? Imagine you are old, what would you wish you had spent your time doing? Because trust me when I say you wont wish you had spent time feeling shit about yourself and you definitely wont wish you’d wasted time trying to impress shallow boys. You’ll look back on your youth one day and realise how bloody cute you were and how hard you were on yourself. Better to learn how to be kind to yourself now than waste years trying to unlearn bad thought habits.
Also: boys are IDIOTS
Ok i get u… With social media nd unachievable beauty standards u can feel that way.. But know this.. U hve not completely grown up.. Give it time when ur 20+ u will be satisfied with ur appearance trust me on this.. Give it yrs nd instead of focusing on dating nd looks.. Make urself happy? Do things u like, spend time w ppl u love, get a job even there is so much to do… Cuz honestly ur features has got nothing on u… It’s ultimately the confidence nd the way u carry urself.. Build that up instead.. It will get better..
Yep I was a late bloomer. Girls used to call me Steve urkel n shit. Don’t let it ruin your personality. Alot of that shit turned me into the demon I am today lol
Just wait. I felt awful all through school, was bigger than my friends and peers and taller than them until we were about 14. I was never a skinny girl and never popular, but heck, out of school I was suddenly VERY IN DEMAND.
School is the worst place for boyfriends. I know it seems really dumb to you now, but honestly, just focus on your studies, staying fit and healthy and doing the best for yourself. Your own self worth will build from those things, and by the time you leave school you’ll be unstoppable 💖
I fully believe I’m ugly as sin but I have a boyfriend who calls me pretty and loves me. I don’t think anyone had ever called me pretty before that.
You’re only 15. Don’t worry about these things at your age. Personality is really what matters
At 15 guys are careless and stupid and dumb and angry and idiots. It’s quite regular for all guys go chase after who they deem the prettiest one in the group. His throwaway comment to you was something he probably barely even though about yet now you’re dealing with the consequences. You also have a lot of growing to do, you will change in many ways, try out different styles, and become yourself as a woman in the future. Please don’t fixate on one comment from a cruel boy who may have had nothing more than a bad day. You are way more than that comment. It’s great to develop your personality and interests, they do really matter, but also do not just label yourself ugly over this.
I was ugly until I went through puberty a second time in my 20s. Be patient.
Omg you’re a teenager. You have not peaked yet. Maybe you’ll peak later in life. Your best friend is probably peaking now lol. Please, you don’t wanna be drop dead gorgeous at 15, save that for your 30s – trust me.
Teenagers should be awkward looking. You’re still a kid in ways.
Honestly most girls don’t get gorgeous until they become women, after their mid 20s.
Don’t worry about it, seriously just enjoy your youth. If you really wanna look stunning while you’re young then do some looksmaxxing, and also don’t forget personality maxxing.
Don’t worry.. Even toothless crack whores find love.
“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
― Roald Dahl, The Twits
He’s ugly on the inside. You could straight up say to him: “I may be ugly, but you’re ugly on the inside, and that’s what really counts” and walk off and he’ll be a laughing stock.
Remember that guys also get anxious about things like sex, and that quite possibly when they are asked whether they’d like to get together with you, they are just to shy and unselfconfident to cope with the pressure of being put on the spot like that with all their friends knowing about it. It’s quite likely that some (or all) of them actually really quite fancy you … and have enjoyed some “private thoughts” about you. And that’s not weird or pervy, it’s just how people are and what they do.
If one of them actually likes you in a serious way, they will be even more reluctant to get involved on some kind of setup type situation where everyone can laugh at them if they show their emotional side and get hurt.
People said things to me at your age that hurt me in a similar way, but later on I had times where I was just getting loads of compliments and attention, and I realised that I was the person who everyone else wanted to be. I know that may sound big-headed, but for a while back there it really was like that for me. And I’m an ugly mug! Hehe.
So much of what makes a person “attractive” is their persona – their personality, behaviour, attitudes, and more ephemeral things like clothes, hair, makeup (not necessary at all btw but you do you) …
Nothing is sexier than self-confidence, but if you’re the quiet shy type? Guess what, a lot of people are drawn to that too. There’s something cosy about being quiet with someone and just hanging out.
Tolstoy said that for a woman to be truly beautiful, she had to have a flaw. Something like a big nose or wonky teeth. Perfection is boring. To be truly magnetic, you need to be unique. You’re not a plastic doll or a cartoon woman. I once had a very old boyfriend from my teen years recognise me at a concert and he said “I’d have known that nose anywhere!”. We ended up going out for dinner the following week and he gave me a necklace, which my daughter now has. We are still in touch nearly 30 years after that meeting.
So don’t worry about it.
Oh and when he said you were ugly? He may just be trying to impress his girlfriend, or his friends, or playing a role to hide the fact he actually finds you attractive. People say stupid things sometimes. Maybe he’s regretting it now because he realises it was cruel. Don’t assume anything.
Hope it helps.
Hey, take this from someone who struggled being ugly till I was 15 then I had a random glowup and here’s how I did it I’m 16 now btw. But I wouldn’t worry about all that your ugly drama I would focus on your self like you said you’ve been putting effort into your appearance and that’s good that’s what I did too I started taking care of my body. But maybe just doing the things you love can distract it and just do things that make you happy. Trust me you’ll have mean people telling your ugly trust me ive had too it’s just a part of life your gonna meet some nasty people in life. But all that matters is just stay true to your self. Everyone’s beautiful in their own way and you’ll find that one person who makes you feel special it’s bound to happen so don’t stress about it and plus your still young and so am I your body is still going through changes so don’t worry. Hope this helps and sorry for the yap just I’ve struggled through this before and it hurts to see others do too just know your not alone🩷
I barely remember 15, I was never handsome, just not elephantman either. You have to become comfortable being yourself.
You’ll glow up. I was ugly when I was in my teens, I glow up on my mid 20’s. Just take of yourself and don’t think much on what other people think about you, I used to do that and when I took care and love myself even more that’s the time I glow up.
You’re 15. You still have a lot of time. I often called “living blackened stick” when I was a teenager.
The first compliment I have regarding my appearance is after I graduated college. And even by then, I still denied them.
My advice? Take care of your skin. I’m not talking about skin brightening or anything like that.
I mean moisturize your skin regularly, use sunscreen.
If you have acne, go to the dermatologist. If you have crooked teeth, go to the dentist. Take care of yourself.
Loving myself took time. Hell, it took me decades.
Few years ago I look at photographs when I was in my teenage years. Tbh, I didn’t look that bad actually. Sometimes, the harshest critics are ourselves. So, be easy on yourself.
I’m 32f just as an FYI. Sorry for the ramble, but I am a rambler at heart.
Don’t concern yourself on other people’s opinions about your looks or health (obviously try and look after yourself to the best of your ability). Just concentrate on yourself and try to be happy as you are. You can always improve things as you go along, and there is no rush. Life is all about the journey and not the destination at the end of the day. Eventually, you’ll meet someone who thinks you’re perfect the way you are and if you don’t? Hopefully, you’ll have a cracking personality, a good job, and a happy life.
Externally, beauty will come and go, but a good heart is the true treasure in life.
The odds are, you’re not ugly. Teenagers suc. You’re all full of these hormones and emotions with a limited capability on controlling them.
Also, remember your worth. Don’t let anyone try and convince you that you’re not worthy or you deserve crappy behaviour. It took my 17 years to learn that, so try and learn from my mistake.
Goodluck for the future, I hope it’s full of love and happiness for you.