I’m 28(F) and my boyfriend is 30(M).
We have been together for about three years now. He is amazing honestly, checks all those boxes, but i do feel like something is missing… that chemistry. I moved to another country for work and for him and we moved in together immediately. In hindsight I see that the excitement of the big move is what i thought was that chemistry/spark in the relationship. He treats me very well, helps around the house ect but i just can’t shake this feeling thats something is missing. I do love him a lot but i wouldn’t say im inlove. (please don’t come for me in the comments- i genuinely love the boy or else i would not have stayed with him)
I have dated in the past and though ive never been inlove – i remember feeling that excitement and giddiness which i don’t feel for my partner. I love him for sure and he loves me. We both have a lot of trust and respect in the relationship and we are very compatible in terms of our goals, values, family, and lifestyle ect.
He has done nothing really wrong, but i feel that a lot of the things in our relationship are all provoked or driven by me (celebrations, birthdays, dates, holidays, gifts). We have never celebrated an anniversary actually.
Though I feel like i can overlook those things. I am really unsure about if i can overlook this thing that is missing. This passion. He is rather stoic and I don’t know if that passion can or will ever come if it hasn’t already. This has lead me to doubt our relationship in the past. I did communicate all this with him but things have not changed.
I’m now again suddenly experiencing immense doubt and i’m not sure if i should walk away from this life we built for a type of feeling or love or something that might not even exist. I’ve never been inlove and want to experience it. But in todays day and age i am actually not confident i could find it out there.
Has anyone been through something similar? Should i forget about the chemistry and stay in a solid secure relationship? Or go out there and find what true love feels like?
TL;DR : I love my boyfriend but im not inlove with him. He treats me really well and for the most part we have a good relationship. Should i throw it away to experience what it’s like to be inlove- even though it’s not a guarantee i will find that love.