I posted here a few months ago so if you want the full back story, I would recommend having a look at it but TLDR; I have been no contact with my in laws for 5+ years due to MIL going around telling people that I am an alcoholic abuser who sponges off her son.
Current situation: GMIL (FIL’s mother) passed away this week. This woman was an absolute gem and while I am happy she is no longer in pain, I am sad that the world has lost such a beauty. Her funeral is this weekend and I will be going to support my partner. My current issue is I am still NC with my in laws. I am only going for the mass and burial and leaving before the afters so I can minimise exposure to MIL. I dont know what to expect going into this. To be honest the only person that I truly have an issue with and do not want to deal with is MIL. Nothing has changed since my previous post and apparently FIL is apparently trying to extend an olive branch to me by being as welcoming as possible. They even offered that I could say in their home oevernight since they are assuming I will be going to the afters (lol).
I just wanted to ask how others who have been NC but had to go to an in law event have navigated the situation. I don’t want to cause a scene (and I know she would be counting on that) but I also will not throw my self respect out of the window, rug sweep and be pulled into a situation I dont want to be in. What do I do when I have to see her? What if she tries to hug me? What if she tries to be over familiar or play pretend that everything is just rosy between us?
As you can probably tell, I am an anxious mess but please do not suggest I not go to the funeral. I want to go and support my fiance. My fight or flight reflex often surprises me because sometimes I freeze but other times, I may blow up. So any advice or phrases that I can practise before the event would be much appreciated.