I’ve made a few posts about my in-law’s and our issues, especially surrounding our child we recently adopted. We’ve been no contact with entire husband’s side of the family for several months and didn’t ever plan on visiting or speaking again.
Husband’s grandpa who he is very close with is dying and sadly not going to make it much longer. I’ve tried to put my feelings aside about them and be supportive for the sake of my husband and grandpa who has been nothing but kind to me.
My husband still wants no contact with them as hasn’t talked to them regarding this, just them sending updates with no response. We thought about flying in for the day to say goodbye to grandpa and flying right back out, no talking with any other family. Husband didn’t want to reach out to his mom to ask hospital room number and realistically how soon we need to be there as all of his cousins are coming to town to do so.
I gave his mom a call and surprisingly she told me that he is doing very bad but that they didn’t want us to visit. I mentioned if it were to be this week I and our baby would be able to come (didn’t offer visit with them), anything past that would just be husband. It sounded like baby and I were not wanted there. I told my husband about the call and he has decided he will not go period to say goodbye or the funeral and continuing no contact.
I feel so bad because I know he is really hurt and torn not saying goodbye to the only family member he has left who is truly so nice. What do you think I should do to help support? Sending a letter to him? He doesn’t have a phone so that won’t work. Sending flowers? I’m just at a loss here. I know my husband’s doing this in support of them treating me and our son awful which is so great but I don’t want him to regret not going.