My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months, known each other for roughly six. This relationship used to feel perfect, we’re so compatible and haven’t had any issues other than what I’m about to explain. He has a female best friend (coworker) who’s married with kids, and I genuinely don’t have a problem with her or them hanging out. They hang out often. They binge watch shows. I know they’re close and I’d never try to get in between his friendships. However, I’m starting to feel like he’s hiding things about their relationship.
To start, she’s very touchy feely with everyone, but mostly him in group settings. We went to a festival recently and she was a little hands on, grabbing his shoulders while talking to him. While laying down, she put her hand on his upper thigh and he put his hand over hers (this is what I had an issue with) blatantly in front of me. In the end, they hugged for 10 solid seconds. Mind you, her husband was there the whole time too. I told bf the thigh touching was completely inappropriate and he somewhat agreed, but tried to play victim about it saying he didn’t like it.
He listed multiple excuses, saying he’s told her to stop before, and she continues to breach boundaries. He said he’s scared to rock the boat in social situations. He basically told me he doesn’t know how to implement boundaries without causing a scene. When they hang out 1:1, apparently they hold hands because she “needs it for comfort”. That is so absurd to me and I feel like most people wouldn’t be okay with this. He apologized profusely and said he will work on it. I still think I’m about to break up with him, simply because I shouldn’t NEED to have this conversation. I’m hurt and he clearly isn’t putting down boundaries if he’s openly reciprocating her advances IN FRONT OF ME, which I just know he does when they’re 1:1. I don’t think I trust him anymore. I just feel hurt when I look at him. Thoughts?
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No sis. Just no. My male partner and I both have close friendships with members of the opposite sex and we would never touch them, or allowed to be touched, in this way. Hand on his thigh? His hand over hers? Holding hands? C’mon now. I have very close female friends and they would never put a hand on my thigh. C’mon.
If he can’t establish boundaries when their partners are around, what makes you think he can establish them when no one’s watching?
The fact that they both know they can behave like this in front of their partners shows how much of pushovers you both are. What are you waiting for to do something!