Long one… This is about my wife’s (eventual) inheritance from her father. He lives in Florida with his third wife, who is not my wife’s biological mother. My wife’s biological mom is his first wife. The home he and his wife live in was purchased during his second marriage. That wife died of cancer. Got it so far?
For the 25 years my wife and I have been together, her dad has openly said he was leaving his home to her. She is an only child. His will is structured with her as his only heir.
He has been with wife number 3 for over 30 years. They are both in their mid 80s and experiencing health issues; him mild dementia and her blood clots. Their home is quite large for two people and it has an enclosed pool and a large lot. The upkeep is enormous… they pay someone $260 each time the lawn is mowed. It’s too much home but he is adamant about staying there until he dies.
Here is the problem. His wife is a professor and still works. She has gotten into a system where she mentors doctoral students while they are writing their dissertation. Dad retired about 20 years ago and lives a life of leisure. He is quite self absorbed. His wife has poured a lot of money into the home, which they believe is worth $1M. If he dies tomorrow, the home goes to my wife and stepmom gets nothing. It gets better…
My wife and I are quite well off. I just retired and my (younger) wife is a few years behind me. However, one of the stepmom’s kids (mid 50s daughter) from a previous marriage has significant mental health issues and is still receiving monthly support from her mom. That’s one of two reasons stepmom is still working at 84. That daughter is the real dilemma here. Let me explain.
The daughter is pressuring her mom to have her husband, my wife’s dad, declared incompetent so she can 1) sell the home without his consent, and 2) purchase a “villa.” The daughter has told me she hates her mom’s husband and wants her mom away from him. She seems like a sociopath to us. Initially, I tried to work with her but as soon as she wasn’t getting her way 100% of the time, she blew up on me. This was after her mom had a blood clot and was hospitalized and she said I needed to get down there and take care of dad. I purchased a one way ticket and left immediately.
We don’t want her stepmom to suffer if dad predeceases her. Given her dad’s longtime desire for my wife to inherit his estate, we don’t want to give the home away. We are 100% confident that the mentally ill daughter, who is living alone and paycheck to paycheck, is plotting to get the proceeds of that house. Here is a plan my wife has.
If dad dies first, we would give his wife the option to stay in the home until she passes. She wants her own “villa.” We would also be amenable to selling the big house and purchasing a home in my wife’s name, in which stepmom could live. To me, that sounds ludicrous because she may not live that much longer, AND may need assistance not provided in a “villa.” I know…
Dad will not change his will. If he dies and we gift the home to his wife, she will get hammered with taxes and her daughter will get the proceeds shortly after. At this point, we don’t like the idea of the mentally ill daughter getting a windfall. She has not been helpful (or nice) during this ordeal.
Nobody lives forever and this will come to a head soon. Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear any suggestions that we may have overlooked.
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Backup of the post’s body: Long one… This is about my wife’s (eventual) inheritance from her father. He lives in Florida with his third wife, who is not my wife’s biological mother. My wife’s biological mom is his first wife. The home he and his wife live in was purchased during his second marriage. That wife died of cancer. Got it so far?
For the 25 years my wife and I have been together, her dad has openly said he was leaving his home to her. She is an only child. His will is structured with her as his only heir.
He has been with wife number 3 for over 30 years. They are both in their mid 80s and experiencing health issues; him mild dementia and her blood clots. Their home is quite large for two people and it has an enclosed pool and a large lot. The upkeep is enormous… they pay someone $260 each time the lawn is mowed. It’s too much home but he is adamant about staying there until he dies.
Here is the problem. His wife is a professor and still works. She has gotten into a system where she mentors doctoral students while they are writing their dissertation. Dad retired about 20 years ago and lives a life of leisure. He is quite self absorbed. His wife has poured a lot of money into the home, which they believe is worth $1M. If he dies tomorrow, the home goes to my wife and stepmom gets nothing. It gets better…
My wife and I are quite well off. I just retired and my (younger) wife is a few years behind me. However, one of the stepmom’s kids (mid 50s daughter) from a previous marriage has significant mental health issues and is still receiving monthly support from her mom. That’s one of two reasons stepmom is still working at 84. That daughter is the real dilemma here. Let me explain.
The daughter is pressuring her mom to have her husband, my wife’s dad, declared incompetent so she can 1) sell the home without his consent, and 2) purchase a “villa.” The daughter has told me she hates her mom’s husband and wants her mom away from him. She seems like a sociopath to us. Initially, I tried to work with her but as soon as she wasn’t getting her way 100% of the time, she blew up on me. This was after her mom had a blood clot and was hospitalized and she said I needed to get down there and take care of dad. I purchased a one way ticket and left immediately.
We don’t want her stepmom to suffer if dad predeceases her. Given her dad’s longtime desire for my wife to inherit his estate, we don’t want to give the home away. We are 100% confident that the mentally ill daughter, who is living alone and paycheck to paycheck, is plotting to get the proceeds of that house. Here is a plan my wife has.
If dad dies first, we would give his wife the option to stay in the home until she passes. She wants her own “villa.” We would also be amenable to selling the big house and purchasing a home in my wife’s name, in which stepmom could live. To me, that sounds ludicrous because she may not live that much longer, AND may need assistance not provided in a “villa.” I know…
Dad will not change his will. If he dies and we gift the home to his wife, she will get hammered with taxes and her daughter will get the proceeds shortly after. At this point, we don’t like the idea of the mentally ill daughter getting a windfall. She has not been helpful (or nice) during this ordeal.
Nobody lives forever and this will come to a head soon. Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear any suggestions that we may have overlooked.
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You all need to check with counsel in FL, given a second or subsequent marriage, the surviving spouse may have some rights in addition or instead of what the will says. She may be able to elect to take against the will which – for instance in some states, may provide for a life estate in the marital home, compensation for her contributions and potentially other funds. If this sort of proceeding is available – and it is state specific – you’ll probably end up in some negotiation with the surviving spouse. The step child has no such rights.
If the step daughter somehow does get him declared incompetent then his last will cannot be changed. I would worry more about her somehow getting him to sign something she drafted in her favor. Perhaps an elder atty in Florida could help protect him.
Agree. You need to talk to a Florida attorney. In many states the wife has a right to certain things regardless of what’s in the will. You also need to ensure wife’s daughter doesn’t tie this up for years in a will contest based on incapacity. A lawyer can help you shore up the estate to the extent you can.
time to lawyer up. better call Saul. 😉
When it becomes your problem, you can rent back the house to the stepmother for the cost of utilities and maintenance, or you can sell and buy something appropriate to rent to the stepmother at a rate she can afford. If she needs to go into a “villa” with monthly maintenance, you could pay the maintenance directly from the proceeds of the house. None of these are difficult problems to solve with 2 minutes thought.
The sociopath daughter has nothing to do with it.
What is the complicating factor?
Have the father add his daughter’s name on the deed. Even if wife is on there with him and gets POA for the father, the daughter would also have to agree to sale of the house. It might end up in a lawsuit, but if the judge sees that the will gives the house to his daughter, it should help. Make sure you get a copy of his will as the stepdaughter could make sure it is “lost” after the father dies. That should also come in handy if there is a lawsuit because it was written before father became incapacitated enough to be declared incompetent. Any will dated after that should be suspect.
Why hasn’t your wife been added to the Deed of the home with rights of survivorship. This is the way my husband and I have ours done. If my husband dies Daughter gets house doesn’t even go through probate.
Your wife needs power of attorney for her dad that way SHE is the only one who can sell the house.
Maybe see about dad transfering the house to your wife now so it’s in her name and cant be sold
Ummm.. stepmom is entitled to certain things: Does a Spouse Automatically Inherit Everything in Florida? – Alper Law She can take her share against the will. Which includes a life estate in the home. Please talk to a Florida lawyer.
Take dad to lawyer to establish a trust that allows life rights to surviving spouse but holds property and assets from being liquidated. Best guidance to thwart step sis’s plans will come from lawyer.
I don’t know what their personal finances are. Ideally, he would agree to sell the house while they are both living and downsize to assisted living, or at least a HOA property. However, he doesn’t want to move anywhere. That’s the problem. That’s what doesn’t add up.
My experience was that it’s not easy to have someone declared incompetent. You have to have two physicians declare incompetency after competency evaluation. Then it goes before the courts.
However I’d definitely suggest consulting with an estate attorney.
Have your father sign over the house right now with the stipulation he gets to live there until he dies or leaves it. This is a very easy thing to do with a lawyer. I would do it immediately.
Have the house put in a Trust with your wife as the executive. A clause stated that the house will not be sold until after the death of (dad, stepmom) and proceeds go to your wife. It is expensive to get a trust, but it is well worth it. Just went through this with my parents home in Florida. And because the house is in a trust, it cannot be used as an asset to pay for a nursing home, etc. Speak to an attorney that specializes in this area.
Have you consulted a lawyer? If the will predates the marriage to the stepmom, your wife may not inherit anything or may inherit less. It’s depends on the state law.
Also, I’m not sure how much you trust your stepmom, but while her dad is still ‘with it’, your wife should get power of attorney over him so she is the one making decisions once he’s unable to.
As power of attorney, you may be able to put a hold on the title of the house with the county clerks office so if there is any attempt to transfer title, it will be stopped.
You can easily rent the home to you step mom for a nominal fee under a rental agreement so there are landlord and tenant rights. (It would also allow you to write off the loss on your taxes.)
Frankly her father should have put the home in a trust for your wife so it wouldn’t even be part of his estate when he passes. If he’s still competent, you could do that now. That’s the safest way to handle the situation because he can’t sell (and people can’t sell from out under him) what he doesn’t own.
Listen to Lying Dog and hire an estate planning attorney in Florida who can hear what’s going on and help plot the best way to handle this. Get Dad and his wife’s preferences re their end of life care and ask the attorney if anything needs to be done re powers of attorney for health and/or finance for both of them so all paperwork is complete.