I’ve never been a particularly intimate person. I’ve always shied away from physical contact, and even something as simple as a hug hello would make me feel uncomfortable. When it came to sex, I used to think I liked it… I guess. But now, I’m honestly not so sure.
I’ve been in a relationship for two years, and I’m starting to worry that it might be coming to an end. The reason? I no longer feel any desire to have sex with my partner. I don’t really understand why—it’s not like anything about him has changed. His behavior and appearance are pretty much the same, but something in me has shifted. I no longer find him attractive, and I can’t seem to force myself to look at him the way I used to.
I’ve tried everything I could think of to change that. I stopped masturbating, stopped watching porn, thinking maybe those were dulling my desire—but nothing has helped. And the worst part? I still have sexual fantasies, just not with him. That makes me feel like the worst person in the world.
We’ve had a few conversations about it. I didn’t tell him directly that I don’t find him attractive anymore—I couldn’t bring myself to say that, especially knowing how sensitive he is. Instead, we talked about the lack of sex in general. He said it doesn’t affect him too much and that he can deal with it, but I know him well, and I can tell it’s not that simple for him.
I don’t want to end this relationship, but I also don’t want to keep forcing myself into something that feels so unnatural now. So the question is: how do you eat the apple and still have one? Is there even a way to navigate this without losing everything?
Has anyone else gone through something like this? Because right now, I feel incredibly alone in it.
Comments
Probably not and ending the relationship is the best if this continues. You can try therapy, try reigniting the romance with him, be as healthy as possible but if it’s not a lack of sexual desire but sexual desire towards him there isn’t as much to do. You can try to wait it out but I doubt that it will get better.