I finally seem to be stepping into the life I always wanted (dream job, moving to a new city I love for better quality of life, 1 year in to the healthiest, most fulfilling relationship I have ever had, have healed a lot from past traumas) and honestly, I’m shocked at how quickly it happened and was wondering what it was like for others who have been fortunate enough to do the same. I also wondered if intuition played a role for any of you, because for me, that seems to have been a big part of the process.
For several big moves I have made over the years (travel, new jobs, new friend groups, meeting my partner) I seemed to have a strong intuitive feeling of “yep, this is it” or “you need to do this”. It isn’t simply excitement because there were other possibilities that I wanted to have this feeling about but just couldn’t. I also found that really listening to this feeling seemed to produce the best results, and that the better I got at listening to my intuition, the better things seemed to get for me, and at a faster rate (I’d say I only really started to listen about 4 years ago).
I’m not even concerned with the how or why (whether it’s simply something in the brain or a little more mystical than that), I just know that now after seeing the results several times over, it’s something I take seriously. I also don’t want to downplay the role therapy and healing has played in all of this, because that has been a big part of it too, but the intuition seems to be a separate component of the whole thing.
Anyone else?
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I’ve read that our brains can process information really quickly and unconsciously, which can lead to that gut feeling in decision making. I think of it as my brain can make decisions faster than I can consciously verbalize the ‘why’ behind the decision.
Intuition can be super helpful! Sometimes our conscious minds can get wrapped up in thinking about what other people might think or worrying about all the ‘what if’s’ in a decision, which can sometimes lead us astray from making a decision that’s best for ourselves. And therapy can help calm those distracting worries and allow you to make better choices.
I think there’s still moments in which it is helpful to make conscious, well thought out decisions. But gut feelings can help point us in the right direction.
I decided to live the life I want not the life I think I should want or what others want.
What’s with the downvotes in this sub lately? Are we devolving?
It’s an extremely long and context dependent story, but I’ve probably been in love with my husband since we were 17 years old. I had a tendency to make bad decisions and allow myself to be manipulated. So I missed 2 opportunities with him as adults and royally screwed things up for myself. Granted, there were good moments with exs but they’re far outweighed by the abuse, cheating, stealing, etc. etc.
I ran into my husband at my 29th birthday dinner. Me and my friends were getting up to leave and he walked in with some friends. I saw him and immediately tried to hide. He zeroed in on me, walked over and we chatted for a few seconds. My heart was beating so hard I could barely hear him. Anyway, he asked me if I wanted to do mother birthday dinner, just us sometime soon.
3 weeks later and I’m moving in with him. I took a huge leap and trusted, somehow everything in me just knew this was it. I would’ve bet it all and won. We’re going on 8 years soon. I knew it when we were teenagers, I knew it when we were 23 and I said if I ever got another chance I’m diving into the deep end. His emotional intelligence, his charm, his ability to understand what I want and need… can’t be put into words.
I always knew it would be me and him. Don’t ask me how, I just knew it
Yes and no.
When it comes to relationships, my intuition tends to be pretty good. I met my husband when I was 19 and knew immediately he was it. We’ve gone through hard times, but I’ve never wavered on being with him because I’ve always had a strong intuitive sense that there is no one better out there for me than him. After nearly 15 years together, our relationship is better than ever.
But my intuition isn’t always great about other things. One of the reasons my life is so great now is because three years ago, my husband got a great job offer and we uprooted our lives and moved across the country. I, frankly, did not want to do this. I was terrified. Our new location has higher wages, but also much higher cost of living and I was scared we’d be destitute. But having made the move… I love it here. And while we’ve had some hiccups career-wise, we’re SO much better off here in terms of opportunity. And right now we’re both doing great. My gut was telling me it was going to be a disaster, but my logical brain was telling me it was stupid to turn down an opportunity to double my husband’s salary, so we made the move and I’m so glad I listened to my logical brain.
I don’t know if it’s intuition per se but I have been quite shocked how much happens when you simply just start doing things.
Paralysis analysis is particularly insidious when you see research on how bad people are at predicting how events will affect them.
2020 was that year for me, surprisingly. My partner of 9 years finally broke up with me because he knew he wasn’t treating me well (and likely knew I was too much of a pushover to leave). I had decided to open a gift shop by myself, which was risky but I just…knew it would work out (and it has – I’m still open!). And then when my ex wouldn’t move out, I decided very quickly to jump into buying a house on my own (something I’d never really considered), because I have 6 pets and figured renting would be difficult/cost as much as a mortgage anyway. So that was another big leap based on a gut feeling that it was the right choice, and it was! I love my house, and rent/housing prices in my area have gone up so much in the last 5 years that I literally could not afford to live where I do if I were looking for a place now.
My gut also told me to end things with my last boyfriend after 4 years, which has led to me enjoying being single for the first real time in my adult life. I’ve been doing a lot of self-relection and internal work, just started therapy, and have finally had the time and space to sit with some thoughts on my sexuality and what I would actually WANT out of a partner/relationship rather than just going with the flow like I always have. It’s been really eye opening and empowering. I’m really excited to see how the next 5 years go!!
I’ve always followed my intuition and my life has generally been good because of this.
Cognitive science research shows that intuition is just deep brain processing. If you need to make a decision where you have to process a lot of data, it tends to do a better job than conscious decision making.
I get that you’re asking about intuition specifically… and I do personally believe in that. But if I think through my life I guess it’s a “it’s more complicated than that”.
When I first met my husband by the end of the first date I knew that he would be my husband. It felt like I could finally stop searching which was a huge relief. But since being together, life hasn’t been easy – we’ve had a cost of living crisis, infertility. He’s the person I feel safest with, but I have definitely questioned everything. I suppose that’s to say that even with intuition or whatever it is, life still happens and the challenges are the same. Enjoy your current blessings while you have them – age and sickness happen to us all.
In terms of building the right life for me, I would say therapy helped the most in helping me to settle down. That and just pursuing crazy things fearlessly when I wanted. But now that I’m older I am in the stage of needing to build my career (if I can call it that!), really think about money etc. I don’t really pursue intuition anymore, I just try to make money. For instance I love writing and took a few months once to write, and I felt genuine joy while doing it and was in a state of flow. But then I got a job and haven’t written since.
So I guess that’s to say maybe a lot of us are just too poor or burdened by life responsibilities/ requirements to really hear or follow intuition much? I’ve also become a lot less spiritual in recent years with all the infertility challenges – it’s been very hard to be connected to anything greater.
I wouldn’t say that intuition played into it too heavily.
I think my “dream life” appeared when many years of hard work and preparation met good luck. I had an intuitive feeling that my then-partner was The One for me, but then again, we had met many years before become romantic and therefore I had a basis on which to judge his character.
Overall, I’m not the big believers in letting my emotions guide my decisions. As humans, I think we tend to rationalize whatever decisions we’ve made as good/right decisions.
I had to gain some confidence to stop second guessing myself. I worked hard on my mental health the past 5 years and I’ve cultivated a pretty good life. I was self sabotaging and I had to break some unhealthy cycles. I just wish I was in a better place financially, but don’t we all?
Whatever improvements I have in my life are result of insane efforts on my part and luck. I have no idea what intuition is supposed to be.
As someone who’s been living with anxiety my whole life, “intuition” and how I feel about something is something I have purposefully ignored as it was always nothing more than fear.
100% yes. I got into my dream industry, promoted to my dream job, won a big dream award, and moved into my dream apartment penthouse a few months ago.
None of it was really “planned.” I worked really hard and was smart about it, but the big opportunities were from things I could not control. I feel like all of this is my calling / soul mission. Maybe it’s stupid to think that, but I’ve had weird intuitions like “I should post online about this” when I rarely post online, and then those things would lead to huge opportunities.
So yes, the more I trust my intuition, the more those opportunities lead to big things in life. Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend because he was stifling my career and was financially irresponsible. Right after, I got an $85k commission and then someone approached me to partner with them in a new business venture. Normally I’m like “no too risky” but my gut is telling me “this is it, do it.” And I never would have been able to do this while dating my ex (long story, look at my post history if you’re interested.)
I don’t tend to call it intuition, but I do notice strong “gut feelings”… it’s not that they’re feelings of “I want this”, it’s more like “this is going to be what happens” even if I’m not ready to admit it to myself I want it to happen, or not ready to act on it yet. It just feels like an inevitability, even if it’s scary. I’m not sure I’d say I “listen” to it, because it’s more like I know the decision is already made and I just need to reconcile how I feel about it.
I’ve had it with changing jobs, doing a PhD, moving in with various people, moving locations. None of which I regret.
I wish I could summon it on demand though. I love my life right now but it’s not perfect. But for me I think it’s more a way of noticing a good opportunity when it pops up than anything deeper.
yes but my intuition was part bravery and part screaming into the void and part caution