Hello, basically I just need advice because I don’t really know how to convince my parents that a 10pm curfew at 20 is absolutely ridiculous. He recently gave me this curfew because I went out to see my friend and accidentally fell asleep at his house I didn’t wake up till 2am and when I check my phone there were over 60 missed calls and loads of messages from them saying they’re gonna call the police etc. I came home and my mum was angry I apologised and told them it was a mistake but they didn’t care. My dad said I MUST be in the house by 10 no exceptions. Even if I’m 5 mins late now he starts calling me and it just ruins the fun. What I don’t understand is what changed because I used to come in late anyways like sometimes I’d come in at 6am. Maybe he didn’t notice but I clearly wasn’t back by 10pm. It’s just incredibly frustrating because I’m 20 not a little girl and when I’m at uni I don’t stay out to outrageous hours normally but if I want to stay up till 7am I can and come home. My mum helps me pay for uni so that’s kinda tricky. They’re also SDA and my dad is very concerned with image. When we’ve talked about the curfew he always says what would people think if they saw you a young girl out so late into the night. Which to me makes zero sense because for people to see me they must also be out late? Not only that but it’s not like I’m staying out late in town getting drunk I’m at my friends houses and they will literally pick me up and drop me off back home but that’s still not good enough for him the 10 pm curfew remains. Do you think there’s anyways to convince him and change his mind? Thank you
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I’d like to help you, but the lack of paragraphs immediately puts this in the TLDR category for me, sorry.
lol that is bonkers to me but I didn’t grow up with parents that strict. My parents were not at all involved with my comings and goings when I was 20. I was in school full time while also working a full time job, but I still went out with friends and went to parties. I don’t think my parents were even keeping track of me like that to be honest.
You’re a grown up, you’re in charge of you now. But that’s hard to assert if you were raised with strict parents and/or you still live with them or if they pay for your expenses.
At 20yrs old I’d moved out, had my first child and was at uni so yeah… it’s a bit weird having a curfew at that age.
I didn’t read the wall of text, but a 20-year-old doesn’t need a curfew.
10 is pretty early even for 15 or 16
Honestly if you live with them, you do have to stick by the rules they set. You scared them, sounds like they were extremely worried so this is a punishment.
Keep up with the curfew and at some point, after showing them you are responsible and it won’t happen again under their roof, discuss relaxing the curfew slightly. Also due to the fact your mum pays for your university. You do have to listen to them.
Also your dad’s words about what would people think, it also sounds like a safety concern. I never go out that late alone, 22F here, as anything could happen and I’d much rather be at home safe than out in the dark. Not everyone is nice, especially at night and yeah a young woman out at a night, they can definitely get the wrong idea and something could happen. Instead of complaining about it, follow through and show them you are responsible. Not to sound like your parents but like at least a curfew gives you more time to study, all that money should be going towards education, I get having fun and seeing friends but you need balance.
When I was 20, I was working nights, so it wasn’t feasible. I’d discuss it with him when things cool down. I think it’s not the lateness that was the problem, but the lack of communication.
10 pm is crazy. But staying out until 7am is pretty irresponsible when you’re in uni unless you’re doing homework, studying and sleeping while you’re at your friend’s house. If you’re living with them or they’re paying for school then just ride it out until you can support yourself.
At your age there is no curfew. Time to move out.