I often read of women breaking up when their partner asks for a paternity test.
Because it’s questioning their loyalty, implying they cheated.
As you can’t probably question maternity in this way the equivalent would be a loyalty test for men.
Like asking a woman to chat him up and see where it goes.
r/AskMen didn’t take my question so I ask here.
Men of reddit would a loyalty test be a deal breaker?
Women of reddit would the question about paternity be a deal breaker?
I (41F) would not consider it a deal breaker.
But I think I am alone with this opinion.
Comments
Yes. Trust IMO is an integral part of a relationship. If you’re putting a loved one through a loyalty test, whether it’s justified or not, it means you do not trust your partner. It’s also a sign that the person is very insecure if whoever they’re testing gave no indication of being disloyal.
Don’t play dumbass games with your partner… You either trust them or you don’t.
If you don’t, why the fuck are you dating them?
Nobody appreciates someone playing a trick on them. Be honest, and real. If they can’t do the same for you, leave them.
Breaking up over a paternity test is quite something. In a world where men can’t really truly know if they are the father, i find it justified wanting to ask for one.
It puts the mind of everyone involved at ease, just as i have heard people break up over paternity tests. I have also heard people break up over prenups.
But loyalty tests from what i have seen overall, putting people on the spot of seeing their loyalty is bs.
If someone i was dating made up a fake scenario as a ”i am testing you without you knowing” kind of deal, and i find this out. Then yeah, thats it, i would be gone.
I wouldn’t put a paternity test and a loyalty test even in the same category, number one. One is a lifelong and financial commitment, the other is a stupid game people play based on their insecurities. How many times have we read stories of men raising children they thought were theirs and their worlds come crashing down when it turns out they aren’t? Now, I’m of the camp that it doesn’t take DNA to be a good father to a child, only a desire to love and raise them, before people think about any dogpiling here. But I also think that it isn’t too far fetched for peace of mind to request one. I didn’t have to when my daughter was born, she came out looking exactly like me but with my wife’s nose. I had zero reason to even suspect it. I would also say this is less geared to married, more committed couples than it is to people who are dating and the pregnancy is not planned as well. Loyalty tests while dating is one thing (still stupid), but while married is wholly another in my opinion. I would never do it to my wife because she’s given me zero reason to not trust her, and I would expect the same for her.
Yes
Yes.