Is anyone else just waiting for their mother to die?

r/

I’m not talking about hurting anyone, not by any stretch. I just know my life will be more peaceful and that I’ll finally be able to be myself when she’s gone.

Comments

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  2. spaceintern05 Avatar

    It would definitely be one less enemy. One less person wishing our death or feeling angry if we succeed in anything..

  3. Silver-Honkler Avatar

    Yes. Dad died and it was great. Her finally dying will be fantastic.

  4. thedbrunner Avatar

    Yes. I haven’t gone NC. I can’t said the fear of what comes after with flying monkeys and my own guilt. But between her abuse and my entire family forcing me to be abound my abusive nsis bc my mom says it’s hurting her, I won’t have peace until she’s gone.

  5. whiskonsinthecat Avatar

    They both died in January 2014, and I’m so glad about it. I was hoping for them to die for so long.

  6. SororitySue Avatar

    My dad died and it opened up a whole new world for me. I had to lose him to find myself.

  7. TailorFalse3848 Avatar

    I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m waiting, but I’m at peace with it happening in the next 10-15 years without guilt or regret. I’m very low contact, and that’s only because I love my Dad. If he passes first, it will be zero contact.

    People who know me (not friends, but acquaintances), will often tell me “you’re going to have so many regrets,” which is frustrating because they don‘t know me. For instance, my hair stylist will say this because she knows, through chit chat, that I spend every holiday with my spouses family.

    So mostly, I’m excited for people with functioning families to stop judging me.

  8. trinity_girl2002 Avatar

    Kind of? I’m already no contact, but I’d like for the flying monkeys to not have any reason to push for reunification anymore.

  9. Lisbeth_Milla Avatar

    Yes and no, too much papers to sign

  10. Lyrabelle Avatar

    There will be drama when she does. Gotta keep that popcorn ready.

  11. Louise-the-Peas Avatar

    Sometimes I’m waiting for my life to be over so I can never sign up for this Earth shit again.

  12. Free-Tea-3012 Avatar

    I’m gonna sound vindictive, but I feel I have the right to be. My mother doesn’t believe in sunscreen, and loooooves to tan without it. Says it’s healthy. I’m just waiting, waiting til she either turns into a raisin at 50, or gets a fucking melanoma. I can just smell the denial she’d be in from here. But it would be the biggest ‘I told you so’ ever.

  13. More_Cranberry_7250 Avatar

    My sperm donor, actually. But, I don’t have contact. My sister, otoh, loudly proclaims that she is not doing holidays, birthdays, cards, contacts, dinners, and anything else she thinks up, once he is gone.

    I think, when he is gone, I will invite her here, to be pampered and to take a break.

  14. raffriffs Avatar

    Yup. Even wrote out the post I’m going to put up acknowledging her death when it happens, that allows me to speak my truth … and felt a great deal of peace doing so.

    My dad died 16 months ago and I acknowledged his death in way that exposed who he had been to me as well. I actually got so much support for it afterwards too.

  15. blueskybookworm Avatar

    Yes. Life will be significantly more peaceful and stress-free

  16. Such-Astronomer-7824 Avatar

    Yes, I am looking forward… I’ll probably feel relieved — same for my father. And when I heard about his poor health, I felt happy. Not because I wish him harm. I felt happy because it means my time is coming. I’ll be in charge. I won’t need to stay alert anymore. I can finally let go of the constant weight of questioning myself — about going no-contact, about whether they’ll change, about what more I could possibly do.

    At the same time, it’s sad because it’s final. Things won’t ever be resolved now. That’s what I’ll be grieving — not the person, but the fact that resolution is no longer possible.While it’s sad, it also brings closure.

  17. mistress_chimera Avatar
  18. frooootloops Avatar

    Oh yes. Nearly cried out into the universe about it today.

  19. HalfOrdinary Avatar

    No, I want her to have a will and life insurance first so I don’t feel obligated about her manner of burial.

  20. CombinationWhich6391 Avatar

    Having worked as a legal guardian for 25 years I witnessed very many deaths and there have been occasions where I was the only one present at the funeral of my warden, giving respect, whatever. It always made me stop for a moment. When nmom died, there was nothing, no relief, no sadness, absolutely no thoughts. We had pizza afterwards and sort of a party at her apartment, where the granddaughters tried her stupid sunglasses on. So that was it.

  21. AppropriateGas7731 Avatar

    Everyone will stop catering to her and I’ll be able to enjoy family events without wondering what kind of a scene she’s going to make.

  22. CatCreampie Avatar

    Been thinking about this for a bit.

    Yes, I’m looking forward to both of them dying, but I don’t want to put my life on hold. Best I can do is no-contact until they actually do kick the bucket.

    Can’t wait, but I’m too busy living my life to notice.

  23. Zeca_77 Avatar

    She’s essentially dead to me now. I’ve been NC for the last several years, after very low contact. She also has dementia, which is increasingly worse from what I have been told. I live on another continent. I think I still will feel more peace when she’s actually gone.

    The craziness in the US, where I am from, is good in one way. If my sister tries to pressure me to go to the funeral, I will able to say there’s no way in hell I’m going to set foot there.

  24. Auburriito Avatar

    I don’t think she deserves an early demise or anything. I just hope that whenever it does happen that I’m given the courtesy and peace of only knowing after the fact. I don’t want the stress of a “i’M DyInG” call from her or a caregiver.

  25. Tiny_Nuggin5 Avatar

    Dad goes into surgery in a little over a week. Fingers crossed.

  26. mulletpixiedreamenby Avatar

    100% I grew up with a dead dad already and my mum consistently failing to be a parent I have already felt like an orphan for quite some time. I feel her passing would give me peace.

  27. Dull_Combination_279 Avatar

    Yes unfortunately feel that way because she’ll never give me validation for the pain she’s caused. This is my first day in this group.

  28. No_Reserve5953 Avatar

    My father first, then his wife. Both absolutely horrid human beings, now wasting away in their acidic bile.

  29. allthecolor Avatar

    Since my earliest memories around 4 years old.

  30. PixiStix236 Avatar

    I was waiting out the clock for so long, but my dad just wouldn’t die. I had to push myself to finally go NC and live my life. But when he finally goes I know I’ll have a lot of complicated emotions about it.

  31. sofa_king_notmo Avatar

    Sounds terrible to people who didn’t suffer under their boot.   But hell yes.   Even my golden child sister mentioned that she hoped our mother dies before my father because it would be hell to take care of her.    

  32. Important_Debt_8928 Avatar

    It’s how I feel about my dad for sure

  33. YouLikePasketti Avatar
  34. LibraryLuLu Avatar

    It will happen and it will be wonderful 😀

  35. Extra_Zucchini_1273 Avatar

    People are surprised when i say im not glad shes dead but im glad shes out of my life.

  36. gibletsandgravy Avatar

    Yes I was, then she died. And the guilt that I was braced for never came. She died in August. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about how much happier I am now that she’s dead.

    Hang in there. Life afterwards is a lot of painful healing, but it’s still a better life.

  37. FriendOfDoggo122 Avatar

    She’s already dead to me, so it’s a moot point.

  38. Caffiend6 Avatar

    The women in my family live forever…NPD Grandma lived to be 88…I feel like my mother will live even longer, probably outlive me after all the years of stress she’s put me under

  39. Intelligent_Pilot360 Avatar

    Yes, I can’t wait. I do not think I will be able to go to her funeral because I’m afraid of being disruptive.

  40. veni_vidi_vomui Avatar

    Unfortunately my mother will probably live to 90 out of sheer spite.

  41. Fantastic_Cupcake_27 Avatar

    Abused then taken custody of by my godmother at age 5, she married a narcissistic man who then divorced and married my bio mom and has been out of the question so has bio dad. Godmother died the day I turned 17. Peace was found until her narcissistic best friend took me in. Wasn’t as intense, but the pain and hardship were still there and made it worse the fact that I never knew when I was going to break her last straw. Trying to force me to pay her my checks I still received. I’m leaving whenever I can when it’s somewhat finacally for me. She’s not even talking to me about the live changing option that could fck me over in the long run, that she is just going off and doing.

  42. ArtisticCustard7746 Avatar

    Yes. If she didn’t lie to me, I get her house, and I’m going to sell it immediately and use that as a down payment on something better.

    Chances are she’s lying. But not having to deal with her is fine too.

  43. VariousAssistance116 Avatar

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  44. Sufficient-Spray-367 Avatar

    Before I went no contact I did feel that way. I have too many bad memories, and only a few so-so memories, and I can’t think of a single good memory of her. And now that I’m nc for 4 years it’s like she’s already gone. I gave up a huge inheritance, and it was so worth it to finally have so much peace!

  45. csanchez0731 Avatar

    I occasionally check the obituaries every couple months but they’re both still kicking….

  46. luvgoths Avatar

    Waiting for my grandparents to die. Mid 80s and still hanging on for some reason.

  47. aoibhealfae Avatar

    Pretty much. I try not to feel guilty about this, but the way she deal with my late dad’s assets and legal stuff now made me feel like everything will be settled if she died.

    My dad died in 2020… it’s 2025 now and she was ignoring everything and hope things will magically sort things out as it did with everything in her life. I am still annoyed that she justified it with endless excuses; my late dad didn’t plan for his death, she didn’t have sons, I didn’t give her a son-law to replace my dad for her. She tried to renew road tax for my dad’s van and she was so upset that they didn’t let her renew it under his name. We still pay bills and taxes under his name too which is a fraud at this point. And all because my dad suddenly died on her.

    I didn’t realize how bad her irresponsibility was until now and how she kept shifting responsibilities to me (fourth born) and my younger sister while my older sisters just do nothing. I got so upset when I saw my dad’s house was badly deteriorated and I was given limited fund to restore it. So yes, I am now waiting for her to die just so I can finally have the money to restore my dad’s house with his own money that she splurged on oversea shopping trips and love bombing me.

  48. Own_Remote5651 Avatar

    My grandmother. Her abuse has the entire family going to therapy. I don’t care if it is wrong to pray for someone’s death I’ll still do it if it means we’ll have peace.

  49. AlexInRV Avatar

    When my mother was alive, I would sometimes wish she was dead, and then I would be consumed by guilt and I would try to convince myself that I had never really meant it.

    Near the end of her life she became more and more spiteful and mean. I tired of her verbal and emotional abuse, so I started to put some distance between us, and I again started to wish she would die.

    This time, I meant it, though not in an angry, hateful way. As cancer ate her away to nothing, her world got smaller and smaller, and she was less and less able to do the things she loved. I wished for her end in more of a “this is inevitable, can we get this over, please?” kind of way.

    She died over three years ago.

    While I am grateful she left me half of her house, the abuse and psychological damage she meted out was far greater than what could be offset by the value of anything she left me.

    My father, her ex-husband, still tries to defend her and gaslights me, trying to claim I was the abusive, “bad,” child. He got to divorce her. I never did.

    I am far better off without her, and I can honestly say I haven’t missed her even once.