Personally, I (22f), don’t think it is. I’m in school full-time and I have family errands to run. But the guy (35m) I’m talking to has a business and some stressful legal things to care for. I know we’re at different stages in life and I can understand the difficulties he’s experiencing but I think despite it all, I don’t think it can excuse the fact that he doesn’t take 5 seconds to send me a text everyday. He was very responsive prior to the personal issues, but now not. I don’t know how long it will take to resolve his issues.
tldr: Is being too busy ever an excuse to not send good morning/night/how was ur day msgs?
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Girl, if he wanted to, he would. Please put yourself first and cut your losses. Also, the age gap says a lot. Obviously I can’t make any conclusions with such limited information but in my experience, a 22F/35M relationship is one where the man sees the woman as an exciting fantasy, not an equal partner.
“Too busy” is a polite way of saying “it’s not a priority”. Now in his defence, being expected to send texts every day sounds exhausting, like an obligation – not “I was thinking of you so wanted to say hi” but instead “here’s your demanded message, that I’m only sending because I don’t want to piss you off.” But everyone’s different.
My point is just, don’t fixate on the message or lack thereof. If you really truly need a good morning/night text every single day…why? I don’t mean justify that to me, I mean figure out yourself why that’s so important to you. Because on the face of it it seems very superficial – if the relationship is solid and you’re happy, minor differences in communication style shouldn’t be a big deal. And if you’re not happy, or you have concerns about the relationship, then address those deeper issues, rather than getting worked up about a text. Don’t make it into something it isn’t, don’t take this as some evidence he doesn’t care about you. It means he doesn’t prioritise daily texts the way you do. But he might value you/the relationship a lot.
A text isn’t just “taking 5 seconds”. It means finding a convenient time to get into the headspace where you put your current concerns to one side, disregard what you might want to do for yourself in a tiny window of opportunity, and are instead meeting the need of someone else that you might not share yourself. I’ve had messages from dear friends I’ve not replied to in good time, because enough’s going on that I just can’t be arsed with it at that time, but will do once I’m in the right headspace.
Don’t make it about whether it’s a “good enough” excuse or not. Don’t have arbitrary expectations like “every day”. If you’ve got concerns, bring them up with him, discuss them.
If he is running a business and sorting through legal stuff then that’s a very understandable reason to not be able to send messages every day. It sounds like he has a lot on his plate with those things.
Whilst you may be able to respond and text daily, his life and schedule due to these issues may not allow for this right now. It doesn’t necessarily mean he has lost interest, just that he a lil busier than before.
If it bothers you then it’s worth talking to him about it and setting your expectations. As you are only in the talking stage right now, then maybe it’s worth meeting new people and finding someone who is able to communicate with you more.
The “guy you’re talking to”… so he’s not your boyfriend or long term partner? And he’s 13yrs older than you?
If you’re just talking it sounds very casual and he’s going through something. He doesn’t have the capacity right now to be developing a relationship.
I’m guessing it’s not as serious for him as it is for you. Certainly not serious enough for daily texting.
You’re young and definitely at different stages. I highly recommend dating someone closer to your age.