Hello there,
This is not a rant about dating but a thought I had and wanted to talk about it.
I recently matched with a girl on a dating app and after talking consistently for three days, I am in this weird conundrum where it feels great to have someone be positive and responsive and even curious about me (and vice versa), on the other hand it feels weird because dating these days is always said to be “difficult”, “you have to play games”, and “don’t show them too much of yourself or you’ll be ghosted” or any other variation.
Have we, as humans, started to make dating so overcomplicated? Why could this be? How could dating become better than what it is these days?
(Disclaimer: this post is not supported by empirical data but more by a personal observation that is kept as objective as possible)
Comments
For all of us, dating comes with fears and insecurities. As adults we learn to cope and deal with these but they still come out in romantic relationships because we base our self-worth on these connections.
Being human is to overcomplicate, we are the animal that tells stories.
For most of human history, people married for practical reasons- land ownership and child-rearing.
Then for a generation or 2, most people married someone they met in high school.
We’re experimenting.
Dating certainly would be a lot easier without humans, that’s for sure.
Personal insecuritues, lack of reasoning, past traumas, seeking perfection. People are on dating sites, either to seek validation, ego-boost and rest dont even know why are they there. Only very very very few are genuine and would make effort. if you are talking to such a person, dont fuck it up