My (30m) girlfriend (25f) has a habit of making jokes like, “If I ever cheat, it’ll be with someone hotter”, or “Don’t get boring or I’ll find someone else.” She laughs it off and says I’m being too sensitive when I tell her it makes me uncomfortable.
She’s never actually done anything shady, but these “jokes” feel off. Is this kind of talk something to take seriously? Anyone else been in this situation?
Comments
The comments aren’t a big deal. The fact she won’t stop even though she know it makes you uncomfortable is.
Well, at a minimum she sounds self-absorbed.
If someone told me that I was being too sensitive, I’d tell them to take a hike.
Life’s too short to be dismissed like that, in my opinion.
This is not a joke: “Don’t get boring or I’ll find someone else.”
Its a threat.
Joking about cheating isn’t funny when it starts sounding like preview.
She’s testing the waters. She’s seeing what kind of reaction she gets when she says those things. If it was me I’d say the next time she jokes about it tell her that you don’t appreciate those kind of jokes or comments and if she doesn’t stop then things are over. If she says that you’re being too sensitive or that you’re over reacting then tell her that you believe that you need some space to consider things. Tell her that since she doesn’t respect you enough to stop acting or saying things like that that you believe that you and her need to take a break from each other for a while. Use the exact same words that she would use if you made jokes like that.
Yeah nah dude that’s not just “jokes,” that’s testing boundaries. If she knows it bothers you and keeps doing it, that’s not playful—it’s disrespectful. Trust your gut.
Wether it’s jokes or not she’s dismissing you when you tell her it makes you uncomfortable so that’s a red flag
Im guessing she is worried about you finding her boring and cheating on her and this is how she is dealing with it.
Have sex with her dad. SHE WILL NOT SEE IT COMING
Joking about cheating can definitely raise some eyebrows, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s important to communicate how you feel with her; sometimes people don’t realize their words can have a deeper impact. You deserve to feel secure in your relationship.
You’re not holding her accountable for the cheating jokes That makes you look weak and not a man who gets respect.
You can wait for her to make another cheating joke, but I strongly suggest you don’t wait until then. Tell her the next time she makes a cheating joke, you are breaking up with her and she can go out with whoever she wants. Remain SILENT for a full ten seconds, no matter what she replies. Then calmly move on to another topic. Either she respects you or not.
Yes run. I had an ex do this and eventually cheated.
Crimson flag. Don’t waste any more time with someone who talks to you like that. At the very least it’s disrespectful and at the worst it’s a passive aggressive threat.
She doesn’t like you… she’s projecting… she doesn’t like herself… alot of adults do this more then they know… leave
I would not tolerate a GF that jokes about cheating. You do you.
Those aren’t jokes, they are threats.
I mean, I joke a bit sometimes because it’s just so absurd to think I ever would. My current SO is an attorney, kind, gorgeous and everything I would ever want. Sometimes they will call and say they are coming home and I will say “Oh shit, just lemme get these strippers out of here and hide the blow”. I wouldn’t take it as far as your girlfriend has though.
She’s insecure and trying to knock down your confidence.
I would deadpan respond “and then I’d leave you.”
I don’t play with that shit.
I don’t think it’s a joke
Yes
I don’t think it’s a joke
Massive red flag being waived around.
wtf, how is that even a joke?? if she isn’t already cheating, she will be. that is horrible. i think she is projecting and testing you.
“Don’t get boring or I’ll find someone else.”
my ex kept saying the same, now she’s gone.