Is it a red flag if your man is grossed out by your period?

r/

okay he’s not like a total jerk about it all the time but he hates when I talk about it and asks me to stop if I do and today I accidentally left a bit of blood inside the toilet seat and he got pretty pissed at me and said “if you’re gonna leave blood in the toilet just let me know so I don’t have to come home to it..” I was like….ok I’m really sorry that I was cursed with womanhood and that you’re totally disgusted by my biology!!!

Comments

  1. SlickJ17 Avatar

    it is indicative of a poor character in one way or another

  2. OutofWarrantyAudi Avatar

    Maybe he’s squeamish around blood?

  3. Vfrnut Avatar

    Complete immaturity. How old is this clown ? Tell him that if he doesn’t like dealing with the bad days he doesn’t get the good days either . 😑

  4. wt_anonymous Avatar

    Being bothered by talking about it is kinda weird unless you’re giving like super graphic descriptions of it and he’s really squeamish…

    But why aren’t you flushing if there’s blood in the toilet? This seems like it could be easily resolved by just flushing?

  5. Distinct-Crow4753 Avatar

    It’s one thing to be like hey that’s gross can u clean up ur blood and a whole other to react like that 🙄

  6. Fyre-Bringer Avatar

    Yeah, that’s not okay. 

    You need to have a talk with him. Ask him why it grosses him out when it’s a normal bodily function. Maybe tell him that if he keeps complaining about it you’ll pick a random bodily function and act the same way with him about it.

  7. itsyoutboytheek Avatar

    Yeah, that’s a red flag with a side of immaturity and a sprinkle of “boy, grow up.”

  8. ILoveReddit882 Avatar

    Clean the toilet. Anyone would and should be disgusted by that.

  9. papuadn Avatar

    Yes, but I don’t know if it’s because it’s a period specifically.

    Living with another human being means that others human’s fluids are, someday, going to get on your things. It might be blood. It might be spit, or vomit, or, if you’re a little unlucky, some waste. It’s not going to be on purpose. It’s not going to be the plan. But it’s going to happen.

    How he responds to this is an indicator of how he’s going to respond to similar stuff in the long term, and you have to decide if you’re comfortable with that.

    I hope he’s living up to his own standards and is absolutely fastidious about his little leftovers. You could take that into consideration as well.

    What’s more of a concern is his inability to even discuss it. Discussing health stuff with your partner is, quite frankly, even more important. He should be aware of and able to handle that. (Being faint when discussing blood is a super-normal thing though, and not restricted to men – gotta work around that too without being too dismissive, because it you make it too much about gender, you might not be communicating well.)

  10. nazrmo78 Avatar

    Only if hes older than 16.

  11. alphadavenport Avatar

    yeah it’s a red flag. ime, men will “other” women by acting really performatively grossed out by period blood. like there’s something fundamentally unclean about normal body stuff. it’s a childish “boys rule girls drool” kind of soft misogyny that we get taught as boys.

    some people are legitimately squeamish about blood, but it sounds like that’s not what we’re looking at here.

  12. Apprehensive_Wrap373 Avatar

    Meh, idk, hard to tell from here. Did he shout that, add a lot of attitude, say it jokingly or calmly and casually throw it out there? Like I’m definitely grossed out by my own period for my whole life, but it’s not a sign that I hate myself, it’s just gross to me. And I definitely feel it’s unacceptable for people to leave public toilet seats bloody.

    But if he can’t differentiate between a gross bodily function and you and your body, then yeah, huge red flag.

  13. Ninja_Flower_Lady Avatar

    Is he also weird about other body functions, like burping, farting, pee, poop, etc? People have to accept that SOME grossness is just part of life, especially if you spend decades together in close proximity. Him being unable to deal with even a little bit of it is worrying. I assume you’re generally clean and it’s not like you’re leaving blood everywhere, that this happens rarely (I did have a college roommate who left period blood drips on the bathroom floor all the time, I didn’t like that since I was always careful cleaning up after myself)

    Is he himself also clean? It would be really hypocritical if he leaves urine on the toilet seat but gets on your case about your period.

    I feel like the way he scolded you was not ok. It sounded really passive aggressive and judgemental.

  14. FluffySoftFox Avatar

    Just because it’s a natural body thing does not mean it’s an appropriate thing for discussion much like you wouldn’t just casually describe in detail the shit you took the other day You should keep descriptions and discussions of your period to a minimum and it’s perfectly understandable for someone to be a bit uncomfortable with discussions of these fluids

  15. Future_Usual_8698 Avatar

    No, that’s a normal reaction to bodily fluids left on a toilet- seriously, clean up your act

  16. Blackbyrn Avatar

    Its only a red flag if he’s not willing to get over it. A lot of people, some women included, are grossed out by periods. Just break it down flat, its a normal bodily function; just like pooping, body oder, burping, and farting. If he ever plans to be with a woman let it go, buy pads, and figure out her list of period needs (candy, steak, a good movie).

  17. Mecha_Butterfree Avatar

    I guess that would depend on how he reacts to other bodily functions. like periods are body secretion so being somewhat grossed out about them is fine but if he is acting specifically grossed out by periods but not other stuff like snot, poop or regular blood then yeah that’s a a bit of a red flag in my opinion.

    Like you said he really flipped out over there being some period blood left not flushed. Does he have similar reactions to if there is a little bit of poop left on the inside of the bowl after flushing? If yes then he might just be easily disgusted by body functions in general and if not then it means he is reacting specifically to the period which is problematic.

  18. RockOn_GoldDustWoman Avatar

    Seems like he’s immature and or possibly blood phobic. If he were my guy I’d have a nice chat with him about the response and see why it’s such an issue.

  19. sinred7 Avatar

    Clean up after yourself… are you an adult or not…

  20. ILikeCoffeeAnd Avatar

    The hottest thing I ever experienced was period sex. It was all over to the point I was alarmed and he was so into it. You need a different dude

  21. Suyeta_Rose Avatar

    I’d respond with something like this :

    Ok sure, I’ll get right on top of that, no more bleeding. On another note, if you could never ever fart or shit again, that’d be greeeeaaat.

    You’re farting right now! … Oh wait, that’s not a fart, that’s the bullshit coming out of your mouth, is your ass jealous? It’s probably scared that your mouth is taking it’s job.

    But don’t take my advice, I’m a complete asshole.

    I’ve left a bit of blood on the the underneath of the toilet seat before too and my husband just cleans it for me. My son will just leave the toilet seat up because he is a bit grossed out by it and when I go to the bathroom next I’ll see it and be like OH, oops and I’ll clean it. It’s not that big of a deal. Just like if they flush and the poops comes back up, I’ll just re flush it if I see it, it’s not that big of a deal.

  22. colisocol Avatar

    maybe he should go date a man if he hates periods so much, lol? kind of comes with the territory of living with a woman, no? you’re going to see a little blood sometimes. I scrub the toilet every time I pee on my period lest my brothers get a fright and sometimes it still comes back down from the back in a watery red colour. blood is heavier than pee. 🤷🏼‍♀️

  23. SureSentence9001 Avatar

    Not all men. Some of us have no problem with it. If the woman is in the mood, I’ll gladly have fun with her.

  24. AnxiousRespond7869 Avatar

    it seems a tad over reacting, but if he pissed on the seat, how would you react?

  25. chigirl00 Avatar

    Yeah it’s a huge red flag. Immature and also how will you ever have a long term relationship?
    I have never had this issue with a man and I can’t even imagine. Would dump immediately

  26. MaggieMae68 Avatar

    Huge red flag.

    Walk away.

  27. Greensnype Avatar

    If he cannot handle a little period, than imagine what he’d do with a baby? I am not sure he gets that being a human has a lot of parts that involve a lot of fluids and things…. Not saying I love them all, but, “…so I don’t have to come home…” is a little bit of a dramatic response to something so mundane to being a human.

    I wonder how he feels about UFC. I’ll bet blood from a nose in a fight is totally acceptable….

  28. Psychehelic Avatar

    he sounds like a boy. 50% of the population have periods, its not like you’re deliberately leaving bloody tampons all over the house. He needs to get a grip. God help you if you ever have a baby and are bleeding for 6 weeks he would never help you 

  29. Love-Losing Avatar

    Yes. That’s a huge red flag. You can already tell that he won’t be there with you through sickness and through health, not if he can’t even handle a god damn period.

  30. LookinAtTheFjord Avatar

    I mean based on that one interaction being the only thing I know about the guy?

    Yeah he sounds like a piece of shit.

  31. tracyvu89 Avatar

    I guess he either grew up in a toxic masculine household or he has serious problems with human body fluids in general. Whatever it is,that’s not a good sign. It shows the immaturity of him.

  32. Not-quite-my-tempo- Avatar

    Sounds like a boy instead of a man to me

  33. iMogwai Avatar

    On the one hand he’s definitely handling it poorly, on the other hand leaving any form of bodily fluids on a toilet seat is pretty darn gross.

  34. denise7410 Avatar

    Curious the age of both of you.

  35. KleineFjord Avatar

    Men who are weird abouts periods usually aren’t close to many women and have little understanding (or tolerance) of women in general. It’s typically indicative of greater misogynistic views. However, as others have said, if he’s just a germaphobe and also upset by other bodily fluids, that’s another story. 

  36. Green-Ad3319 Avatar

    How old is he??

  37. LunchBig5685 Avatar

    Yeah babe dump him

  38. lifeinwentworth Avatar

    Asking to clean up after you use the toilet is fine though obviously it should still be done respectfully like any communication in a relationship. His reaction seems extreme if he’s getting agro about it.

    Tells you not to talk about it? Cool, if you’re too immature to talk about periods you’re too immature for sex, to have a baby, basically to have a grown up relationship lol. Periods happen every month so they’re gonna get a mention. Some people have a lot of health issues around their hormones and periods so if you can’t “handle” your partner talking about periods, you’re just a child 🤷🏼‍♀️

  39. screenaholic Avatar

    That’s not a man, that’s a boy. Being grossed out or feeling awkward about periods is immature as hell.

  40. Oceanfloorfan1 Avatar

    I think this question, like most times people ask for relationship advice, is tough to answer and you should take the comments with a grain of salt. The blood in the toilet sounds pretty bad, and if that is an isolated event and he hasn’t been a jerk like that again, it may just have been a bad day.

    I would say it’s a red flag, but not necessarily the one and only reason to break up. Maybe this is a sign at a deeper seeded character issue, or maybe he’s a freak about this one particular thing, didn’t grow up with sisters, and will eventually get over it. I don’t think anyone is this thread has the knowledge to say which it is.

    Just have a conversation about it though and stop talking to strangers on Reddit about it, then make a decision based on how that goes.

  41. Ok_Response_3484 Avatar

    One time I accidentally left a little blood underneath the toilet seat and when my partner saw the blood, he ran to me and said “babe there is blood on the toilet seat, I think someone is bleeding!!” He was so concerned that someone was sick and dying that he completely forgot about periods. That was a long conversation where he also learned that tampons stay in for hours at a time. He said “Wait so women are just walking around with cotton inside of them?! For hours?! That can’t be the best solution, they have got to come up with something better!” He learned a lot that day and not once was he grossed out or disgusted.

    If a man is grossed out by periods, he shouldn’t be with someone who is going to experience one every month.

  42. Legal_Delay_7264 Avatar

    He seems to have a legitimate concern.  Do you need to flush twice, or wipe it up? 

  43. roskybosky Avatar

    Next time you see a bit of his semen, do a big, “Ew, gross!”

  44. k_lo970 Avatar

    Yeah it is a red flag. While my husband doesn’t love talking about my period he wants to know what is going on, how to help me, and gage if I need to go to the ER (I have pcos so weird shit happens). My blood gets on stuff, again he doesn’t love it but can wipe it up and move on.

    We also talk about his bodily functions too. As you get older gross medical stuff will likely come up. You will want someone that will support you through that.

    If he isn’t squeemish he needs to grow up. Dude Dad has a pretty good video about the menstrual cycle you could show him.

  45. michalwalks Avatar

    Break up. If you stay now, then you are prolonging things and you. Oth won’t find the partners you are looking for.

  46. fruithasbugsinit Avatar

    Imagine if you reacted like this to any of his natural, recurring, involuntary bodily functions……

  47. Pourkinator Avatar

    Well maybe if it weren’t flowing out of you like a garden hose… (you specifically) just kidding, yes, it’s a red flag. Periods are normal and any guy that’s overly sensitive to them is a wuss

  48. NoDimension5252 Avatar

    He’s immature lol

  49. amaya-aurora Avatar

    There’s being uncomfortable with bodily fluids which, imo, is understandable, then there’s… that, which is just being an asshole.

  50. SlovenlyMuse Avatar

    If he’s not mature enough to deal with the biological reality of a vagina, he’s not mature enough to be intimate with one sexually.

  51. nanny2359 Avatar

    Does he scrub the toilet bowl ecery time he takes a shit?

    Does he clean the pee he sprays?

  52. ThatOldG Avatar

    He’s a child

  53. opusrif Avatar

    He definitely needs to grow up.

    I mean sure you also possibly can try to be a little more considerate and do your best to minimize any mess. However if he isn’t willing to understand this is a normal part of biology and dealing with menstruation is part of living with a woman, well, then he isn’t ready for a live in girlfriend.

  54. NectarineSufferer Avatar

    If you’re kids I guess not but as an adult woman I couldn’t be with someone so immature. Especially if you’re serious about each other and making a life together – if he’s this much of a baby about a little period blood accidentally left behind he’s gonna be useless if you have a kid (vaginal delivery or c section either way that shit gets gory) and in life people get sick and have to care for each other and he’d obv be useless at that too.

    It’s not even a red flag imo just that he is a baby man lol you can’t even talk abt your period around him? 😭 he’s a silly goose

  55. ASassyTitan Avatar

    I’m a woman and I’m grossed out by it

  56. ntraveler1 Avatar

    Depends if he has sisters. I had one brother growing up, so the reality of periods was a little gross to me when i first married my wife.

    I got over it, but growing up there was never any conversation around the house of feminine products or cycles or anything.

    My son is much less bothered because he overheard convo from his two sisters. Not that he is apart of those conversations, but it’s more out in the open.

  57. Antique-Aardvark-184 Avatar

    Well it is a disgusting, awful, painful thing every woman has to go through every month. And anything with blood isn’t the most awesome sauce

  58. Pale_Height_1251 Avatar

    If he has a genuine phobia of blood, OK, but if it’s just periods, then he’s probably just a bit lame.

  59. -CheeseLover69- Avatar

    I would say yes, it is a red flag. If he can’t deal with hearing about what comes out of a vagina, he doesn’t deserve to enter one.

    Periods are a normal part of life when you have vagina, so if he wants to date someone who has one, he needs to grow a pair of ovaries and accept it as something that will come up in conversation.

    ~ Eclipse

  60. Broccobillo Avatar

    Yeah I’ve personally got no problems with it. My girlfriend once said she’d like to have sex but she was on her period so she couldn’t. I said why not? I’d still do it. So we had sex. It was just like normal really but I didn’t go down on her.

    Simple as that.

  61. OldBat001 Avatar

    Clean up after yourself at the very least.

    I read my husband the riot act over skid marks, so let’s just be a little more considerate with shared facilities, OK?

  62. josemeek Avatar

    Why is almost everyone saying his a child, poor character, etc. Grow up, guys. i can’t even stand any form of blood.

    While it’s not a reason to start a fight with a partner, there are a lot of people blood makes uncomfortable.

    OP. You know your partner, and we don’t. You also know if he’s irresponsible or not. You have all the cards and we’re spectators. Good luck

  63. Possumnal Avatar

    I find- and I think we’ll all agree here –all bodily effluvia to be gross to a certain extent. Spit, blood, urine, semen, excrement, etc.

    Now obviously when I’m making love to someone I don’t find their spit or jizz to be disgusting, but there’s a difference between sexual things happening in the heat of the moment vs stepping onto a room-temperature cum-sock at noon.

    I’m an adult and I understand that sometimes people’s problems include gross things, but they’re still my loved ones. I’m sympathetic to my partner if they’re complaining about something gross like having diarrhea, but I would still be irked if they didn’t flush afterwards. My bus driver or coworker on the other hand would not find me quite so willing to listen and I’d expect more decorum. Is your partner a little immature to not even want to talk about the fact that as a woman you menstruate? Yes, I’d say so. But it is a red flag? Nah, not really.

  64. CODMAN627 Avatar

    I think it depends on how he reacts to other bodily waste products. If he’s consistent in his disgust it’s not necessarily a red flag it’s just someone who can’t handle it.

    If it’s periods specifically then I would say he’s childish

  65. Accomplished_Sock435 Avatar

    Yes! A man who is grossed out by a period is immature and not worth your time.

  66. Haunting_Leg_7409 Avatar

    depends on the tone guy used. but some people are grossed out or could even faint if they see blood so throw him a bone..