So I (22f) have been in three “relationships” lasting four to six months. Two out of three were complete DISASTERS. I would usually date for relationships but either I was bad at picking partners or my luck was bad. So I basically switched my mindset to being more light hearted with dating and sex …I recently came to the conclusion that I actually kinda like casual sex and dating. I don’t have to think about anyone when I make a major decision.
For instance, I’ll be applying to grad schools and I won’t have to factor a long term partner in mind if I chose to apply to a school that’s far away. I can go clubbing with my girls without a man nagging and complaining about me going out sometimes ! I can just be free and do me. Now this is not to say that love is dead and I am closing my heart to true love because that couldn’t be further from the truth. One day I would love to settle down and maybe have one child, but right now I just want to ride, and enjoy the ride of life! I don’t want to have to sacrifice a lot in my early 20s bc I was tied down.
Now I know casual sex isn’t for everyone but it taught me that I don’t need to be ashamed for liking sex. I grew up in a religious household and my dad sadly was so patriarchal that he wanted just his daughters to save themselves for marriage.
I always thought that was bs. I don’t need to be in a relationship just so I can have sex. It’s a natural urge to have. Also it taught me not to be afraid to ask for what I want. Like for instance, I started bringing a vibrator so I can have my happy ending too! Surprisingly so many men liked it and had no issue. What im doing is probably counterproductive but the skills that I gained from this era has taught me many valuable things for when and if I ever find my person. Is it bad that right now I prefer to keep things casual to learn what I want in a partner before trying again for a relationship?