Is it bad to want physical touch when the kids are sleeping?
I’m 21F a single mom going through a lot. There’s an old friend from high school down the street that I’ve always liked. Nothing romantic. I don’t have time, energy, or desire for that. My full focus is on my kids. But would it be morally wrong to invite him over for a drink when the kids are sleeping and have adult time? Like just once or twice? It’s been since March I believe that I’ve done anything like that. And my body feels like “come on girl you are gonna sleep better after this”. But also I’ve been hellbent on only thinking about my kids 24/7 all hours of the day every single day because I’m on a mission to find my independence and be the great mom that I dream about.
Comments
Nah, it’s not wrong to want some adult time. As long as you’re setting healthy boundaries and keeping it casual, it’s okay to take care of yourself too, just don’t forget why you’re doing all this in the first place
Nothing wrong at all with it. Just let the other know you’re not looking for long term.
Most people just never have sex again after the first kid so they can focus all their attention on the kids. That combined with the fact most men would be upset at being used purely for physical pleasure makes me think this is a bad idea.
You deserve it! Go for it! And done rule out romance so fast.
If you’re both single, what’s the problem?
not only is it not bad, but I dare say your wellbeing and fulfillment, even sexual, is an integral part of being the best mom to your kids. thinking about them 24/7 is not what you need or should be doing. you need to make sure you provide for them and you need to make sure you give them a safe and structured environment, but you also need to think about your wellbeing (physical and mental).
as long as you don’t lose track of what’s important (i.e. you dont abandon your kids unattended at home, and you dont bring dangerous people and substances to your house) having some good sex is just going to make your life better.
not bad at all, you’re human too. wanting connection or touch doesn’t mean you care less about your kids. balance matters and taking care of your needs can help you show up even better for them
I think the ideal would be for you to find someone to stay with your children and go somewhere else with them.
Even if you know, don’t put men in your house for the well-being of the children.
Your kids don’t need to know who you’re in a relationship with until it’s really serious
Children are affected by mothers who bring strangers home
And this affects their adulthood
But there’s nothing wrong with taking your time and enjoying it
If you’re not looking to be in a relationship with them then I highly advise against using them as a FWB unless they agree to just be a booty call & fully understand thar you’re not romantically interested in them. In my experience with FWB situations someone always catches feelings so I stopped doing that but you’re an adult so the choice is up to you. Just be up front with them about it if you do go that route.
You’re a grown adult and can do whatever you want to with your free time. I’d say if you want to do it, then get on to it lmaoo
I may be downvoted for this but I’d dare to say that your male friend will be more than happy with something casual and no expectation of anything else, especially at that age. Fill your boots. Have a transparent chat with him and set your boundaries… Have fun!
To state the obvious, having kids at 21 is obviously not very wise, however living your life and having adult experiences while kids are sleeping is completely normal
Wanting a little adult time doesn’t make you a bad mom it just means you’re human and need to feel alive too.
Lol 3 kids at 21, might as well.make it 5 with 3 different dads
The idea that you feel your kids need to be your focus 24/7 is not very reasonable.
No one does that. If a mom has ever done so much as watched a TV show she’s shifted her focus to do it. Your job is to make sure they are safe, fulfilled and loved.
But you need sleep, you need fulfillment, you need to eat. You have needs too that won’t help you as a mom to ignore them. The gig is hard enough without having to resort to unreasonable expections.
Sure is alot going on i your life..looked at your profile. Maybe not quite yet until you get things straightened out
Here’s the thing. Stop stressing about tomorrow or about your Mother of the Year award. I assume you were an overachiever in highschool as well? And it got you to being a parent at twenty one. Being overly obsessed with stuff like being the best mom turns you into the worst kinda mom. And going down the street for some mommy daddy time with the kid you knew in high school makes you insane as that’s likely what got you into this situation in the first place. Think about the consequences.
Where’s your children’s father????
You have 3 kids and are 21. The last thing you need is more kids.
Single mother, multiple kids, 21? I’d advise avoiding physical touch for a while.
Scummy imo
Not trying to judge but the multiple kids at 21 gives me pause.
Of course there is nothing wrong with adult time but logically what if one of your children woke up? Is it possible for them to walk in?
Does it mean anything for your children to see you with multiple random partners?
And why is the physical contact what your seeking rather than a partner ?
Go and make love; that’s okay!
Ya if you can. Do. Been married forever rolling up on the 9 year mark myself
My wife and I bang when the kids are sleeping all the time. Have at it.