Location: Colorado
(i am 15, will be 16 in october)so for slight background i don’t have a good relationship with my dad in general and never have. he’s been abusing me, maybe not physically, but emotionally for years, and he is a raging alcoholic, he drinks almost every single night, to the point where he doesn’t remember things the next day. he also gets high in occasion, his room smells like weed. i’m only 15, but my two older sibling are able to pick and choose where they’d like to go(moms or dads) so im the last minor left between us three. so when i am at my dads house, i do not feel safe nor comfortable at his house or around him in general.
so much so that when i got into yet another fight with him two weeks ago, where i was supposedly throwing him sass, i panicked and wanted to escape his house and the situation, so i took scissors to my wrist. i ended up going to the hospital, and a social worker deemed that i can stay at my moms.
ive been with her since, and my mom has been attempting to file papers for a hearing to change the custody arrangement so i can pick and choose which house(mom or dads) i want to stay at, whenever. she went to court with my dad today for it, she’s not even home yet, but she texted me that because my mom has no proof of my dads emotional and verbal abuse(he is constantly calling me names, threatening me(whipping with a belt, etc), telling me that im in prison when im at his house, so on.), i have to see him again until the next court date is filed by my mom.
im shaking typing this right now because i know maybe i shouldn’t be in here at my age asking for help on this but im scared to go to his house. when i cut myself two weeks ago he told me he would take my door away, and that i’d be scared, and that id be getting more consequences for nothing. im worried he’ll be on my ass if i have to go there today, im scared my door to my room will be gone, im scared he’ll take my only form of contact away(phone), i’m scared he’s gonna yell at me, i’m scared he’ll punish me or even take my medication(zoloft) away, i’m scared ill panic again and cut myself again. i don’t want to see him and im scared of what will happen to me if i see him again, but im also scared of what could happen to my mom if i refuse to go to his house and stay at my moms. i dont want her to get in trouble but i dont know what else to do. i heard somewhere once that i can refuse to go to my dads and the police cannot do anything and obviously my dad can’t just break into my moms house. but i don’t know for sure.
Comments
NAL but Colorado doesn’t have age specific custody decisions like you’re asking. Your mom needs to set another court date, but you need to document every instance of abuse if/when you go back to your father’s. Think about it as being under cover, and hopefully you will handle it better, because you know you’re trying to get away. Grey rock, do not engage, don’t argue back, but don’t tell him you’re trying to never come back.
Starting now, draft a letter you’d like your mother to give to a judge, stating what you have said in this and that you do not feel safe. Ask any social workers from the hospital who were there for your SH treatment to write their own statement.
Have your mom take photos of any belt welts when you get back to her place. What I mean by documenting is as soon as you can after any instance, write down what room, what was said/ what was done, time and date. Colorado is also a one-party consent state I think on recordings, but you may not want to chance that as you can’t be sure his reaction if you’re caught.
Like your mom said, she didn’t have enough proof. Start gathering it.
Call Child Protection Services (US), or the equivalent to that where you’re from. Call when he’s drunk.