I kinda hate my personality because i’m too naive at times, and people can see this and take advantage and abuse me in every form like at work my coworkers don’t notice or look over my hard work, ppl always see me as slow mentally even though I had a IEP and all my life from pre-k-12th. I got sexually assaulted at my job by my supervisor and 2 other coworkers in the bathroom because I had to clean it due to orders, I remember before this weeks this happening a coworker(The abuser) came i the bathroom undoing his pants in front of me and I left because I was embarrassed and left teary eyed and just went somewhere else, and he came up to me and asked me if I was okay and stuff but he almost got in trouble he was mad at me.
So in the bathroom were the assault happen I just so happen to see him again in the bathroom with two other guys my supervisor being one of them they were smoking weed or something they didn’t have anything out like their junk, I was relief to see my supervisor at first and just figured he was monitoring me and I just waved at him because I told him once how I felt uncomfortable cleaning the men bathroom and I would’ve left the bathroom but I remember how I left quickly and almost got him in trouble even though I didn’t say anything and I felt bad about it and just figured that these guys were “safe” guys who wouldn’t do anything sexually or harm me, because to me they seemed very nice or just act normally.
After they were done I was confused and dazed at little I was high from secondhand smoke, a female coworker noticed and asked me what was wrong not knowing I was high, but I was afraid to tell so I didn’t tell her and my supervisor lured me to the breakroom and told me to keep my mouth shut and keep what happen a secret and I agree because my crush as well as 2nd person wanted me to and I was also scared.
At the time I was wondering if my crush liked me because he was feeling and touching on me too, I didn’t understand it why he would touch me if he didn’t like me, I was also wondering the same for the other guys but never asked them, I never had a bf before and I kinda mistook someone being sexually inappropriate behavior as “Oh they must have a crush on that person”
A year later, I basically forgotten about most of it and I remember one of the guys sat down next me and I recall him being outside with before this but never spoken, So since he sitting down next to me I decided to greet him and introduce myself thinking he’s a new employee and strike up a conversation he basically told me things about his life and stuff. Even though I thought he was new I remember feeling a bit uneasy..
Idk why they think they could abuse me and get away with it even though they did, a part of me thinks it could’ve been due to the fact I was an outcast and often mistreated by others sometimes.