( sorry if my english is bad it’s not my first language)
I was sa’d for years by my mother’s boyfriends and by some people at school, and once it first started happening, I hated anything to do with sex which is normal(?) But even after about 3 years of being away from them I still feel that way and some of my friends say it’s weird that I still feel that way because it already been a years but I don’t think it’s weird because there nothing I can do about the way I feel so is it really that weird?
Comments
Yes that can happen, you are not crazy. Seek a therapist
Edit. I answered yes to the 1st question.
It isn’t weird you just experienced a compact of emotions that you saved for yourself and as a way to express it you hated the closest thing that in your mind describing them you can get over by some doctors help
No, it’s not weird at all, and it wouldn’t even be weird if you were seeing a therapist. AND – you should see a therapist. Even more, if at some point in the future you have ketamine therapy available to you, you should do it. Trauma actually changes the brain, and ketamine is a great way to help put everything back to normal… it really is miraculous.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Aversion to intimacy is common among sa survivors, and probably not something you can navigate on your own that would result in a healthy outcome. Your unfortunate experiences may negatively affect more than just your intimate relationships, especially as you get older. Please seek out local resources, whether it’s therapy or support groups for sa survivors. I wish you all the best during your healing process. 💙
You are not crazy—you went through something traumatic. You don’t owe anyone anything. If sex is something that you don’t want to have anything to do with that’s fine. It might be helpful to seek therapy, especially if sex is something you think you might want in the future or your distaste for sex gets in the way of taking care of yourself (i.e. hygiene). Therapy would probably be helpful even if you aren’t looking to revisit your relationship with sex/intimacy. But again, you don’t owe anyone anything. Trauma lasts a lifetime and for some SA survivors they never have sex again. Your reactions are normal. No one should judge anyone for why they do or do not have sex. Your healing might look different than what other people “expect” it to look like, but that does not mean that your methods for healing aren’t valid. ♥️
No Not Weird
It is entirely normal to feel aversion and fear around sex after being abused by multiple people, and you’re not crazy for feeling that way.
However, you deserve not to be in pain and to reach a point where physical intimacy is fulfilling for you rather than painful. Find whatever therapeutic resources you can, it’s absolutely not your fault other people chose to hurt you and you deserve to heal.
Totally normal.
Its not weird but natural to happen after having a traumatic experiences like this.. I have suffered it a number of times myself in my childhood, so I totally get you.. watched Satya me vijayate by Amir Khan and 1 episode was on this.. you should see too. That actually made realise my inner self better and about the trauma I still had due to it.. literally my blood used to boil.. thinging of all this and it was negatively impacting me that I did not feel comfortable even in my mother touching me suddenly. Luckily, I got a amazing boyfriend who is not my husband, who I was naturally comfortable with and openly told him about the darkest shits in my life.. that no one knew .. the way he supported and adapted to it was so perfect that I no longer feel that way. Also, you can talk to a professional about it if its really to much difficult for you to be confident in this area of life.
It’s not weird, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. You should see a therapist to help you work through this. Sex will likely be an important part of any future serious relationship, and it will be better to deal with it now than when you are in a committed relationship (if you aren’t already)
I’m very sorry that you were abused. How you’re feeling isn’t weird it’s very normal given your circumstances. Your friends don’t sounds very educated on SA.
You should get therapy, it will help.
Take care
First off nobody can tell you how to feel or what you should feel. Secondly the only thing in life you can have complete and total control of is your own metal attitude. You should seek professional help. Don’t let them put you on medication but I do believe you could stand to talk with someone who is specialized in that field. I had something like that happen to me just around the time i turned 11 or 12 and it fucked me up. As an adult i went to counseling and it was a huge help. Good luck on your journey. I hope all goes well for you. Chevrolet up it’s not your fault.
You’re not crazy at all what you’re feeling is completely normal for a survivor. It can take years (or longer) to feel safe with anything sexual again. Everyone heals at their own pace, and your feelings are valid. Anyone saying it’s “weird” just doesn’t understand trauma
Yea it definitely is normal for sure. Your trust has been broken around so many things and it’s easy for our minds to not want more trauma so it’ll kinda classify sex as “bad/scary”. Definitely don’t be hard on yourself, you don’t have to have sex with people, you don’t have to feel like it, and there’s nothing wrong with you at all. If you can and want to I’d recommend talking to someone about it (someone who won’t judge or push you into it) and maybe work on self pleasure instead (no rush to it, no judgement, the only goal is your pleasure). I’ve gone through this each time I was assaulted and you can be happy no matter what option you choose, which the most important thing is your happiness and peace.
Not weird to feel this way.
I hope you can find the support you need to keep healing. Your friends sound insensitive and naive… and generally not great?
Good luck! 🍀
I think that’s a pretty normal response. I hope one day you can get through it and enjoy that part of your life again.
There are people who go their whole lives not having sex after being SA’d, that’s completely normal. You will need to have therapy, it’s probably going to have to be extensive. It’s something that will affect you for the rest of your life, it’s something that you have been horribly wronged by and it might dictate a lot of things in your life.
I have also been SA’d numerous times, both by men and women. I’m a 27 lesbian and I am terrified of sex, but at the same time it’s something I want to overcome. Something to conquer. I want to live confidently, not in fear. I hope the same for you too. 3 years is not a long time, you are still dealing with the early emotions from it and have probably not accepted everything mentally.
I hope that you thrive, that you find the strength to either get help or face everything with people you trust. Your friends are ridiculous, they don’t understand what it’s like so they can’t even understand what you’re going through. I hope you can find a friend who understands what it’s like to have mental health issues.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. It is normal. I had the opposite experience and got hyper sexual after my assault.. which was also normal. Whatever you do to cope is normal and perfectly fine. If you are able to I suggest you get counseling to help you process.
Some people do respond to sexual abuse that way, others don’t. Some embrace sex to la limited degree, some adjust to average sexual expression in time, even become “hypersexual”, and I don’t think science understands why human responses to similar traumas vary so much.
The important thing, OP, is that your life is your own now! YOU choose when and if you want to express yourself sexually, and if you don’t, that’s your choice and and your life. YOU choose.
I have known people who either go asexual or completely the opposite way, hyper sexual, after experiencing that kind of abuse.
I’m sorry that all happened to you.
There are sexual health professionals that may be able to help you form a better relationship to sex, if that’s the route you want to go. I’m sure many therapists also specialize in sex or sexual relationships or sexual healing.
It’s up to you how you want to go about it.
Take care. ❤️
You’re traumatized and probably have ptsd. You never forget the assaults and truly never heal. There will always be scars, fears, and a different view of sex. Being repulsed by sex after assault is normal. You’ll need counseling to heal from severe sexual abuse. I’m so very sorry this happened to you. You are not alone. Time to heal your wounds.
100% normal. Your friends suck for saying that. Get better friends.
Also, avoid dating until you’ve healed through therapy and are 100% better. Dating when you’re not sure you’re there yet could put you in uncomfortable situations that could set back your healing journey.
It is very understandable. Your pain n is real. You deserve help healing. ❤️🩹
Just like you said, you can’t help the way you feel. People get better at varying rates. There’s not one fix all for trauma. Your friends are making assumptions based on what or who? You take however long you take. Tough cookie! Someone else mentioned therapy and I think it’s a great idea. I wish those a-holes were held accountable for what they did to you but they probably got away with it. People like that are sociopaths, so they probably don’t even feel guilty. But no, you’re not crazy or weird.