I’m in a wedding and in passing my friend, the bride, mentioned to me and two other of the bridesmaids that we would be expected to clean up after the wedding. I have only been in one other wedding and we didn’t do that. The way the girls were talking is seemed they had all discussed it and had previously done it for the matron of honors wedding too. It has not been talked about since and I think it’s just an expectation they all have. They all live in the area, I live 4 hours away and have a lot more travel time than them.
I mentioned this to my parents and my best friend, gwen, and they were all appalled that that was expected of the bridal party. Gwen mentioned it to her bf who’s been in 10+ weddings and he said he’s never heard of that and would leave and not help clean.
Just wondering is it normal to expect the bridal party to clean up? For reference I looked up the venue and saw in the price package set up and clean up was included, so I’m wondering if they tried to get a cheaper price and didn’t take the clean up services.
Edit: I’m not offended and will help if it’s needed I am just wondering if this is normal? This is only the second wedding I’ve been apart of.
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Backup of the post’s body: I’m in a wedding and in passing my friend, the bride, mentioned to me and two other of the bridesmaids that we would be expected to clean up after the wedding. I have only been in one other wedding and we didn’t do that. The way the girls were talking is seemed they had all discussed it and had previously done it for the matron of honors wedding too. It has not been talked about since and I think it’s just an expectation they all have. They all live in the area, I live 4 hours away and have a lot more travel time than them.
I mentioned this to my parents and my best friend, gwen, and they were all appalled that that was expected of the bridal party. Gwen mentioned it to her bf who’s been in 10+ weddings and he said he’s never heard of that and would leave and not help clean.
Just wondering is it normal to expect the bridal party to clean up? For reference I looked up the venue and saw in the price package set up and clean up was included, so I’m wondering if they tried to get a cheaper price and didn’t take the clean up services.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
If it’s at a venue, then absolutely not normal to clean up.
Are they maybe meaning pack up the decor/gifts that the bride was taking home? Then that makes sense for the bridal party to get all together.
It’s not normal and I’d just tell the bride that you can’t stay after to clean because you have such a long drive home, so sorry. Also ask her why the venue doesn’t do the cleaning because you’re really surprised they don’t. If they want to be super cheap and not pay for cleaning services, that’s on them. I sure wouldn’t expect my bridesmaids to be doing janitor work after a long day of wedding stuff, not to mention they won’t be dressed for cleaning. She’s ridiculous.
I don’t think they mean “clean up” like sweep and wipe down tables or anything, it’s more likely pack up decor etc and that’s a pretty typical expectation.
I know that the first venue we looked at required us to clean up after… but it gave so much anxiety because nobody wants to go through that. We could hire a cleaning crew. Our venue cleaned up our stuff and we just had to pick it up in the morning. My cousin did offer to help because I did help her clean after all her events.
No, that’s not normal, unless the venue is held at some place super casual, but that doesn’t sound like the case. I’ve been in 5 weddings and I helped load things into someone’s car like gifts, a few centerpieces, and things like that, but that’s it. I wasn’t cleaning tables.
My guess is that they are trying to avoid the cleanup we from the venue. My friend’s daughter recently got married and there was quite a hefty charge for the cleanup. They paid for it. His daughter would never expect her bridal party too clean up after her wedding.
It depends on the situation. My daughter’s wedding was held in a church and we also used the fellowship hall for the meal afterwards. I do not recall the wedding party doing the clean up but the bride’s family (me and mine) and groom’s family all stayed behind to clean up and put things back to what they were before we had the wedding/meal. The grooms father married them and he knew the pastor of the church and made the plans for the church and that included clean up. So, it is possible to have to do the clean up if it is a church being used. We had to put back tables/chairs, get all decor out, place the Sunday School classrooms back in order, make sure we had gotten everyone’s items out, got the kitchen cleaned up and all food/containers and such removed. And whatever else we were needing to make sure of we did.
EDIT TO ADD:
I do not think it is normal, however, in my daughter’s case, it was expected. Everyone that stayed behind pitched in and we got it all done with no issues. Why I said it depends on situation.
My guess is that the bride did not pay for venue clean up and paid a deposit that will be refunded if the venue is clean. You, are free labor.
I was a bridesmaid in several weddings and always stayed to help clean up after each wedding. In all some situations the items were rented or even purchased by the bride and had to be ready for pickup. So we pulled linens off the tables, grabbed decor, and centerpieces etc. Helped carry gifts, pick up trash and clean up.
I think it all comes down to perspective. Being apart of the bridal party is being in the intimate circle of the bride and groom. If you want to be close enough to see the intimate details, but not care enough to want to help (which isn’t a bad thing) I’d say maybe just be a guest so you can enjoy the event with no obligation to help.
Personally, when I got married, I asked no one for anything because they had this mindset. I just knew how to read the room. I planned my own bachelorette, bridal shower, decor, and me sweet husband and I did clean up on our own the next day.
I don’t think any less of anyone for not wanting to help, but when I put so much work into an event that we paid for ourselves for other people to come and celebrate with us….it would’ve meant the world to have people around us that were genuinely excited and wanted to help. To have someone there with me excited and decorating and just bonding over such a huge moment for me. It would’ve costed them nothing to send a text offering help. But it would’ve meant everything to me if they did. That would’ve been priceless
Kind of depends on the venue. If you’re just using a church basement, yes, it would be expected for the wedding party to handle it, whether that’s directly or through delegation.
If it’s a paid venue, they should handle other
It depends. I’ve been in both situations. If I’m close enough to the couple and they need help, I’m in.
I would ask some very direct questions, starting with:
“Do you mean that you’d like for us to make sure we get our stuff out of the bridal room?” or “Do you need help getting centerpieces or gifts loaded up after the event?”
Because if you mean “I’m gonna need you ladies to clear off the tables and stack chairs, etc.” it’s going to have to be a hard pass from me.
I see there are quite a few comments saying they think the bride and groom are just trying to save money by not taking the cleaning services. You may be right, but I find it hard to accept that any self respecting venue would leave cleaning to guests, and not use their own staff, cleaning products or outsourced company. If it hasn’t been done to the standard ready for the next event, they end up having to do it anyway, but just not recovering any of the cost.
Your bride and groom are not paying the clean up fee and are expecting you to do it for free. That’d be a heck no from me !
This is a discussion to have with the group.
“Hi all, I just recently learned that we, the bridal party are going to be cleaning up the venue after the wedding.
Do I have that correct?
If so…
What exactly does that entail?
I have a 4 hour drive after the wedding and expect to be tired so…
If we can break down responsibilities I ask to be able to choose a couple that I feel confident I can complete before I have to leave to drive the many hours home.
Please let me know.
Thank!”
I’ve been in probably 10 weddings, and aside from helping take gifts and such out to a car afterwards I have never been asked to clean up after the wedding.
I got asked this as a guest before and bailed. Why am I cleaning up an event that I was invited to as a guest? Also I don’t need to take home a bunch of wedding decor crap that I don’t need.