hi, sorry if this question is stupid or weird đ
i (27f) went to the doctor yesterday to address some lower abdominal pain i’ve been feeling for the last several weeks. the doctor said that it’s possibly an ovarian cyst and that i needed an ultrasound, and most likely a transvaginal ultrasound as well. i explained my anxiety around the transvaginal ultrasound (i’ve never even had a pap, though i’m scheduled for one in december!) and she included on the order not to perform the transvaginal ultrasound if the other one was sufficient.
so this morning, i went in for my ultrasound appointment. in the exam room, the doctor sonographer (not the first one i saw, a different one)(edit: sorry, wrong word!) was explaining that they’d been asked not to perform the transvaginal ultrasound if possible, and i told her about my anxiety, how i’d never even had a pap but i was completely willing to just go ahead and get the transvaginal ultrasound if she felt that the other wouldn’t be good enough, and she kinda stopped and said “have you ever been sexually active?” and i said no.
she then explained that she found the idea of allowing a transvaginal ultrasound on someone in a “virginal condition” to be “morally reprehensible”, and that i would not be getting that ultrasound. she said that with a full bladder, just the regular ultrasound would be fine. i didn’t argue because i didn’t really want that ultrasound anyway and she was nice, just very firm about it, and the other ultrasound continued as planned.
on the one hand, i’m glad i didn’t have to go through it. on the other hand, though, i’m a little worried about the fact that this could potentially impact my healthcare. what if the ultrasound i got isn’t enough?
i don’t know, i just feel kinda weird about it? is this normal?
edit: thank you all for the responses!! i really appreciate all of these different viewpoints for helping me view the situation with less anxiety and more compassion. it’s been very helpful to read all of your experiences, and i’m sorry to those who’ve had traumatic ultrasounds. â¤
i would really like to believe that she was just looking out for my comfort, but the way she phrased it made me feel that she was prioritizing her own beliefs over my health, and it made me feel super icky and weird. i don’t intend to file any complaints, but i will definitely be bringing it up with my doctor next time i see her. this happened at a hospital in pennsylvania which luckily isn’t my “local” hospital, just the one that could get me scheduled really quickly, so i’ll try not to go there again.
this all happened at like, 8AM this morning and it’s so ridiculous looking back. i just can’t believe that happened. tomorrow this will all feel like one of my terrible lexapro dreams đ the results were added to my portal a couple hours ago and they’re unremarkable, so i’ll just have to wait to hear from my doctor to find out my next step. but if the next step is the tvus that i was denied today i will crash out probably. (:
Comments
That sounds like some purity bullshit….
32 year old virgin here! I always get them. (twice a year for almost 4 years now, yay endometriosis) They don’t bother me one bit! I find their logic kinda weird to be honest. Is it a culture thing maybe?
Your original doctor said not to do it if the standard version was fine, so it sounds like that both of them thought the regular one may suffice. The doctor was out of pocket and would recommend not seeing them at all. But it’s the same reasons pharmacists can turn down giving out birth control (edit: within the US).
Did you follow up with the original doctor on the findings and results to determine if more was necessary? If more is necessary, ask them to refer you to a different ultrasound clinic to have it done.
Iâm erring on the side of human compassion as opposed to anything sinister/inappropriate.. maybe the doctor felt it would be uncomfortable for you considering (I assume) you havenât had any penetration before. Even with lubrication, there is likely to be a lot of pressure and maybe even pain.
When you next see your regular doctor, I’d mention this to them. The regular ultrasound probably was fine (I’ve had one for the same thing and if it wasn’t clear enough they’d be able to tell that while doing it – in mine they had to stop, tell me to go drink more water and come back in 15 minutes to resume) but the adamancy of ‘morally reprehensible’ is definitely weird and there may certainly be virgins who actually need transvaginal ultrasounds.
Does she also think it’s morally reprehensible to use a tampon?
Yeah it’s weird. I was offered one as a virgin teen to help diagnose some abdominal/menstrual discomfort. I declined because I didn’t want it, but I cannot fathom being denied your medical options.
A shocking number of people who work in womenâs healthcare services are extremely conservative.Â
This had nothing to do with your medical needs. This had to do with the doctorâs cultural/religious beliefs. She had no business making medical decisions for you based on these beliefs.Â
Iâd seek a second opinion. A third, if possible/necessary. This was not a barrier you should have encountered.Â
Itâs fine you didnât have one⌠and it sounds like your original doctor listened to you.
But it being morally wrong is nonsense. Sheâs not claiming your virginity by doing it for goodness sake.
In the UK they are much less likely to do internal ultrasounds anyway, so sheâs right about the full bladder.
Virginity is a social construct and not biological reality, so your virginity should have absolutely no bearing on the medical care you receive.
The only charitable explanation I could give is she was concerned you would find it especially invasive because you’ve never experienced any form of penetration before, but honestly I doubt your comfort was what she was thinking about there.
I think reporting it just so it’s on record, even if it doesn’t go anywhere, might be an idea.
“Morally Reprehensible” – As if nothing ELSE could possibly have gone up there >.> fucking Puritanical doctors
[deleted]
Ummm…. I am not a doctor but I am a woman (51F, and have given birth to two children) so I can speak from first hand experience with pap smears, sex, and vaginal ultrasounds! I would think that if a procedure was recommended and/or deemed medically necessary, then it doesn’t matter whether you are a virgin or not, including a vaginal ultrasound. They literally have nothing to do with each other. So I’m confused.
Her comment about it being “morally reprehensible” is not based on medicine, but on her own personal beliefs, which imo, should never be part of the discussion or practice for a medical professional in any way. Having an ultrasound has nothing to do with sex. I mean, obviously having a device put up your vagina, if you’ve never had anything else up there before (maybe besides a tampon, menstrual cup, or vibrator?), might be a little uncomfortable, but it’s not a sexual thing and she is making it out to be one. You lose your virginity when you have sex with another person, plain and simple. Plus you’re getting a pap in a couple of months. So I don’t get it.
If the regular ultrasound was sufficient, that is fine, but if there was something they saw with the results that required further investigation, and a vaginal ultrasound was required, then you would/should have it done. Period. Doctors deal with patient anxiety all the time and most have great bedside manner, and are super nice and gentle for women having first time procedures like this. They do it all the time!
I had one before I was sexually active with another person, I lied and said I was. Purity bullshit. Adult people should be allowed to decide if a procedure is right for them.
That is bullshit and that doctor should be reported
Wtf. Completely unacceptable especially for someone providing medical care. Iâve never heard of âthat should be good enoughâ for running tests, if anything they want to make sure. This doctor finding it morally reprehensible to provide thorough treatment because it pertains to her opinions on virginity is bizarre, inappropriate and unethical.
I wonder what her “morals” would say if you came back in and said “don’t worry, I had a ONS so that this wouldn’t compromise my purity!”
Hi! I was a 16 year old virgin when I had my first transvaginal ultrasound for an ovarian cyst. I would have likely had irreparable damage to my reproductive system without the information gleamed from it. (This was also almost 15 years ago fwiw). It doesnât sound like youâre in this precarious of a health situation, but I wanted to make the point that delaying a scan like this can easily cause someone serious health issues and prolong TERRIBLE pain.
This is absolute bullshit. I think it could be worth making a complaint to the healthcare facility if youâre up for it. I know one complaint usually doesnât do much but it could if there are existing complaints.
I would hate for another patient to not get proper care because a doctor thinks your value as a woman has to do with your hymen (yeah Iâm definitely making some assumptions here but Iâm done with this kind of bs)
I had a necessary one when I was a virgin. It was absolutely awful and didn’t tell my docs anything. I felt hugely violated.  A few years later, I did one again and it was much better.
As someone who got a transvaginal ultrasound as a virgin I would say they did you a huge favor! It hurts like hell!! I would interpret what the doctor said as there is no reason to hurt and freak you out with it if it isnât necessary. Not having anything to do with purity or any of that bullshit.
No, I have had one as a virgin. It helped make sure my uterus was okay. It’s a medical prodecure and that is it.
WTF?!? This isnât normal and decisions about how best to assess your medical problems shouldnât be based on your virginity status or the doctorâs fucked up sense of morality.
Basically, if you’ve never been sexually active, you like have never had anything wider than a tampon in your vagina. The handheld scan used for the ultrasound is much, much wider than a tampon. This can be quite painful and feel very invasive.
Even people who aren’t virgins can find the transvaginal ultrasound painful. I’ve had a few transvaginal ultrasounds (my IUD string loves getting sucked up, so I’ve had to be checked that the IUD is where it should be). The first time was not painful at all and just felt like pressure. The next time it felt a little painful. That was simply variation in how the ultrasound tech could apply it and get the position needed.
So basically, because it is more invasive than scanning your lower abdomen, your doctors were trying to look out for your comfort. The ultrasound provider used stronger words, but wants to prevent patients feeling violated from an invasive scan. I wouldn’t say it’s unethical, but that there should be extra considerations like your original doctor put in place.
This might be worth running by r/askdocs
Report this to admin.
They should not be using their own messed up moral judgment to keep you from getting necessary medical testing.
It might be physically uncomfortable for you. But ask that the technician tell you what they are doing, and be prepared to stop if you are uncomfortable.
And make sure they note that this was a doctorâs decision not yours so you arenât charged.
I think your gyno was coming from a place of not putting you under anymore duress than needed especially since you brought up your anxiety multiple times. I had a transvaginal ultrasound when I was 14 and in the ER due to a grapefruit sized cyst ready to burst (was diagnosed with endometriosis that day). I was a virgin at the time and was forced, without consent or notice, to have this ultrasound done amongst a room full of people. It was excruciating and humiliating. While I do think as an adult you have a right to choose what procedures youâre comfortable with I think she may be trying to save some pain and doesnât feel comfortable putting you through that unless the other test doesnât suffice. You can always take this test result and your situation to a second opinion too.
Itâs not normal, in the sense that it shouldnât happen. But it did happen to me and I only realised afterwards that it was BS. To make it worse, I lived in a country where when I went to gynaes or doctors for my difficult periods, I was asked âare you married?â instead of âare you sexually active?â
Unfortunately normal ultrasounds didnât work for me because there wasnât a lot or clarity (something about gas making the scan unclear), but even then my doctor wouldnât relent for a TVU and she said âyou probably donât have any serious cysts from what little I can see here.â
I was also told that âwhen youâre married, youâll probably have less pain.â I think they meant being sexually active and/or giving birth but it was a lot of religious and cultural purity (a conservative, Muslim majority society) and not real scientifically-based medical advice.Â
Anyway. In the meanwhile, still a virgin, still have painful periods but canât wait for some mysterious faraway man to save me from the pain đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸Â
I know a lot of women who had that happen to.
The reason was “it could be traumatic”
Her reasoning is bullshit. There is nothing âmorally reprehensibleâ about a transvaginal ultrasound. However for someone without much sexual activity, it might have been very uncomfortable, even painful. I had one after being married for 30 years and giving vaginal birth to two children. It was very uncomfortable. But there are lots of medical exams that are uncomfortable, but we have them because they are needed. Your provider was way out of line.
OK thats not the reason the Dr said it shouldn’t be done at least. They have to go deep in there for the ultrasound, and would probably have to break you hymen in the process. I had to get an ultrasound while I was still a virgin and the Dr explained it to me. You should report whoever actually did the sonogram because that’s not okay.
oh my god this is so wrong on the part of your medical people. do you want to risk missing something very serious, like cancer? get the transvag ultrasound, go somewhere else and lie about being a virgin. virginity is a concept, not a barrier to proper health care ffs. most of us break our hymens in childhood from sports, gymnastics, ballet, some of us aren’t even born with a membrane that’s strong enough that we even notice the first time we have penis in vagina sex. take care of your health, it’s literally all we have in this world!
What state are you in?
If you’ve never had a papsmear i can tell you a TVU is way worse and more invasive. I don’t care for their reasoning but if youre already anxious you would likely freak out at a TVU
I do not find that to be a medically sound position. Virginity isn’t a real thing to begin with, and even if it were, an ultrasound probe would not affect it.
Based on what you said, it’s hard to say. If she refused based on “purity” reasons that’s horrible and not okay at all. However, I will say I was supposed to have a transvaginal ultrasound when I have never been sexually active, and it was awful. The tech tried a couple of times before we agreed there was no reason to put me through it anymore and we did a regular ultrasound. If she was coming from the perspective of “it’s wrong to do a procedure this uncomfortable on someone who is never been sexually active” I can totally understand that and would agree that a lot of the gynological procedures they perform on women without pain relief are morally reprehensible. But I’m not sure I would expect a doctor to use that phrasing unless they meant the former. :/
This healthcare worker needs reported. She wasn’t concerned about your feelings or physical discomfort, she was imposing her moral perspective onto a medical procedure.
That is absolutely NOT normal. I had a transvaginal ultrasound at 16 while very much a virgin. Although I wouldâve much preferred if I felt like I had a choice to try the other ultrasound first, Iâm glad they ensured they got the imagining they needed to see if I had anything wrong going on. (I didnât, I just have crazy irregular periods)
I was 14 when i got my first ever vaginal ultrasound. Me being a virgin didn’t even came up, only my and my guardian’s consent.
Tho, where I was raised purity culture wasn’t even revelant.
Such a concept shouldn’t ever matter in the case of diagnosing any condition.
When I was 17/18 I had to deal with a huge cyst that grew on my left fallopian tube, which involved MRIs, CT scans, and ultrasounds (one was a transvaginal). The tech asked if I was sexually active, to which I said no, and she proceeded to do the ultrasound without comment.
Report this person. If this is such a problem for her she needs a different job.Â
Is your healthcare provider owned, run, or affiliated with a religious organisation?
What the virginity fetish did you witness? I’m so sorry. No, that’s not normal. I wonder how she’d have reacted if a virgin who used tampons crossed her path.
That isn’t normal, I was also a virgin when I had my ultrasound in December, he offered to use the smallest size they have to still get accurate readings. He was kind and made me feel respected and safe, and in no way made me feel like the procedure had anything to do with something besides my health and concerns.Â
Virginity is a social construct with no basis in science so there should be no place for them to decide a medical procedure as morally reprehensible when it comes to your health. Your health is most important always.Â
It sounds like she was worried your hymen was unbroken and she didn’t want to rip/break it with a medical device. Where I’m from in Canada they also won’t do paps on virgins for the same reason. You can still get manual vaginal exams and use tampons without rupturing the hymen.
Now all that being said, the way she said it was weird. That and your hymen being broken doesn’t mean anything. It happens all the time, and (personally) my society doesn’t value an unbroken hymen as a promise of virginity/religious values
I hate transvaginal ultrasounds and will refuse them every time, but I would have noped right out of there. âMorally reprehensibleâ?? What the actual f.
When I was a teen they did skip a transvaginal for me since I was both a virgin and had never used a tampon. I definitely can understand about it being comfortable or not (personally I was terrified), but yeah making it about anything other than that is definitely uncomfortable in and of itself
Um no that’s really strange. Being a virgin has nothing to do with whether inserting an ultrasound wand is possible or not. I had a transvaginal ultrasound before I’d ever had penetrative sex. It was slightly uncomfortable, but nothing that would ever make me feel like stopping the test.
Yes, this is normal.
Source: am an ultrasound tech who has worked at multiple hospitals in Ontario.
A transvaginal ultrasound is a very very easy and easily made comfortable procedure. Usually theyâll hand you the wand to self insert. Cant imagine youâd be your age and never have inserted anything into your own vagina?
Frankly, that is ridiculous. Iâd be complaining to the medical board – if the appropriate diagnostic tool is a transvaginal ultrasound, then whether or not you have had sex is irrelevant. Iâm honestly appalled at the notion that a medical doctor just, for all intents and purposes, equated a medical procedure with somehow taking your virginity.
In my country most doctors don’t do transvaginal ultrasounds if the patient doesn’t have experience with penetration because it can be painful and in some cases it can even injure the hymen.
When i really needed an internal ultrasound as a person who hasn’t had penetrative sex, i was offered a rectal ultrasound as an alternative.
I was too fat for anything but a transvaginal ultrasound to work, not that I was bothered about having it, it’s at most uncomfortable and awkward because someone’s wiggling something inside your vagina but neither of the three times I’ve had one was it more than that. Interesting seeing my kidneys doing stuff though.
Virginity is a social construct, this person sounds like they have some pretty creepy old-fashioned sexist ideas if I’m honest. Now if they had said I would rather not do this if I don’t have to because your hymen is intact or you were a bit young and it would be more mentally of a big thing for you then absolutely fine but hymen and not sexually active isn’t the same thing and given the word moral got chucked in there it sounds way more virginity skewed rather than health or comfort reasonings.
No, that’s some patriarchal bullshit. There is no hymen that ‘breaks’ like a freshness seal (in very rare cases people can have obstructive hymens). You have a medical reason to get it done; its disgustingly sexist if she won’t do the exam for moral reasons but is willing to risk your health.
I had my first transcaginal ultrasound before being any type of sexually active (yippeee endometriosis). This is not normal whatsoever, like others commented it sounds like some purity BS. Would definitely recommend speaking to your doctor about this – only if youâre comfortable with them !
My first time getting one, the tech made a big deal about how we didnât have to do it if I felt uncomfortable, âwas I really sure I wanted thisâ, etc. Iâm in the south and thought maybe there was some purity reasons behind it (she probably assumed Iâm evangelical), but at least it was always framed about my comfort. What was said to you is super inappropriate imo.
I went ahead with it and it wasnât that big of a deal at all. Just needed to relax a bit during the probe insertion, and from there it was fine.
In my case, I had symptoms that I really wanted to find the explanation for, which is why I pushed for both modalities. I believe the transvaginal did find something that the external one missed. But most of the time, I think just external is fine as long as your doctor oks it.
Morals should trump the doctor’s orders. I think it would be quite fair to request that your doctor’s orders be followed.
Uh, just FYI, if that was the person doing your scan, that was not a doctor. That was an ultrasonographer
I was denied one back when I still fit in that category and had just had an issue with kidney stones and had also been experiencing long term pain that ended up being cancer that the lab didnât catch. If that happened to me currently I would be too exhausted to advocate for my health after how much it took to address something that could have gotten bad enough to completely alter my life by idk not continuing it
Thatâs disgusting! Sheâs implying that a) the ultrasound is sexual and that b) that virginity isnât some made up bs. I would report her, even tho the recent âreligious objectionâ laws probably protect her, and not you, the patient. Your healthcare shouldnât be dictated by whether or not youâve had a penis in your vagina.
I had a transvaginal ultrasound when I was a virgin in high-school. It wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t horrendous either.
A âmoralâ ultrasound? This doc is a freak.
The way she explained it itâs terrible, but when I was a virgin and I had to get one done they didnât want to do it as well (Iâm guessing since it would hurt, and you may bleed at stuff), so I got it done up my ass lol, Iâm surprised they didnât tell you that option?
I did some training in ultrasound. Those probes are big and in my clinic we would ask because it can be a bit shocking or someone may have vaginismus making those particular ultrasounds excruciating if it was even possible to insert. We did it for comfort concerns but other techs or clinics may have different policies. The clinic also offered pain management for iuds and that was 10+ years ago.
I completely understand your frustration and hope everything turns out well. healthcare (especially womenâs) should not be something that can be persuaded by personal feelings.
Anecdotally, when I was 27 I started seeing a guy and I was a virgin and I went to a gynaecologist to get on birth control (instead of my pcp because I have other health problems) and she flat out said that since I wasnât actively having sex, she would t prescribe anything. How tf does that make sense? I didnât want to get knocked up the first time I had sex! đ
That seems odd to me. I was diagnosed with cyst in my ovaries in my late teens, and no one asked about my sexual history. It was just a quick and efficient way to get a good look at the issue.
It’s such a funny thing to say because I think a medical device going inside you is more innocent than a penis. Is that just me? Lmao
Never had a pap? At 27? What country are you in?
If it happens again, you could always say something like, “it’s ok, i bet it’s not any girthier than my vibrator.”
Do you like in Chicago? This happened to my sister and I would have literally fought this lady had I been there
I agree with others that, if the doctor refused the TVUS based on “moral purity” reasons, and given today’s political climate, we can’t necessarily assume she doesn’t mean that, then that is not okay.
However, if she was refusing because she felt it would be an extremely uncomfortable procedure for you, I honestly think she has your interest in mind. I’ve had a TVUS and, while I didn’t find that my discomfort reached the level of actual pain, it was definitely uncomfortable and probably would have been more so for a virgin. The wand that gets used is pretty large, and the way they move it around to view your kidneys and other organs can cause a lot of discomfort. Not to mention that you have to have a full bladder for the first scoping, then you go pee and they do it again to view your bladder at normal size. (Or, at least, that’s what they directed me to do.)
If a regular ultrasound could have provided the necessary views, then I agree with your doctor’s reasoning not to do the TV. It’s not a fun procedure! There’s no reason to put you through that if it isn’t necessary. As long as she doesn’t refuse it if it IS necessary.
Thatâs super weird, I thought you were going to say she didnât recommend it because she was considering your comfort. I wouldnât trust this doctor personally.
This is actually very weird bizarre behavior from a doctor. Itâs not her job to make moral decisions for you. Itâs her job to provide healthcare that you need. Period.
What no! Iâve had them a number of times while being a virgin and never had an issue.
That particular lady is just creepy. Virginity is a male concept that doesn’t mean anything at all beyond what meaning you personally give it. Plus, only actual sex can “take” virginity, not inserting any objects for non-sex purposes.
The idea that penises fundamentally alter us as beings really pisses me off. It shouldn’t matter.
I’m a sonographer and have witnessed several sonographers over the years that will refuse to perform transvaginal ultrasounds on virgins, teens, or elderly patients. Sometimes they will try to intimidate first time patients by showing them the transducer and saying something like, “do you want this going up there?” Our radiologists have made it clear it’s unethical to withhold a diagnostic option. Our hospital implemented written refusals for when patients don’t consent. That way the sonographer is accountable when they say a patient refused. With that said, if a patient isn’t sure whether they want a transvaginal, I will do everything in my power to see everything on top with a full bladder. I tell my patients honestly if I was able to see everything well or if a transvaginal would add to the evaluation. Either way, the patient always has the right to informed consent or refusal.
find a different doctor.
“Virgin” is not a medical or scientific term; it religious misogyny, which has no place in medicine. I’d report that comment, personally. Super unprofessional and gross for myriad reasons.
While her commentary was COMPLETELY unnecessary, most clinics wonât do an internal ultrasound on a virgin unless absolutely necessary. With the canal being âclosedâ for lack of a better word, it can cause great discomfort and pain.
I had one BEFORE I was sexually active. It is normal if needed. I would consider changing docs.
It’s the “Morally reprehensible” part of it that isn’t okay. If just the ultrasound was enough, and there was no need for a transvaginal ultrasound, then awesome! One less invasive procedure is never a bad thing. But if you truly needed it and their excuse not to was because it was “morally reprehensible”, that’s not okay. I HAD to have one when I was a teen, and no one hesitated on doing it because I was a virgin–the only concern was how uncomfortable I might be & that I knew & was fully aware of what was happening.
Anyway, definitely tell your regular doctor about it. And if you’re feeling really uncomfortable with the interaction, I’d also report it to the clinic/hospital, becayse that is not an okay thing for a doctor to say to a patient.
If this is the United States, you should report this doctor. Sheâs entitled to her beliefs, but her oath to first do no harm precludes her from putting her patients second
She thought it would take your virginity. What a nutjob.
A women’s health care doctor refusing to perform a transvaginal ultrasound for moral reasons is ludicrous. It’s absolutely garbage thinking.
A doctor does not get to decide that some man get dibs to your vagina.
I’m glad you didn’t need the transvaginal ultrasound because they are uncomfortable. However, her opinions about what your sex life has to do with what could have been a necessary test should never have been uttered. If it’s medically necessary and you want that test, you should get regardless of what she thinks should get there first for whatever reason she thinks it should go first.
When I’ve had them they allowed me to insert the wand myself so I could control the whole thing, which I appreciated.
It didn’t hurt and was not a sexual experience in any way, shape or form. She’s weird.
While I think itâs best to do what youâre comfortable with and not do it if itâs unnecessary, sheâs absolutely wrong and sounds like itâs her personal belief, not an expert medical opinion. You absolutely can have a transvaginal ultrasound as a virgin. Sexual history has nothing to do with the ability of the vagina to be probed lol. I would honestly report her. Thereâs nothing morally reprehensible about getting that ultrasound but there is about a doctor stating that.
Sounds like the US tech was assigning sexual feelings to them performing a vaginal ultrasound. Like they thought theyâd be taking away your virginity with the ultrasound wand. Which is bizarre, and kinda gross. I wouldnât want someone who thinks that way near my vagina anyways, so I guess it kinda worked out in that way. But still super inappropriate.
I legit wouldâve been tempted to say âoh donât worry; I may not have had penetrative sex before but that doesnât mean I havenât had something bigger than that wand up there ;)â just to throw them off, regardless of if it was true or not.
ItâsâŚan ultrasound. If you consent, then whatâs the issue?
Is no one else really grossed out by there even being any consideration that intra-vaginal procedures should be used with more caution if at all in women who have never been sexually active? Itâs not a sexual procedure just because it involves a body part commonly involved with sexual activity. Why are we acting like the vagina fundamentally changes after a penis penetrates it or that itâs terribly traumatizing to have something up there before a penis has been but afterwards itâs perfectly fineâŚidk the whole topic just feels gross in a way I canât articulate.
I would say it would be morally reprehensible to not conduct a medically necessary test if itâs needed. I realize that it might be awkward to have that test as a virgin, but the wand is really skinny and they give you a ton of lube. They will often let you insert it yourself.
They did the same thing to me, actually
I avoid transvaginal US on virgins but also at 27 years old, I wouldnât necessarily avoid. It would definitely depend on what the patients thought. Being a Virgin doesnât always mean the same thing. If a woman had used a dildo or had had Pap smears and was totally fine for example, they could likely handle TVUS but if they had never inserted anything into the vagina or had extreme discomfort with things like tampons or pap smears I definitely wouldnât require it unless the images are horrendous because of body habitus or other conditions that can make it harder to see what is needed to be seen.
This reminds me of the time I had an OBGYN tell me it was against HER religion to consider my request for a tubal ligation. Obvs I never saw that woman again for anything let alone my very reasonable request.
If you canât do your job, move over and let some other qualified person do it jfc.
Youâre absolutely not overreacting. I was in a similar situation where it wasnât communicated to me that I would be getting an internal ultrasound until I was literally in the room, so when I voiced my surprise and concern the sonographer was very understanding and worked with me to get a sufficient external one. Not once was âmoralsâ brought up by either of us, thatâs insane and unprofessional and even if in our cases the external ultrasound was sufficient to get proper medical care, Iâd definitely be concerned sheâd put others health at risk in the name of her âmoralsâ in a case where it wonât be sufficient and they wonât get adequate medical care as a result.
Wow. Very unprofessional
To give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe her concern wasn’t over like a religious morality, but more so your physical comfort since they dont give you any pain meds or anything and it would probably be significantly painful and it would not be a nice way to be stretched out for the first time.
It depends on the country and culture. In more traditional parts of Malayasia and Indonesia for example, unmarried women are expected to be virgins and the hymen is how that’s assessed. So gynos etc are often reluctant to do exams which could damage the hymen (if its intact) unless that’s absolutely necessary. Often, with unmarried women, Malayasian gynos will do an internal exam of the uterus etc through the rectum, rather than through the vagina so as not to break the hymen. But imagine that wouldn’t be a consideration in countries where virginity is not so important for women, so if this was in the West that’s surprising.
Avoiding an internal ultrasound on a virgin seems appropriate. But obviously not at the expense of your health.
I had to have an internal ultrasound while actively bleeding from miscarriage & infection. It was obviously necessary but certainly felt like it added to the trauma I was experiencing. I wonder if she would find that as morally reprehensible.
EhhhhhâŚthe moral comment is very weird. It makes me believe she def was pushing her own beliefs.
However, it is normal to switch to a regular ultrasound for comfort.
But I would say she was def weird.
It was her belief that she shouldnât cause you physical pain for a test that might not be necessary because the first sonogram should be good enough.
If you need the tv theyâll give it to you. For someone whoâs never had penetration the tv will be painful. Thereâs just no way to do it without pain. Iâm 35 years old and Iâve given birth and tv ultrasounds still cause me discomfort. I can only imagine how painful they would be as a virgin.