I’m 18(M) and I’ve kissed a few girls, been on some dates, cuddled all night in bed, but I haven’t had sex yet. I know I’m still young, but something that’s been getting to me lately is this fear that when I finally do fall in love, I won’t be the first guy she really wanted.
Not just sexually, but emotionally. Like I won’t be the one she had her first butterflies for, or the one she dreamed about building a life with. I’ll just be the one she ends up with after someone else didn’t work out.
It’s not even jealousy. I just want to feel like someone’s first choice, not their safe option.
Is that crazy to feel at this age? And also, what age do you think it’s “too late” to be someone’s first sexually or romantically? Or is it never too late?
Would love to hear thoughts from both guys and girls.
Comments
im 20, close to your age, and as a girl i have this same fear too.
keep in mind the right person will make you feel happy and secure no matter what
keep a positive mindset and i hope you find the one!
True love is basically a made up concept in fairytales. What matters now is how you get along and how you enjoy each other and how you grow together as your relationship develops.
It’s called “first” for a reason. It’s followed by second, third, fourth etc.
I’m not going to lie my first love is not the woman I’ve been married to for the last 30 years and been with since we were 16 years old.
My first love where I was an absolute lunatic was Paulette Kurt and I was in grade 8.
My wife dated somebody before me.
What somebody else posted is right. True love and many ways is a concept by the entertainment industry. Don’t misunderstand me. I love my wife fiercely and can’t imagine life without her, and we have a happy marriage, but it doesn’t mean it’s perfect all the time. And it doesn’t mean that there’s not ups and downs. Because it’s a strong enduring love.
First love, the ones where you’re excited in the butter, butterflies, and all that are wonderful. But it doesn’t last, what you hope is that once your past that first love stage, that you both have enough in common and enough character and enough belief in one another that you build a strong and enduring relationship.
First choices very often are bad choices.
You choose. You realize all the bad habits of your choice. You choose again.
Finding the love of your life isn’t a linear thing. It’s “try and error”
There is no such thing as the perfect fit. It always is a compromise between habits you can live with.
How should a woman know what a good man you are, if she never met a bad one?
And believe me, being the one person who is the best fit under several choices is a nice feeling too.
Plus: real love doesn’t care about the numbers of previous partners. Love is love.