My (29M) girlfriend (27F) of about three years and I just moved in together about a month ago. She has always been more extroverted than me, which is fine because she goes out and I get my alone time. However, since we moved in together, she has slept over 30-40% of nights at her friends’ place. Sometimes they’ll go out and then she will just spend the night, other times she just goes there in the evening to hang out and just crashes on their couch. This week, she’s spent four of the past five nights at her friends’ place. Is this normal? I like that she has her own friend group, but I was excited to spend nights with her after just moving in and it feels like she’s barely here.
For additional information: She started a new job earlier this year and these are old coworkers she hangs out with. She’s had a tough time making friends at her new place, so it makes sense that she has been hanging out with them more lately.
Also, it’s the same friends’ place she goes to every night. It’s about a 10-15 minute Uber ride from our apartment. Her friends’ apartment is a two bedroom with one guy (who is engaged) and one girl.
Finally, I tried to talk to my girlfriend about this when we first moved in and she said she was having a tough time adjusting to the move (i.e. having panic attacks) and just not feeling settled in yet. So, I do feel for her there.
Anyone been in this situation before? Is this abnormal? Thanks in advance to anyone who can offer their insight/opinion.
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She just moved in over convenience. She’s not into you.
I call bs. If she was/is having panic attacks about moving in with you then there shouldn’t have been a move in the first place. Especially at her age. If she can take an Uber to her friends place after a night out she can come home. If she is at her friends and she’s tired then she needs to come home. Is she at least helping with the bills? What’s the point of her living with you if she’s living with her friends? You need to discuss again with her about this point and any other issue you have as well. If she still insists that this shouldn’t be an issue to you or tries to make you out to be the bad guy then it tells you that she’s not as serious about the relationship as you are and you need to rethink about the future.
LOL
You are the side piece paying her rent. Kick her to the curb. Go no contact. Move on with life.
Never been in that situation but I can totally see how that could bother you. Since it’s still new, I would say give it some time and don’t be afraid to voice your concerns
Did she sleep at her friend’s house like this before y’all moved in together?
Sounds like she doesn’t wanna be around you, this is definitely not normal
Honestly it sounds like she wasn’t ready to move in with you. Out of curiosity how often did she spend the night with you before you guys moved in together? Also what are they doing when they go out? Is it possible that she drinks or does drugs and you guys argue if she’s “too drunk” or “too high”?