Is it okay that I (32F) started charging my ex (35M) for going out every Saturday?
I (32F) started to charge my ex (35M) for going out every Saturday. We live together and have a child. Sadly we can’t co-parent because he lives in my home and wont move out. So he started to go out every Saturday to have fun. and While I don’t mind that he goes out and does whatever he wants. I do mind that he expects me to stay home and watch our kid for 5 hours or more while he enjoys himself. Sadly I’m not able to do the same because when he has days off I have to work the next day. I have weekends off so he does take advantage of that. So I let him know that he need to pay me for watching our kid on my day off since he’s not able to do the same and since he’s doing it every day off I have. I honestly believe its fair since when I do go out I pay for a sitter.
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Why does he live in your house? Evict him and get custody and child support sorted out.
Evict him and do things normally? And that’s your kid.. you aren’t the babysitter. Grow up and actually deal with your shit.
… Seems really controlling that this guy is being isolated, controlling him mentally for hanging out with his friends once a week?
And then you blame him for your own work schedule.
Why not just hire a babysitter? If he pays you, why not get a babysitter…?
You clearly don’t want this to end or you wouldn’t be choosing to live with him and control his outings.
I’ve seen similar posts from men and they get eviscerated, I don’t see what excuses you.
Communication is key. Speak your thoughts. What does he say?
No, that’s not really okay. I know you feel it’s unfair but life is unfair, sorry that the universe doesn’t make your time off convenient with his schedule.
You say you can’t co-parent because you still live together, but surely you can have a conversation about how you’re going to split parenting now and in the future?
Would you be happier if he got a babysitter instead?
I’d be freaking petty and leave an hour before he does so he’d either have to pay a babysitter or stay home. If those are your days off, and you know when he’s going to leave just leave first. He’s doing this on purpose so that you can’t do anything. Just beat him at his own game.
Not sure of your financial situation and I know moving isn’t easy these days, but obviously the living arrangements aren’t sustainable. So you might need to get a lawyer involved and get the ball rolling.
I’d say just get a babysitter.
Uh, I don’t understand why you can’t co-parent now?
If you can’t co-parent while living together, it’s not going to change once he moves out.
If you guys haven’t actually sat down and hammered out a schedule of some kind, responsibilities and expectations, then you need to do that.
Take a sick day and change the locks. Put his stuff on the street.
Otherwise, sure charge him as part of the rent money you’re collecting.
Honestly, fuck it. Get a small loan. Tell him you’re moving and go to the courts.
Your ex is a loser and a deadbeat. He won’t pay you and you know it. If he has family, then put him on blast. Tell them everything. He doesn’t get peace and fun while under your roof. It will be chaos every day
Have you thought about going for child support/custody so you can get a court agreement in place. If he has every other week or every other weekend then he needs to find childcare on those days that he’s going out on. I would also look at how to file for eviction without a lawyer since you also have children and your father in the house maybe try and get some help from a service or charity that helps people with disabilities or children.
This poor kid….yall got priorities all fucked up…take that money you wanna spend to go out and instead take it, get the paperwork serve his ass for eviction and child support then figure out how to be civil with each other so you can support and raise the human being yall brought into ur messy ass lives except leave the messy part out…then when U switch who has ur kid go do ur thang and enjoy ur lil break….but U got work to out in first
This whole situation reminds me of eurythimcs song:
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
Give your kid to adoption and respectfully go f yourself . You don’t have spine to kick out and make that kid grow in that toxic environment with deadbeat dad and pushover mom . Please give up the kid .
It is an incredible feat to be a deadbeat dad while living in the same house as your child.