I’m currently only dating but I have plans to marry my boyfriend, and I love him so bad and want to spend the rest of my life with him. But sometimes I catch myself wanting to still keep a piece of me to myself. Since that day that I finally opened up about something that only I knew about myself I’ve been feeling like that part for me is not mine anymore (not in a bad way) but I still wanted something about me to be only mine.
The secret obviously wouldn’t be harmful to the relationship AT ALL, and that’s why I don’t know why I wouldn’t like to tell him.
If you want an example it’s like a social media account that I would only show drawing (harmless).
I’d appreciate opinions on that
Is it okay to keep a secret from your partner?
r/Advice
Comments
Not every part of you needs to be shared to prove love some secrets are sacred not selfish. Keep the harmless mystery identity doesn’t have to vanish in intimacy.
Yeah it’s totally fine. If you tell me not to tell anyone I’m not telling anyone
That’s not so bad. Although, might feel nice to share it and show your boyfriend if it does well. I’m sure he’d love it. Don’t have to though. I guess I get the feeling like it’s something just for you.
You don’t have to share it with him, yes it’s okay
I think it’s completely normal to have a little space that’s just yours, even in a close relationship.
So you are basically Batman
Nothing wrong with that
Nothing wrong in keeping some of yourself in a relationship. Not everything need to be said/shared as a we.
yeah it’s okay. you don’t have to share every little thing to be honest in a relationship. some things can just be yours.
It’s okay to keep parts of yourself just for you. Healthy relationships allow space for individuality. As long as it’s not deceptive or harmful, a private outlet like a secret drawing account is totally okay and valid!
There are so many things we don’t even think to mention to our partners, which is one reason we constantly learn new things about each other no matter how long we’ve been together.
Holding back something harmless now and the need to keep something separate isn’t “bad,” but it could be a sign of “too much togetherness” in some way. Give that some thought. And keeping it a secret if it has resulted in any questions would be wrong—actively hiding something. If he wonders what you spent all that time doing and you say, “drawing,” and he asks to see out of an appreciation for your talent, will you refuse and, if so, why? What is he going to think? And I don’t mean, he is already the suspicious type—if that’s why you feel the need to have a secret, you should have dumped him a long time ago bc the relationship is very unhealthy.
Keeping a little secret from your partner? Totally normal! It’s like having a hidden stash of cookies – you love sharing, but sometimes you just want to indulge solo. Plus, if your secret is harmless, it’s basically like keeping a pet rock. Sure, it doesn’t fetch or bark, but it’s yours and that’s what counts! Just remember, if he ever finds out about that secret social media account and your amazing drawings, he might start wondering why you never drew him in a superhero cape. Keep those secrets safe… for now!
Keep it, you don’t have to share everything
Ideally, you’d want to keep a harmless part of yourself form your partner.
But relationships aren’t ideal. At some point you’re going to slip up, and they’re going to find it. And they’re going to wonder exactly why you hid this
E.g.
I am a rough human being, I did guard work. I am mean looking and speak heavy Basilectal creole. No one expects me to be cultured, or to write or read books. A guy on here even called a racial stereotype cause he read my Mesolect.
Anyway, My wife certainly did not expect me to write either. Or be good at it. And she got quite surprised when she found my literature.
After 8 years of marriage.
She exploded for a bit, but when she realized it was harmless she calmed down.
What you may think is not harmful to the relationship. Could actually be a massively huge deal to the SO. So it truly always depends on the partner you have. Everyone is different. If that’s the person you want to be. Then find someone who is fine keeping secrets from you too. Fairs only fair.
Whereas you’ll find people who’ll tell you literally their entire day and half expect the same. So again. Make sure you’re finding someone you’re compatible with rather than just being with someone for the sake of it…. If that’s what you want anyway. Do what you want. It’s your relationship. The only reason it’s going to end is because of either you or your SO choosing to do so one way or another. If you don’t mind that reason being “they found out about the secret and then reacted one way when I preferred they didn’t” then go for it.
Having some things just for you is fine and healthy, as long as it’s not harmful to the relationship as has been said. My husband and I have been married 30 years and we don’t share everything. In the early days of personal blogging, I started one and wrote often. I never shared it with him. I just wanted it to be mine.
Just be sure that your reason for not wanting to share is not because you think he’d be critical of it, or make fun of you, or whatever. You don’t want a partner you need to hide things from for those reasons. It doesn’t sound like that from your OP, I’m just saying it is something to think about.